Class Action...Living and Writing in Kentucky!

Easter Eggs and Sesame Street

2012-01-29T10:26:00.001-08:00

The warm days that we have been having remind me of early Spring weather. We were out driving this past Saturday, and I told Lisa that I wouldn't have been too surprised to see children out in the grass hunting for Easter eggs. This season has almost an unnatural feel to it. However, it isn't. It is just one of those flukes of good old Mother Nature. She's just having a hot flash at the moment. I'm still holding out for at least one good snow, but it doesn't look like we will have one this week. Maybe February will be better for snow. Time will tell.

In other news, one of our good Facebook friends is in Russia right now. She is on her first trip to see her possible new baby. She left yesterday and should be in bed at the moment since Russia is 8 hours ahead of us in time. I can remember the first trip that Lisa and I made to Russia last year. The airline we flew, Delta, did a really good job of making you feel like you weren't skipping time zones. They fed you dinner once you were on the plane, then darkened the lights so that you could sleep, and then fed you breakfast when you woke up.

However, your body knows differently! At least, mine did. The clock said that it was 10 am at the airport when we landed, but my mind was screaming that it was only 2 am and that it wanted to go back to sleep. There was a five hour drive from the airport to the hotel. Lisa and I did fall asleep during the drive there. But then...when we were supposed to be asleep, we were wide awake again.

I can remember that it was one o'clock in the morning, and we were both wide awake and starving! That is because it was just 5 pm here in the USA. We were ready for dinner! Luckily, we both had some snacks with us. It is amazing how the human body can function even in extreme situations such as that one. We are all true living miracles.

I know that Jacob has been our miracle. After 18 years of marriage, we were more than ready to become parents. Now, we are coming up on 20 years together this May. Lisa and I are more in love today than ever, and we are so in love with our little boy. I knock on wood often because I don't want this good luck to end.

I just wish our good friend the best of luck on her first trip. I know that she still has a long journey in front of her, but at least she has taken that first step. The flights to Russia are 10 hours long each way, and that in itself is enough! Lisa and I took a total of 3 trips to complete our adoption. I'm glad that we don't have to go back anytime soon. However, we will probably take another trip to Russia in the future just so that we can show Jacob where he came from. That is...if he wants to go. We will leave that up to him.

On another subject, I went to the local hospital and had my Upper GI and my EKG tests done. The results were sent to my doctor in Columbus. I have to still have my stress test done this week. I'm not really looking forward to it, but I see it as just another hoop I have to jump through in order to get my gastric banding surgery done.

I would like to lose about 90 pounds within the next year or two. My main reason for doing this is to be healthier and have more energy. My other main concern is being able to fit into amusement park rides. I don't know about you, but it seems like it gets harder and harder to get my big butt in those rides each year. I have a feeling that Jacob is going to be the type of child who loves to ride every ride....including the ones that flip you on your head about a zillion times. Lisa won't ride anything that flips you upside down...so I guess that I will have to be the responsible parent on those rides. Not that I mind. I love amusement parks!

In fact, this summer, we are planning on taking Jacob to Sesame Place. Sesame Place is a family theme park that is located in Langhorne, Pennsylvania. According to their website, you can "share in the spirit of imagination with your kids at Sesame Place - where you can experience Sesame Street together through whirling rides, water slides, colorful shows & furry friends. And where you'll discover that sometimes, the best part of their childhood is rediscovering yours." I'm really looking forward to going and seeing the life size recreation of Sesame Street! This sounds like a really cool park. I don't think that I'll have to worry about flipping on my head at this park though....LOL!

Take a moment today and be thankful for all of your blessings. The small things in life are truly the most important ones of all. I know from personal experience that the best thing in the world can be a hug from your child as he says, "I love you daddy." I wouldn't trade that for all the gold in the world.

Until next week....class dismissed!

What a Weekend!

2012-01-22T18:57:00.001-08:00

This past weekend, Lisa and I decided that we would actually (gasp) stay home all weekend long! For those of you who know us, you know that this simply isn't how we do things in the Fugate household. Usually on a Saturday, you will find us all joyfully in our minivan, traveling to places here and there. Granted, since it is just a weekend trip, it isn't to some grand, far-away location. But it is at least away from the house.

My poor mother can never understand this. She is a true home-body because she loves to stay at home. There are a lot of people out there who love to stay at home as well. Perhaps some of you who are reading this will agree with my mother. However, ever since Lisa and I have been married...and that is 20 years this year...we have always been travelers. You can't mess with tradition.

Well, leave it to us to try and mess with tradition....LOL! I don't know what got into our heads this weekend, but we thought that it would be a good idea to just sit home and enjoy ourselves. Well, we did sit home....so that part actually worked out. The enjoying ourselves? Not so much!

It all started about half way through Saturday. For me, it was when the walls started to breathe and drip blood. And then there was the demonic voice yelling, "Get out! Get out!" Okay...so maybe it wasn't that bad. Maybe it was more of a whisper than a yell.

At first, I thought it was just me. However, by Saturday afternoon, Lisa looked over at me, her eyes glazed, and stated, "We have GOT to go somewhere next weekend!" I was so happy! I couldn't have agreed more. While it was nice to stay home....maybe for an hour or so....I wouldn't want to make a habit of it! Things like that can drive a person crazy!

Now this isn't saying that we don't love our house. We do! We absolutely LOVE our house and feel very blessed to have it. I'm just saying that we are not the type of people who like to be enclosed by four walls and a roof. We like to be out and about. We are explorers. And I think that Jacob feels this way too. He seemed unusually grouchy this weekend. Maybe he was just picking up on our vibes, or maybe he was truly wanting to get out on the open road. Who knows! All that I know is that I don't want a repeat of this weekend. As Lisa and I say, we can rest later....much, much later!

Looking back on our marriage, I know that this is one of the many reasons why Lisa and I have had such a strong marriage. We have been together so long because we love doing the same things. We both love to travel, we both love to see new places and experience new things, we both love the theater, we both love to read, and we both love to make the other one happy. Now that we have Jacob, we have just added him to the mix. It all makes for one fine family recipe!

In other news, for those of you who are keeping up with my upcoming gastric banding surgery, I went for a full day of tests at Riverside Medical in Columbus, Ohio. During this full-day event, I had my blood work done. I also had a meeting with a psychiatrist to see if I was mentally sound enough to know what I was doing. The doctor was very nice and said that she didn't see any red flags....besides me seeing images of blood and wanting to dress up like my mother and open a hotel. Okay...okay....just kidding. Everything went by smoothly in that area. I guess all of you who have children in my classroom can breathe a sigh of relief. I'm NOT crazy after all!

I also saw a medical doctor for a complete physical who gave me a clean bill of health. A dietician was the last doctor that I saw that day. I have to start a food diary so that I can see exactly what I am putting into my body. She also suggested that we start cutting our food into dice-sized pieces to get used to it.

One thing that is going to be hard for me is giving up pop. I love to drink pop. I did switch to Diet Pepsi several years ago, but I won't be able to continue drinking anything carbonated when I have my banding. The bubbles make you very uncomfortable and can swell your pouch. I have been pop free for over a week now, and it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I have been drinking a lot of G2 and water.

I have to go back and see the surgeon, Dr. Tom, in a week or so. Then we can plan on surgery. I would love to have it mid-February. If not, then I want to wait until mid-March since I have several things that I need to get done in early February. I will keep you all updated!

So....time to get this article posted. The walls are starting to breathe again....time to call in the priest! Or....maybe it is time to plan something to do next weekend. What do you think?

Until next week....class dismissed!

New Year Resolution!

2012-01-08T18:22:00.001-08:00

Another year has gone and a new one is underway. Sorry that I haven’t written in a few weeks, but it has been a very hectic few weeks with the Christmas rush and the New Year’s celebrations. Throw in a trip to Houston, TX and….woosh….the time seems to fly by!

As the new year starts, I hope that everyone is sticking to their resolutions. It seems as though everyone is all ready to start fresh…to start their lives over again…with the ringing in of another year. A New Year's resolution is a commitment that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit. A key element to a New Year's Resolution that sets it apart from other resolutions is that it is made in anticipation of the New Year and new beginnings. People committing themselves to a New Year's resolution generally plan to do so for the whole following year. This lifestyle change is generally interpreted as a good thing. In other words, we don’t say, “I’m going to resolve to gain 50 pounds!”

One of my resolutions this year is to lose weight and get healthy. I have always had issues with my weight…even as a child. I had some success with low-carb dieting a few years ago, but the weight is creeping back up. So before I get back to my old weight again, I have decided to take measures to lose weight this year.

I guess that a lot of people have made this resolution, but I plan on taking another step toward my goal. I am getting ready to have gastric banding surgery done. With this surgery, an inflatable band is placed around the upper part of the stomach to create a smaller stomach pouch. This restricts the amount of food that can be consumed at one time and increases the time taken for the stomach to empty. The patient achieves sustained weight loss by limiting food intake, reducing appetite, and slowing digestion.

This will be a fairly straightforward surgery. Gastric banding is the least invasive surgery of its kind. Gastric banding is performed using laparoscopic surgery and usually results in a shorter hospital stay, faster recovery, smaller scars, and less pain than open surgical procedures. Because no part of the stomach is stapled or removed, and the patient’s intestines are not re-routed, he or she can continue to absorb nutrients from food normally. Gastric bands are made entirely of biocompatible materials, so they are able to stay in the patient’s body without causing harm.

My wife had this surgery done 2 ½ years ago and she has had wonderful results. I have lived through this with her, and I know the pros and cons of the banding lifestyle. I know that this is not just a magic bullet that is going to solve all of my problems. However, it is a great tool that I will be able to use in order to obtain a healthier weight. I feel that I will be able to do this because I have the support that I need from my wife. We can support each other.

In the coming weeks, I will be sharing my experiences with you as I go through surgery, recovery, and my first steps into the gastric banding life. I hope that perhaps I will be able to help others who may be having trouble with their weight who may be considering gastric banding.

Until next week….class dismissed!

Christmas Giving…and Oyster Stuffing

2011-12-12T02:52:00.001-08:00

As Christmas gets closer and closer, I am reminded about how much our priorities change as we age. We go from thinking only of ourselves to thinking of others. We go from a more selfish point-of-view to a point of view where we are considering the thoughts and feelings of the people around us. As we grow and change, we realize that we are not center of the universe and that others matter as well.

When I was a child, Christmas was all about the presents. I loved Christmas because it was a time that I was able to get new toys and lots of candy, fruit, and other good things to eat. My mom always made the best turkey and oyster stuffing. We only got turkey and oyster stuffing on Christmas, so it was something that was a real treat. I remember waking up early on Christmas morning and having the house smell so good from all the celery and onions that were already being chopped up in preparation for the Christmas feast.

As I got older and moved out of the house, Christmas was a time to come home from college and have a much needed break from my studies. I treasured this time with my mom and dad because I didn't get to see them very much. I was too busy with classes and friends at that time. However, Christmas was always a time when things slowed down and I could come home to spend time with my parents. As an only child, we didn't have those big family Christmases that you see on television. It was a simple matter. However, we had (and still have) as much love as a family of 1000! It was so nice to get to come home for a while. You don't appreciate your mom's home-cooking until you have been eating food at college for a while!

After I married Lisa and we moved away, Christmas grew for me. Up until that time, Christmas was just about me and my parents. When Lisa and I got married, the Christmas holidays also included my lovely wife and her family. It was cool to see new traditions and celebrate the holidays with new people as well. I loved Lisa's family and their Christmas celebrations because they were now my family as well. This started our tradition of spending time with Lisa's family on Christmas Eve and my family on Christmas day. I still had to get home to that famous turkey with oyster stuffing!

After 19 years of marriage (going on a lovely 20!), Lisa and I find ourselves in a new role. We are now Mommy and Daddy to a lively 2 year (going on 3 year!) old little boy. Now Christmas has taken on a new meaning for us. My greatest Christmas gift this year has been making this holiday season as magical as I can make it for my son, Jacob. We have been reading Christmas stories, watching Christmas DVD's, and visiting the stores to see what Santa can bring him on Christmas morning.

This past weekend, we traveled around to various places.....and wouldn't you know it.....we ended up seeing Santa THREE different times! First, we saw Santa at True Value right here in Jackson. Of course, Jacob had to sit on Santa's lap and have his picture taken while he told Santa not to forget his guitar on Christmas morning. After that, we saw Santa again in Meijer's at Hamburg in Lexington. Jacob ran up to the old man with all the toys and once again had his picture made with him. He told Santa to bring him a guitar. He just wanted to make sure that he didn't forget.

Finally, we enjoyed the Southern Lights display at the Kentucky Horse Park. For those of you who have never been, this is a wonderful Christmas display of lights and music. You drive through the Horse Park and enjoy scenes such as the 12 Days of Christmas, Winter Villages, and even a dragon! Afterwards, you go to the Visitor's Center to see holiday crafts, shows, and...you guessed it...Santa! We had to see Santa one last time. And of course....Jacob once again told Santa to bring him a guitar. I guess that Jacob thought that Santa really traveled around on that day! LOL!

So as we get closer to the holiday, I just want to say that for me, Christmas is all about bringing joy to my little boy and to my family. I just want them to have the happiest holiday of all. For me....it isn't about the gifts and the "trappings" of the season. It is about the giving.

Of course, I am still looking forward to Mom's turkey and oyster stuffing!

Until next week....class dismissed!

Christmas is Alive and Well!

2011-12-04T15:02:00.001-08:00

Christmas time is almost here! You will be happy to know that Christmas is alive at the Fugate household...and so is Santa Claus! Jacob has been learning all about the holiday and how Santa Claus comes to visit all the good boys and girls on Christmas Eve. He is all excited to know that Santa will leave toys and candy for all the good children in their stockings and under the Christmas tree. Now...if he can just get the "good" part down...LOL! Bless his heart, he really is trying.

So far, we have decorated the Christmas tree and hung up the stockings. Of course, we had to decorate the tree in the child-friendly fashion this year. This means that the decorations only come down to a certain line....Jacob's reach. He is so excited about the tree that he just has to grab decoration off of it. He wants to help with the decorating. But his idea of decorating is taking ornaments off of the tree and flinging them down the basement stairs! Maybe he is just trying to spread the Christmas spirit around a little bit more. Who knows?!?

This past weekend, we traveled to Grayson, Kentucky. This is where my wife Lisa spent her childhood so we try to get back there every now and then just to see how things have changed. While we were there, we went shopping at K-Mart. Well wouldn't you know it....they had a huge sale on toys! We just had to make sure that "Santa" was able to get some good bargains on the Christmas bonanza that will soon hit. LOL! Of course, I had to distract him while the toys were loaded into the van. HA!

We also hit several other stores on our way to Ashland and Huntington. In Wal-Mart, we even got to see the old man with all the toys himself....Santa Claus! We quietly informed Santa that this was the first time Jacob had ever seen Santa in person and that he might be a little bit frightened. Old Santa was really calm and kind with Jacob and didn't let out with any loud "HO HO HO's." Instead, we gently placed Jacob in his lap. Santa asked Jacob what he wanted for Christmas. Jacob was really shy and quiet, but he didn't cry or try to get down. I was afraid that he would shout "NOT REAL" and try to jerk Santa's beard off! Instead, he bashfully told Santa that he wanted a guitar and some drums for Christmas. Add a couple more items to the list! LOL! Luckily, his Mamaw Janet has already gotten him a guitar...so that just left a drum set for us to get for him. Check!

After a long day of shopping and playing with the toys in the toy aisles, we hit Central Park in Ashland, Kentucky. They have a fantastic Christmas light display. The best thing about it is that you can drive all the way around it and see everything. You don't even have to get out of the car. Now, it isn't as big as the Southern Lights at the Horse Park...but it is a really nice display. Jacob's eyes got really big as he gawked out of the window so that he could see everything. He kept saying "Again...see it again!" So we made a couple trips around the park so that he could enjoy it.

It was a long day...but it was a good day. I think that "Santa" is all ready to go now. The toys are snuggled away in a secret location....ready to make their grand appearance on Christmas day. I still need to see which ones come in multiple parts. I will get to take on the role of Head Elf....putting all of this stuff together. I certainly don't want to be stumbling around all bleary-eyed on Christmas morning trying to fit Tab A into Slot A....or trying to find batteries! What would Santa do? LOL!

This will be our first Christmas as a family....and Lisa and I couldn't be happier. We spent so many years waiting to be parents. And now that moment is here. Our first Christmas. We just want to make it a magical moment for our little boy. I know that each Christmas is a special, magical time. But there will never be a "first" Christmas ever again. We plan to make this year the best one in the books.

So as we count down the days until old Santa arrives, I hope that each and every one of you will find the Christmas spirit alive and well at your house as well. Christmas is a time full of love and giving. And Christmas through the eyes of a child is something that is worth more than all of the silver and gold in the world. God Bless! Merry Christmas!

Until next week....class dismissed!

Thankful Times!

2011-11-13T19:20:00.001-08:00

As the time of Thanksgiving approaches, I have to sit and wonder about how much has changed in my life this past year. In fact, it was one year ago this week that my wife and I traveled to Russia for the very first time to see our son, Jacob Eduard Bryson Fugate. We went out to eat tonight. While we were driving to Hazard, we were talking about how that first trip to Russia went for us.

We said that it was just amazing that we could hop on a plane and just fly to Russia. We started out in Cincinnati and flew to JFK in New York. That place was a circus! There were tons of people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and nationalities rushing about everywhere. Soon, Lisa and I were in our little section of people who were all traveling to Russia. I don't know what I expected, but I remember being amazed that most of the people flying with us were Russian. LOL!

That first flight was something that I will always remember. Lisa and I found our way to our seats and got ready for the 10 hour flight to Moscow. Like most Americans, we calmly found our way to our seats and put our carry-on bag neatly in the overhead bin. Soon, the plane was swarmed with Russians who were cramming bags into overhead compartments like crazy. There were arms and legs everywhere. Lisa and I just looked at each other with wide-eyed amazement...but we didn't say anything. We were able to warn others on the next two flights to Russia though!

We flew into Moscow and met Olga....our translator and tour guide. She was an amazing woman and made us feel welcome in a land that I thought we would never be able to visit. She was literally with us every step of the way. She got a driver for us, made our hotel reservations, ordered food for us in the restaurants, and even stayed in the hotel with us right next door in case we needed anything. She went with us to all the meetings and made sure that we signed all the right papers. Without her, we would never have been able to get our son.

Jacob. He is such an amazing little boy. I love to see him growing and learning more each day. I remember sitting in the orphanage at this time last year when they first brought him in to meet us. He was a shy, little thing. He didn't want to look at us.....much less, play with any of the toys we brought. He didn't say anything. He just looked at the floor and at the orphanage director. But like Lisa said later on that night....it was love at first sight.

Slowly, we built up a friendship with him. We offered him lots of brightly colored toys and some great snacks.....Teddy Grahams and cookies! That warmed him up to us a bit faster! We knew right away that we were going to adopt this sweet little boy no matter what our doctor advised us to do. Luckily, our doctor had no reservations. We were working with an international adoption doctor through the University of Kentucky. She examined photos we sent to her and all of his medical background. She could see no reason why we shouldn't adopt Jacob.

Two more trips to Russia.....and he was ours! I still remember that unreal feeling when they placed him in Lisa's arms and said, "Dress him." It was amazing! Suddenly.....we were parents!

Now, a year later, we can look back at all of the photos and see just how much he has grown and changed. Our lives have changed so much....for the better. He is a typical, American boy now. He loves to go to daycare and is getting ready to enter preschool in a few more months. He loves his Mommy and Daddy. He loves his Mamaw Becky and Papaw Lonzo and Mamaw Janet. And he absolutely LOVES to eat at Wendy's and go to Wal-Mart for toys!

As we are getting ready to enter the Thanksgiving and Christmas season, I can reflect on this past year and firmly state that I have so much to be thankful for. We have been blessed with this wonderful little boy. We have been given a gift more precious than all of the money in the world. We have been entrusted with the care and upbringing of this amazing child....and I could not be any happier. Being a parent is the best thing that I could ever imagine. Lisa and I both agree that everything happened just like it was meant to be.

So, as we prepare Jacob for Christmas and Santa....we close out our first year together and get ready for another. Nobody knows what the future will hold. But if it is anything like this last year, it will be full of life, love, and happiness. We have nowhere to go but forward. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Until next week....class dismissed!

The Arm…Part 7

2011-09-25T18:49:00.001-07:00

Dillon let out a screech and jerked his leg backwards. The arm continued its death grip on his leg. Raising his other leg, Dillon prepared to crush it.

"Hold on....hold on," a voice called out from under the car. Suddenly a young man who appeared to be in his early 20's came crawling out from under the car. He let go of Dillon's leg and smiled uneasily. Dillon could see with some alarm that the man had a tire iron in his other hand.

"I just had....just had to make sure, you know," the man said, glancing around nervously, "I had to make sure that you weren't one of....them."

Dillon shuddered and nodded. It was an unspoken word between them, but they both knew what he was talking about. Zombies. It seemed that things that were once dead....weren't so dead anymore. Dillon could still see the images of the two zombies he had left back at his house. Were they following him even now?

"Hey, I hope I didn't scare you too much," the man looked at the car and shook his head in disgust.

"Just a bit," Dillon lied, "Is this your car?"

"Yep," the man said, "It sure is."

"Ummmm....then why did you run off the road?" Dillon asked, "Why are you in the ditch?"

"Come over here and see for yourself," the man said leading Dillon to the ditch. Dillon suddenly didn't want to know...but he went anyway.

Underneath the front tires, Dillon could see the twitching remains of a zombie. It was pinned underneath the car...but it was still moving. The tires had crushed its ribcage.....and yet it continued to look at both of them, chomping its teeth and trying to get at them. A low moan escaped from its lips which were peeled back in a sneer of blood and pain.

Dillon turned and walked three steps before he threw up. Hot vomit splattered on his shoes. He felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked away. He didn't want to be comforted....not now.

"Hey....hey," the man said, "It's okay. It's going to be......okay."

Dillon closed his eyes. He could tell from the sound of the man's voice....the way that his voice trailed off at the end....that even he didn't believe it. Would things ever be alright again?

Dillon turned around, wiping his mouth, "What's going on? Why is this happening?"

"I don't know," the man said, walking back over to his car, "I was listening to the radio when the news cut in that there were reports of people....being attacked. I still don't think that they know what is going on....actually. They just kept saying it was people attacking other people....but this is....really messed up."

"The head," Dillon said, pointing to the front of the car.

"What?" the man asked.

"I think you have to destroy the head," Dillon said, "At least, that is how they always do it in the movies."

"Yeah....right," the man said blankly. He walked slowly to the front of the car. Dillon looked away. He didn't want to see.....but he still heard. The thwack of the tire iron sinking into soft flesh...through bone...and into the dark, warm tissues inside. He heard the man choke back some vomit of his own.

"You're right," he heard the man say, "It stopped moving."

Dillon turned around and saw the man looking down at the ground. He started to walk toward the man.....he just had to see for himself.

"Don't look at it," the man said, holding Dillon back, "Let's just get out of here. I think that if you steer the wheel that I can push this thing out of the ditch. Wanna' get out of this place?"

"Yes," Dillon said....and that was all. He felt numb. He didn't really know what he felt right now. He just wanted to get as far away from this place as he could.

As he slipped into the car and started turning the wheel to the left just like the man had told him to, he heard him say, "By the way, my name is Jeremy."

"Nice to meet you Jeremy," Dillon croaked, his throat still burning from the vomit.

Soon, with a little pushing and a lot of sweat, the car was back on the road. Dillon slid over and Jeremy took control of the wheel. At first, the car just grinded and screeched. It didn't want to start again. But finally, just like the zombies, it came back to life.

Without a word, Jeremy took off down the road. In the rear view mirror, Dillon thought that he saw the shuffling figure of a man...a man without a throat....come around the curve to where they had just been. He reached out and turned the mirror. He didn't want to see.....or think.

The Arm…Part 6

2011-09-12T02:24:00.001-07:00

With a yell, Dillon pushed the old woman backwards. Fueled by his fear, he was able to send her reeling backwards into the wall where she crashed and sank to the floor. But her eyes, dead and dark, never left him. And her teeth......kept gnashing....trying to bite. Behind them, he could hear Mr. Miller's groans as the zombie slowly got back to his feet.

In a panic, Dillon raced past the old woman and down the stairs. So far, it seemed that both of the zombies were easy to push out of the way....and they were slow. But he didn't want to chance it. He had seen too many movies. It only took one careless mistake. Then, it was all over. So instead, he just wanted to get as much distance between himself and the two creatures as possible. He had to get help!

Downstairs, he could see that the zombies had totally wrecked the house. Knick-knacks were lying broken all over the place. Chairs were turned over. The kitchen door was completely destroyed. The only thing that went through his mind was that his mom was going to be completely ticked off! That image in his mind made him snort with a crazy little laugh. He thought about trying the phone again to call his parents, but inside he knew that it was no good. The lines were dead. As dead as Mr. Miller and the old woman upstairs.

Racing out the door, he made his way down the road just as fast as he could. His breath was hot and burning in his lungs as he ran over dirt and gravel. He knew that if he could just make it to the highway that he would be able to flag someone down.....get help....or a ride into town. Living up in a hollar in Breathitt County, a person didn't see too many people out and about most of the day. However, the highway was a different story. So, he only had to go about 2 miles and he would find help....hopefully.

The day was already starting to fade. The sunlight was sinking slowly behind the trees, casting strange shadows on the road in front of him. The hills around him seemed to be full of eyes....watching him. Hungry eyes that wanted to taste his flesh. Shuddering, he ran faster. He didn't want to look up in the hills because he might see something that he didn't want to see.

Racing around a sharp curve in the road, he suddenly came to a dead stop. There was a car in the road. Well, it wasn't quite in the road as across the road. It looked like someone had wrecked their car and had run it into the ditch. The motor wasn't running, and Dillon couldn't see anyone around.

His heart racing, he walked slowly up to the car. Taking a deep breath, he peered into the window. He didn't see anything or anyone. There wasn't anyone in the front or back seat. Dillon looked around. He didn't see anyone around. He wondered what had happened.

"Hello?" he yelled out, hoping that he wasn't attracting the wrong kind of attention...the zombie kind. But if someone was here, he didn't want to pass up help.

Nobody answered. All that he could hear was his own breath. It was so quiet. He had never known it to be this quiet. Not even in a hollar in Eastern Kentucky. It was as though someone had thrown a blanket over the world and muffled all the sounds.

Just then, something grabbed his ankle. With a screech, he looked down. There was an arm reaching out from under the car. It had grabbed hold of his ankle....and wouldn't let go!

The Arm…Part 5

2011-08-14T16:32:00.001-07:00

Dillon awoke with a jolt. Panic set in once again as the image of Mr. Miller being eaten alive flooded back into his head like a deadly, poisonous tidal wave of terror. Hopping up he ran to the window. The old woman was still there. She was just rambling around in the yard. She didn't seem to know where she was going. She was just walking aimlessly. And now she had a companion.

Dillon's eyes grew wide as he saw that Mr. Miller was up on his feet once again. He was just standing there though, his back turned toward Dillon so that Dillon couldn't get a good look at the bite on his neck. He wasn't trying to get away. For a second, Dillon thought about opening the door and yelling at him to get back inside. But something stopped him. Something wasn't right. Mr. Miller took a couple of steps. He was walking with the same shuffle that the old woman was walking with at the moment. And then he turned toward the house.

Dillon hissed in a breath of air and quickly ducked down so as not to be seen. Mr. Miller's body was in the yard. But it wasn't Mr. Miller. In that brief second, Dillon had seen that most of Mr. Miller's throat was gone. In the large hole that remained, Dillon had seen cords and tendons hanging, raw meat that had already begun to attract flies. Mr. Miller was dead. The problem was....he was still walking around.

"Oh my god!" Dillon whispered to himself, "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

He kept as quiet as he could, hoping again hope that he hadn't been seen. What in the world was going on? Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe Mr. Miller was just stunned. Dillon slowly slid his head back up to the window. Just one more peek wouldn't hurt. Maybe Mr. Miller was hurt really bad and was just in shock.

As he slid up, he suddenly found himself face to face with Mr. Miller who was staring at him with a blank look. Was he trying to say something? His mouth was working. A large blob of blood oozed out and fell to the ground. And then, he smashed one of his hands into the glass, shattering it.

"OH MY GOD!" Dillon cried out, pushing himself backwards, "Stay away from me!"

Mr. Miller showed no emotion. He only kept smashing away at the window. And then, he started reaching in through the window, reaching toward Dillon who was lying on the floor, staring in horror at the apparition before him. Behind him, he could see that the old woman had gained interest and was slowly making her way toward them. But the worst thing was....now Dillon could hear them.

Both of them were making low moaning sounds. The old woman let out a little cry like she was in pain when she caught sight of Dillon and started reaching in through the window as well. Mr. Miller was trying to make a moaning sound but his was garbled with the gurgling sound of blood.

Whipping up to his feet, Dillon ran out of the kitchen and into the living room. In here, there was no broken glass....no walking dead....and no horrible moaning sounds. It was almost like a normal day. Except that Dillon couldn't just imagine it away anymore. Something was going on and he was right in the middle of it.

He grabbed up the phone. But it was still dead. He couldn't call anyone for help. What was he going to do?

Just then, a loud crash came from the kitchen as the glass in the door exploded under the fists of the two zombies outside. Screeching with fright, Dillon raced upstairs and ran to his room. Locking the door, he ran into his closet and slammed the door shut. Hot tears of fear were streaming down his face and his breath was coming in ragged gasps.

Closing his eyes, he tried to calm himself down. A few seconds later, he heard the remains of the kitchen door slam open downstairs. They were in the house.

"Oh dear god," he whispered, "Please don't let them come up here. Please just let them go away."

He kept hearing loud knocks and bangs downstairs. Once he heard something shatter onto the floor. Was it a dish? Was it one of his mom's cat figurines that she kept on her knick-knack shelf? He just kept as still as he could.

For about ten minutes, he couldn't hear anything. It seemed that the house was empty once again. Maybe they had left. Maybe they had gone on to find other prey.

And then he heard it....the footsteps on the stairs. There was no mistaking it. He could hear the squeak of the third step that always sounded out when someone was coming upstairs. Sure enough...the steps got louder and louder. Someone....something....was coming up.

"No...no...no...no," Dillon said, his mind racing around like a rat in a maze, "No...no...no...."

And then his breath caught in his throat. The knob on his bedroom door rattled.....turned....and then opened. The door creaked slowly open. Dillon could hear it. Trying to keep as quiet as possible, he pushed himself as far back into the corner of his closet as he could.

A low garbled moan came from outside his closet door. It sounded like it was thick and full of liquid.....Mr. Miller! And then, the knob on his closet door turned!

As the door slowly opened, Dillon knew that he had to act now or that he was going to die.

"NOOOOOOOO!" he shrieked, pushing the door open with as much force as he could. He ran out, almost tripping over the body of Mr. Miller which was now lying on the floor. As he ran over him, he felt cold, dead fingers brush against his ankle, trying to grab at his foot. Luckily, Dillon had enough adrenaline pumping through his system that he was able to break free. Not looking back, Dillon ran out of the room.....and came face to face with the old woman.

With a low moan, she reached out toward him.

Until next week....class dismissed!

The Arm–Part 4

2011-08-07T18:47:00.001-07:00

Dillon held his breath. He was sure that he had heard something raking its way across his roof just a few minutes before. For a second, his mind had gone to the dark side....thinking that it was the dead arm that had followed him home. But that couldn’t be...could it? He had kicked that twitching madness back into the river. He couldn’t hear anything now. Maybe it had been a branch...or a bird....or....

“Please God,” he whispered, “Anything but that....anything but that....anything but that....”

Just then he jumped as a loud knocking sound came from the front door. His heart went into his mouth as he suddenly had a weird visual image of the arm propped up at his door, knocking and waiting for him to answer. But he knew that it just couldn’t be. Still, he slowly and carefully made his way into the living room and peeked out the side window.

With a sigh of relief, he saw that it was his neighbor, Tom Miller. Mr. Miller lived just down the road from them in an old farm house that he had once shared with his wife before she had run off with another man last year. Dillon had heard his mom and dad whispering about it when they thought he wasn’t listening. Apparently, it was the talk of the town. Dillon had felt bad for Mr. Miller. He was a pretty nice guy...for an adult. He often went fishing with Dillon and his dad.

Unlocking the door, Dillon opened it up.

“Hey there!” Mr. Miller said, stepping into the house, “Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to open the door to just anyone.”

Dillon laughed, “Yeah, but I saw you through the window.”

Mr. Miller just chuckled and nodded his head. The truth was that Dillon was just so glad to have someone else around. He had been having such a weird day that it was nice to have an adult around. It made the world seem to make a little more sense....or at least not be as scary.

“Well, I just came over to check on you. Your mom called me. She and your dad are going to be a little bit later coming home from the hospital,” Tom said, “She wanted me to check on you and make sure that you are okay.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dillon lied, trying not to jump at every little sound that the house made, “Thanks for coming over.”

“Well, I’m not going to stay....” Mr. Miller began.

“Can you though?” Dillon said, “Just until Mom and Dad get back? Mom said that I can microwave something for dinner. Want some spaghetti?”

Dillon hoped that he wasn’t sounding too needy. He just didn’t want to be alone in the house. What if it got dark and his mom and dad hadn’t made it back from the hospital yet? He didn’t want to be in the house alone after dark.

“Hey buddy,” Mr. Miller said, “It’s okay. I’ll stay here until your mom and dad get home. In fact, I’ll just use your phone and let them know. I’m sure they will feel better too! And that spaghetti sounds great....Boyardee?”

Dillon nodded and felt his blood pressure drop. Suddenly things didn’t seem like they were going to be so bad. He would just try to put the days events out of his head. The dead arm....the dead cat.....those things seemed like a dream now. He just wanted to forget them.

But they were there, his mind insisted. Still....there was something to be said about being home...and being safe.

He quickly made his way into the kitchen and popped open two cans of spaghetti. His mom wouldn’t let him actually use the stove while she was gone. But she didn’t mind him using the microwave. He carefully placed a sheet of paper towel over each bowl and set one of them into the microwave. They would be eating in a few minutes! And hopefully his mom and dad would be home sooner than they thought. He could hear Mr. Miller dialing the phone in the living room.

A few seconds later, he heard Mr. Miller jiggling the phone buttons.

“That’s strange,” Mr. Miller called out, “Your phone is dead. You are on the same line as me and mine was working just about 45 minutes ago. It’s not storming or anything. But it is dead as a doornail.”

The mention of the word dead left Dillon feeling cold and clammy. He tried to calm himself down.....it was probably nothing. Or maybe a druggie after a few feet of copper line. It had been done before. Still....he didn’t like not having a phone.

The buzzer sounded on the microwave and so he took out the first bowl that was now steaming hot and full of bubbling spaghetti. Placing the second one inside, he set the timer for 3 minutes and pressed start. The whirring of the microwave was comforting. It spoke of comfort....good food....and being safe.

Mr. Miller came into the kitchen, “I’m sure that the phone company is working on it. I just don’t know why it is dead.”

Dillon just shrugged.

“You know,” Tom continued, “Your mom might try to call here and won’t be able to get through. How about after we eat that we go back to my place and I can try to call your parents there. Or I can go by myself if you don’t want to come with me.”

“No, no!” Dillon said, “I don’t mind. I’ll go.”

Again he noticed the little bit of panic in his voice. But he didn’t want to be alone.

Dillon was setting the two bowls of spaghetti on the table while Mr. Miller washed his hands at the sink.

“That’s strange,” Tom said, “There’s someone walking around in your back yard. It’s some old woman!”

Dillon ran over to the window and peeked out. There was indeed some old woman in their back yard. She was shuffling around in what looked like an old house coat. Dillon saw that she didn’t have shoes on her feet. She had her back turned to then so he couldn’t see her face....but he started to feel uneasy. Something just wasn’t right.

“Stay here,” Mr. Miller said, “I’m going out there to see if she’s okay.”

Before Dillon could stop him....could say anything....Mr. Miller was out the door. Dillon watched as he marched across the back yard. He could hear him talking to the woman...asking her who she was and what she was doing here. The old woman didn’t act like she heard him. Finally, Mr. Miller reached the old woman’s side. He touched her arm.

Dillon wanted to scream out...NO! But nothing would come out of his mouth. Slowly the woman turned to face Mr. Miller.

She just stood there, staring at him like he was some creature from outer space with two heads. She didn’t say a thing. She just swayed from side to side.

Mr. Miller said something else, but Dillon couldn’t make it out. Finally, he turned back to the window from which Dillon was watching.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she needs help,” Mr. Miller said, “Go and check the phones. See if they are working again. We need to call....”

But he never got another word out. Suddenly the old woman lunged at Mr. Miller and sank her teeth into his throat. He fell down on the grass as the weight of the woman knocked into him.

Dillon watched in horror as Mr. Miller tried to knock her off. But she must have been stronger than she looked because she grabbed his hands and held him down. Blood spurted up into the air as she bit a large chunk from his throat. Dillon could hear Mr. Miller’s gurgled screams. And then the old woman was on him again....biting and chewing. Dillon watched as one of Mr. Miller’s legs twitched. He heard a high pitched whine and then suddenly realized it was him.....he was trying to scream, but the sound wasn’t coming out.

Running on pure instinct, he made his way over to the door and locked it. Dark flowers began to bloom in front of his eyes. Just as his fingers turned the lock, the dark flowers spread across his vision....and then he knew nothing. The bliss of unconsciousness took him.

Until next week....class dismissed!

The Arm–Part Three

2011-07-24T18:15:00.001-07:00

Dillon stared in horror as the dead cat continued to walk toward him. His brain keep screaming for him to run, but his feet were frozen to the road. Each of his legs felt like they weighed 100 pounds each. Why wasn't he running? Somehow he knew that if the cat got to him that it would bite him. And then what? He didn't want to think about it. He couldn't think about it.

The cat let out another yowl, its head twisting to the side with a grimace of pain. Blood flew from its nose and splattered on the pavement. Three more steps and it would be sinking its dead fangs into his leg. He began to shiver uncontrollably. And yet, his legs would still not move.

That cat was dead! he thought. How could it be moving? How could that arm from the river be moving? What in the world was going on?

Just then, a red pickup truck came blaring around the curve. It was speeding toward him but slowed to a halt just beside him. The window rolled down exposing a young man in his early 20's. A cloud of smoke poured out and the man peered out, bleary eyed and obviously drunk. Loud rock music was blasting from the speakers. Wasn't that AC/DC? Dillon could make out the sounds of Hell's Bells. His eyes never left the cat though. But it had stopped in its tracks.

"Wass wrong wif dat cat?" the man slurred, leaning out the window. The strong smell of beer and cigarettes floated out of his mouth like a toxic cloud. But Dillon didn't care. He had found his legs after all. He ran around to the back of the truck and hopped in. He had no idea who this guy was but he just wanted to get up off of the ground.

"Isss dat cat sick? Is it mad?" the man grunted. Dillon looked down, expecting the cat to be ready to pounce up on him. Instead, he saw something very strange.

The cat wasn't walking anymore. It was quivering all over like someone had stuck an electric wire to its head. In fact, its head was shaking more than the rest of its body.

"Raaaaawwwwwr!" the cat squalled, dropping to the road with violent convulsions.

"There's something wrong wif dat cat," the man said, "Is it yours?"

"No," Dillon said softly, his voice betraying him like his legs had earlier.

And then with a meaty, wet pop, the cat's head exploded. Brains and blood flew all over the pavement, painting it with red globs. It was a horrific landscape. And then it was over. The cat lay still. It appeared that it was dead again.

What does that even mean? Dillon thought. Dead is dead....isn't it?

The man, who had been staring at the whole thing in a daze of alcohol, seemed to sober up all of a sudden at the sight of the cat's exploding head.

"Hey man," he said, "That was some freaky stuff. What did you do to that cat?"

Dillon felt numb. He just wanted to get home. To get to someplace safe. He jumped out of the truck and ran down the road....away from the truck and the dead cat. The dead cat that had just been walking around and trying to bite him.

He heard the guy yelling at him to come back, but he didn't listen. He only had one thought. He had to get home. The guy stopped yelling. He heard the truck pull off with squealing tires. He didn't care. He just wanted to get home.

His lungs were burning in the rapid rise and fall of his chest. Screaming for air and for rest, they were the only part of him that felt like it was truly alive. The rest of him felt as dead and cold as the arm and the cat that he had just seen. But at least his legs were working now. He was almost home. It was just up ahead. In just a moment, he would be in his own house with his mom and his dad. At least, his dad should be home from work by now. It was getting late. And then everything would be okay. He wouldn't have to think about what had happened. He wouldn't have to talk about it. He could just pretend that it had never happened.

Sprinting the last few steps to his front door, he tried to turn the knob only to find it locked! For a moment, his heart skipped a beat and panic drove its icy talons into his brain. Then he remembered. His dad was going to take his mom to visit her brother, his Uncle Jeff, in the hospital. His parents had told him about it this morning.

"You are 13 now and old enough to take care of yourself for an hour or two," his mom had said at breakfast, "Just make yourself a sandwich and watch some tv or play that video game that you spend so much time on anymore."

"And don't make a mess," his dad had said with a smile as he had walked out the door to work, "And for God's sake, don't burn the place down."

Out in the open, Dillon felt alone.....exposed. He quickly bent down and pulled up the rug, exposing the key that his mom had left for him. Unlocking the door, he quickly ran inside, slamming it behind him. He locked it back and then took a deep, quivering breath. He was home. He was safe.

Just then, he heard it. Something was skittering across the roof. Something was on the roof! He could hear it on the metal. It sounded like something was dragging itself across. Dillon's heart stopped. It sounded like fingernails scratching across the roof. And that could only mean one thing!

Until next week....class dismissed!

The Arm–Part Two

2011-07-10T18:51:00.001-07:00

Dillon stared in horror at the arm that he had just pulled from the river. At first, he had thought that it was a fish. Then, he had assumed that it was a turtle since there was none of the usual thrashing that a fish would do. But instead, an arm....a human arm....had broken the surface of the water.

The first thing that Dillon thought was, “Where is the rest of the body?”

Then he thought, “Oh my God! There must be a dead body down there in the river somewhere.”

He had seen movies and shows on television about people being murdered, their dead bodies being dumped in out of the way places. But he had never thought that anything like that could happen in Breathitt County. He tried to think if anyone had gone missing lately. He couldn’t recall. But his mind was in overdrive at the moment. He had to get out of here and get help.

And then, the unthinkable began to happen. The arm began to twitch and move! Dillon let out a yelp of horror and leaped back. What in the world? Was he seeing things?

But no, there was no mistaking it. The arm was starting to move....starting to crawl. It slowly was turning toward him. Its fingers were digging into the soft sand of the creek bank as it clutched its way toward his feet. Dillon could hear the fingernails scraping in the dirt....brushing against rocks.

Without thinking anything except a sense of revulsion, Dillon started to run away. Then, he thought better. Turning, he took two steps toward the crawling dead flesh and gave it a mighty kick. The hand tried to snatch at his foot, but he was too quick for it. He connected solidly with the arm and sent it flying into the air. With a loud splash, it landed back in the water.

His heart was beating so loudly that his head was throbbing. He grabbed up his stuff except for his fishing pole. He didn’t want to ever touch that fishing pole again. Making his way into the undergrowth, he was once again enveloped in a rich, green world full of pollen. He ran. He was full of mad energy that charged his legs with one simple command....run! Faster and faster, he ran up the hill toward the road. He just wanted to get away from the horror that lay behind him.

With a loud cry, he burst from the weeds and almost ran into the path of an oncoming coal truck. With a yelp, he sprang back as the truck rumbled past with a loud honking of its horn. Even the threat of near death didn’t register immediately with Dillon. He kept replaying the scene over and over in his head. The arm....the dead human arm....it had been moving....crawling. He kept seeing it. He kept hearing it. It was coming toward him.

Had he only been seeing things? He didn’t want to stick around to find out. He began to run. His backpack was slapping wildly into his back as he ran. He could hear the rest of his Mountain Dew sloshing around in the bottle, but he didn’t care. His breath came in sharp rasps, but he kept up the mad pace...fueled by fear.

He ran back that way he had come when suddenly he stopped in the road. Something was moving in the weeds beside the road! For a second, he thought that it might be the arm....coming after him again. But he knew that it couldn’t be. He had kicked the thing into the river. It moved to slowly to get this far up the road ahead of him. It couldn’t be the arm. But he found that his feet wouldn’t move any closer to the rustling weeds. Something was tickling the back of his mind. He didn’t want to see what was there....but he had no choice.

Just at that moment, something broke free of the weeds and wandered shakily out into the road. As Dillon’s eyes grew wide, the creature let out a pitiful screech that once might have been a meow. It was the cat. The dead cat! But how could that be? One of its eyes was rolled back in its head and blood continued to trickle out of its nostrils. It moved slowly and with irregular jerks since its back was obviously broken. Of course, since it was dead, it shouldn’t be moving at all.

Dillon found that he couldn’t scream...couldn’t move. With another yowl that sounded like a demon screaming from the very depths of hell itself, the cat began to move toward him.

Until next week.....class dismissed!

The Arm–Part One

2011-07-01T18:11:00.001-07:00

Walking along the edge of the highway in the hot July heat, Dillon could see something laying in the road just up ahead. At first, he thought it was a dead fox or raccoon. However, as he drew closer, he saw that it was a dead cat. He couldn't help but stare at the dead creature.

The cat lay in a curled up position like it was asleep. Except for a thin trickle of blood coming out of one of its nostrils, you might never know that it was dead. Of course, what kind of cat would take a nap on a highway?

Dillon reached down and picked up a stick that was laying beside the road. Poking the cat gently, he nudged it off of the road and into the weeds. There was no use leaving it where some car could splatter its guts all over the place. He didn't want to take the time to bury it. It wasn't HIS cat after all. But he felt sorry for the little creature. It was black with white paws. It sort of reminded him of a cat that he used to have when he was a little boy. Hadn't he called it Boots? He couldn't remember.

Finishing the dreadful job, he continued on his way. He knew that the buzzards would take care of the unfortunate dead creature soon. They were all too efficient here in good old Breathitt County. He had often seen them circling overhead, on the lookout for their next meal. He shuddered. He didn't want to think about it.

And now he didn't have to. He had come to the bend in the road and there was the path that led down to the creek. It was just a little path and most people would have missed it if they didn't know what they were looking for. Hoisting his fishing pole and supplies up on his shoulder, he made his way down the steep bank and into the shadow of the trees.

Going down to the creek bank was like entering another world. The air was thicker....heavier. Bugs flew toward his face, threatening to choke him before he could make it to the bottom. His nose started to run as the pollen in the air settled into his nasal passages and tickled his throat. This was the worst part of going fishing. But then, up ahead, he could see the flowing stream. Troublesome Creek was sparkling in the sun like a jewel.

Breaking free of the heavy, thick air from under the trees, Dillon took two deep breaths of fresh, sweet air that was cooled by the moving waters. It was delicious to breath after being in the underbrush, even if he had only been in there for a few minutes. He always felt like he was going to suffocate in there. Would the buzzards come looking for him? But then, whenever he broke into the bright sunshine beside his fishing hole, it was like a rebirth. Every part of him rejoiced.

Opening his backpack, he took out a bottle of Mountain Dew. It wasn't ice cold like it had been earlier, but it was still cool. He opened it and took a long drink. It burned his throat but he liked the way that it burned. After his long walk, nothing tasted better. Belching loudly, he got his fishing gear ready for a long afternoon of relaxing and doing nothing.

Half an hour later, he was almost dozing in the afternoon sun. His fishing line was a lazy drifter in the slowly moving waters. All around him the world was buzzing and chirping. It was a sweet summer lullaby that was edging him closer and closer to sleep. In fact, he would have probably fallen asleep right then and there if his line hadn't suddenly moved.

"Fish!" he yelped excitedly, grabbing his fishing pole with a sturdier grip. With one swift tug upward, he felt his hook catch hold. This was the part that was always exciting for him on these fishing trips. He loved reeling in the struggling fish and then catching it for dinner. He hoped it was a big one!

Slowly at first and then quicker and quicker, he reeled in the fish. It must be a big one indeed. It was so heavy! In fact, he realized, it was too heavy to be a fish. It was probably a turtle from the feel of it. It wasn't even thrashing.

And then, it broke the surface of the water and Dillon froze.

It wasn't a fish. It wasn't a turtle.

Dillon was staring at a human arm.

Until next week.....class dismissed!

Summer Fun!

2011-06-26T20:20:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone. Sorry that I haven't written in a few weeks. It is summer, and our schedule is thrown completely off. Of course, having a two-year old in the house means that we don't have much of a predictable schedule anyway! HA!

Summer is a great time for some light reading. I have been doing quite a bit of reading lately...on my iPhone! I never thought that I would be one to really love reading eBooks on my iPhone...but I love it. For one thing, it is easy to read on my screen, even if it is small. I was quite surprised at that. However, the best thing is that I am able to purchase a book and have it delivered to me in a matter of seconds! I don't have to order a book through the mail or have to go to the bookstore. I can get my book instantly...and it is always with me. Lisa and I are totally addicted to our iPhones....we take them everywhere with us.

Speaking of ebooks, my children's book, Pumpkin Guts, Tater Eyes, and Other Tasty Treats, is now in iTunes and is available as a download in the Apple iBookstore. I know that a lot of people have been asking me if my books are available for download, and I can now answer that they are. My book, Dark and Bloody, will be available in the Apple iBookstore soon. If you have an iPod touch or an iPhone, you can download my books through the iBook app. Check it out! I would appreciate it!

Technology is a wonderful thing. But I am still amazed at how much it has been incorporated into our daily lives. I can't make it through the day without checking my email, Twitter account, and Facebook. And just what did we do without Facebook? I keep up with so many friends and family members through it. I love being able to know what is going on in their lives and sharing my experiences with them. It keeps everyone together even when they can't be physically together. It is a great thing. And with my iPhone, I can take Facebook with me wherever I go.

In other news, this was my very first year as a dad. It was great celebrating Father's Day. My dad and I were treated to a great dinner at Buckhorn Lake Lodge. It was a great buffet. All that I can say is that the soup beans were delicious. I don't know what they do to make them taste so good....and I don't want to know. It is probably bad for me. LOL!

This summer has been great so far. Lisa and I have enjoyed being able to spend so much time with our little boy, Jacob. He is our little alarm clock. It doesn't matter what time we put him to bed.....he is awake at 7 AM. I swear he is better than any clock. That might be a good thing if the electricity goes out! LOL! He can wake us up!

We took Jacob to Virginia Beach a few weeks ago and he just loved it. He had never seen the ocean before, and the look on his face was priceless. It wasn't the "sleep in a beach recliner" sort of vacation that I am used to. It was more of the "play in the sand, splash in the ocean, repeat 100 times" sort of vacation. But it was great. I love having Jacob in our lives. He is our joy.

Whenever people see us with Jacob, they always go on about what a lucky little boy he is to have Lisa and me as parents. What we don't tell them is that WE are the lucky ones. We have been blessed to have this sweet little boy brought into our lives. After 19 years of marriage, we were more than ready to be parents! I've always been a late bloomer though! HA!

I have been working on my next book. I hope to have it finished by the end of summer. Writing is a strange thing. Sometimes the words flow from my fingers like water. Sometimes, it is a drought! But I love writing and it will always be a part of my life. I am just glad that I am able to write this article for the paper and that you all are able to share this experience with me.

I hope that everyone is having a terrific summer. Get out and do something fun with your friends and family. Summer doesn't last forever you know! Emily Dickinson wrote,

To see the Summer Sky
Is Poetry, though never in a Book it lie -
True Poems flee.

So get out and splash in the water and play in the sun! Summer is fleeting! Until next week...class dismissed!

Pumpkin Guts is now available on iTunes and in the iBookStore

2011-06-19T09:38:00.001-07:00

Starting this month, my book, Pumpkin Guts, Tater Eyes, and Other Tasty Treats, is available as an ebook download on iTunes and the iBookstore. It can be purchased and downloaded to your computer, iPhone, or iPod touch. Look for it in the iBookstore or iTunes today! Thanks!

Jacob’s Birthday Party

2011-02-13T10:42:00.001-08:00

On Tuesday, February 15th, our little boy Jacob turned two years old. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday though so that everyone could come and help share in our little boy's special day. It was a day of firsts for all of us!

First of all, it was Jacob's first real birthday party. The previous year, he was in the hospital and was getting ready to go into the orphanage. The poor little guy didn't have any celebration. He was just being taken from what was familiar to him and put into a big house full of other kids. It must have been a very scary time for him. I know that he was very young at the time...just turning one year old. I only hope that he doesn't remember any of that traumatic time and only knows happy days from here on out.

Second of all, it was our first birthday party together as a family. Lisa and I had spent many years going to other birthday parties for kids...but we had never had the chance to have a birthday party for our own child. All of that changed on Saturday though.

Ever since Jacob has been in the United States, he has been fascinated with Sesame Street. He loves to read Sesame Street books, he loves to play with Sesame Street toys, and he loves to watch Sesame Street on television. His favorite video is Learning About Letters....starring Big Bird and all the other Sesame Street gang. We sometimes watch it about 5 times a day! I only hope that some of that knowledge is sinking in! Ha!

Needless to say, the theme for the day was Sesame Street. We had all the Sesame Street decorations....balloons, paper plates, napkins, party hats, and horns. We even had a Sesame Street cake! Jacob was in hog-heaven! He loved everything so much and was so excited. He seemed to know that this day was a special day...just for him.

All of the people in Jacob's life came to celebrate the day with him. He had his mommy and daddy, Gramaw and Papaw Fugate, Mamaw Wagoner, Great Uncle Junior, Great Aunt Minerva and cousin Katie, and his "Aunt" Corrinna, "Uncle" Rod, and "cousin" Hailey. As you know, Lisa and I are both only children. Therefore, Jacob has an honorary aunt, uncle, and cousin.

We had such a great day. The menu was wonderful thanks to my wife. We had baked ham, homemade potato salad, green beans, grilled chicken, hash brown casserole, and rolls. Of course, we had birthday cake and ice cream also. We had been practicing singing the "Happy Birthday" song to Jacob so that he wouldn't be scared. Everything went very well. He even blew out his big number 2 candle!

After eating, it was time for presents. The child already had so many toys that his toy box wouldn't close. I don't know what he will do now! He got cars, trucks, a jack in the box, a toy laptop computer, crayons, coloring books, books to read, and tons of other toys. He got so many Little People! His Aunt Corrinna and Uncle Rod and cousin Hailey got him a Little People's Noah's Ark! He loves it! He now has just about everything Little People that I can think of...but I am sure that we will find something else for him. LOL! So maybe we are spoiling him just a little....but he deserves to be spoiled. And after all of these years of waiting for a child of our own....I guess that Lisa and I can go a little overboard if we want to!

Finally, this was a birthday of firsts because Jacob got to have his first sleep-over. His Aunt Corrinna, Uncle Rod, and cousin Hailey spent the night. Jacob and Hailey hit it off big time! They loved playing with all of Jacob's new toys. They also loved chasing each other through the house! It was so good to hear them giggling and screaming with joy. After so many years with a big, quiet house, it is nice to have it filled with the sounds of kids having fun.

In all, I think that Jacob's first birthday party went very well. Now, all of the decorations are down and all of the food is eaten. But we still have those special memories. Oh...and we still have that what is left of that big number 2 birthday candle. We are going to keep it forever...because even though it was his second birthday, it was also his first.

Until next week....class dismissed!

Jacob Loves Water Parks

2011-02-13T10:40:00.001-08:00

We took Jacob to Pirates Cove in Sheperdsville….just outside of Lousiville. He loved it! The water park was inside a hotel and was very nice. It wasn’t too big and had lots of “kiddie” stuff for him. We will definitely go to this one again. We can’t wait to get him to Beech Bend Park this summer!

Russian Beef Borscht

2011-01-31T06:59:00.001-08:00

When Lisa and I were in Russia, we got to experience a lot of the Russian culture. For example, we got to see a lot of Russian art and visit some great historical places. We were able to see one of the actual boats built by Peter the Great. That was really amazing.

However, when I am visiting another culture, I really enjoy trying the different foods. While in Russia, Olga (our translator) took us to several nice restaurants. Of course, I could have just ordered something "safe" such as just a salad. But I really wanted to get a taste of some traditional Russian cuisine.

I tried many different kinds of soup, including a great fish soup. I also tried medallions of beef with a cheese sauce that was just heavenly. Lisa didn't like it at all though! One thing that both of us did like was a wonderful beef and beet soup called borscht. It was so good that I had it quite a few times while we were in Russia. It is a traditional Russian dish, and I have been fortunate to get a great recipe for it directly from Olga. She loves to make borscht. She said that it was a great soup to make on a snowy day. Plus...she said that it tastes even better on the second day!

Borscht, which is sometimes also spelled borsch and borshch, is a lovely vegetable soup that is almost always made with beets. The use of beets in this soup lend the dish a vibrant red color. There are some versions of borscht made with without beets. There is an orange borscht, which is made with tomatoes, and a green borscht, which has a sorrel base. However, beet borscht is the most common form of this soup. That is the kind that Olga taught me to make.

We have been home from Russia for over a month now, and I decided to make some borscht the other day. Let me tell you....it was very difficult to find beets! I finally found some fresh beets at Foodcity in Hazard.

Since the soup has a beef base, I started by cooking a chuck roast in the crockpot overnight. I put it on low and let it simmer all night long. The next morning, the roast was so tender that it was falling apart! The broth was a beautiful, bubbling golden brown. It looked delicious already!

The other ingredients for the soup include a lot of root vegetables including beets, carrots, cabbage, turnips, and onions. You also flavor it with tomato puree, salt, pepper, and bay leaves. I let it simmer slowly all day long. The entire house smelled heavenly! I invited my mom and dad around to eat some borscht with Lisa, Jacob, and me. I have to say that we all really enjoyed this little taste of Russia....right here in Breathitt County.

If you would like to experience some borscht for yourself and your family, I am including the authentic recipe...right from Olga herself.

Russian Borscht

2 lbs. beef tenderloin or sirloin steak, cut up
5 to 6 c. water
1 tbsp. salt
1 1/2 c. shredded beets
3/4 c. shredded carrots
2 turnips, finely chopped
1 med. onion
2 tbsp. tomato puree
2 tbsp. vinegar
1 tsp. sugar
2 tbsp. butter
1/2 sm. head cabbage, shredded
Ground black pepper
2 bay leaves
1 c. sour cream

Simmer the beef in salted water until tender. Like I said, I cooked a chuck roast overnight in the crockpot....and it was great! Meanwhile, in large saucepan, simmer the beets, carrots, turnips, onion, tomato puree, vinegar, sugar and butter for 15 minutes. Stir frequently and cover when not stirring. Add cabbage and cook 10 minutes longer. Add the vegetable mixture, pepper and bay leaves to the meat and the broth. Adjust seasonings, cook until tender. Add more vinegar if desired. Before serving, add sour cream to taste. It is also good when you sprinkle some croutons on top before serving. Yum!

Like Olga said, it IS better on the second day. All the flavors seem to meld together. Also, it freezes well if you have any left over. Enjoy!

Until next week....class dismissed!

Pics from LBJ Shower

2011-01-21T11:02:00.001-08:00

LBJ Showers the Fugate Family with Love

2011-01-21T10:53:00.001-08:00

On Thursday, November 20th, the school where I work, LBJ Elementary, held a “shower of gifts and love” for us. When we walked into the school everyone was so warm and welcoming. They just loved little Jacob. And Jacob loved being the center of attention.

After making a few introductions to Mr. Combs, Mr. Wooton, Mrs. Bush, Mrs. Vicki, and Ms. Spencer, we traveled on down the hall to the library where the shower would be held.

There were piles of presents and a mountain of cards to open…but first, everyone had some food. And talk about food! There were tons of it!

We all enjoyed the pizza, chips, dip, bread, finger sandwiches, cookies, sweets, meatballs, and fruit. There was even a beautiful cake. The cake had a teddy bear made of icing on it. The teddy bear even had Jacob’s name on it. It was so wonderful!

After eating, we started opening presents. My coworkers and friends at LBJ were so generous. We received clothes, clothes, and more clothes. Jacob also got a ton of toys including puzzles, shape sorters, electronic books, a basketball game, stuffed animals, a wire and bead puzzle, and even a huge wagon…with a cover on it! Jacob also received other gifts and a pile of gift cards.

Lisa and I want to thank everyone at LBJ Elementary who showed their love and support. This adoption has been a long road, but the destination was worth the journey!

A family is like a puzzle. When Lisa and I met 19 years ago, we knew that we were meant to be together. We fit together perfectly. We had the same interests and we loved being with each other. That love has held true and strong all of these years.

However, as we began putting the pieces of our life puzzle together, we found that there was a piece missing. Instead of worrying about that piece too much at first, we just built our puzzle around the missing piece. However, we finally came to realize that our picture would never be complete….our family would not be truly complete…without a child.

Now, we have Jacob in our lives….and guess what? He is the perfect fit in our life puzzle. He was truly made for us…and we were made for him. It was a perfect match! We love Jacob more than anything in this world and are truly blessed to have him in our lives.

Our puzzle is finally complete.

What Time Is It in Yaroslavl?

2010-11-12T06:30:00.001-08:00

Turn…turn…turn….

2010-10-31T17:27:00.001-07:00

If you looked up autumn in the dictionary, there would be a picture of today beside of it. I can honestly say that today was the perfect autumn day. It wasn't too warm....but not too chilly. It was sunny. The leaves were blowing around in the breeze. The air was vibrating with the slowing energy of the year. Nature is winding down for a long sleep. And we, as a people, can feel that as we continue on through the days.

Today, Lisa and I cleaned around the house. We cleaned up old leaves. We cut brush. We moved old limbs and cut back old plants. We also cleaned out our flowerbeds and got everything ready for the upcoming winter season. It felt good being outside in the sunshine. I was very thankful for the warm weather because I know that soon it will be bitterly cold outside.

The year is like a wheel. It turns. Just like the year, we turn. We grow.

October is now just memory to us. The golden days are getting fewer and fewer as we move toward winter. The frosty nights fill us with anticipation about the upcoming holiday season. The white ghosts and skeletons have danced away for another year. In their place, we have the bounty of the fields such as squash, corn, and pumpkins on display. Paper turkeys are up in the schools. Everyone is thinking about the upcoming feast of Thanksgiving.

As we get closer to this next holiday, continue putting away the things of the past. This can be literal. For example, put away those lighter clothes for the heavier clothes and coats needed for winter. Burn off the gardens (when appropriate of course...don't break any laws!). Clean and oil the tools of summer and store them for winter.

You can also do this figuratively. Get rid of old negative relationships that are poison in your life. Rid yourself of negative habits. Banish bad energy from your life. As I like to say sometimes, "I banish all negative thoughts and people into the swirling void." I know it sounds silly, but I am stating aloud my intentions of getting rid of negativity in my life. It isn't healthy to keep these things around.

Right now, think of 5 things for which you are thankful. It can be people in your life....your job....your health. It can be anything for which you are truly thankful. For the upcoming Thanksgiving holidays, collect something that reminds you of these things. If you are thankful for someone special in your life, find a nice picture of this person to display. If you are thankful for your health, get some fresh flowers to put around the house. Remind yourself each day that we all have so many things for which we can be thankful.

I want to leave you this week with something that I found.

An Iroquois Prayer of Thanksgiving

We return thanks to our mother, the earth, with sustains us. We return thanks to the rivers and streams,which supply us with water. We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines for the cure of our diseases. We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters, the beans and squash, which give us life. We return thanks to the bushes and trees, which provide us with fruit. We return thanks to the wind, which, moving the air, has banished diseases. We return thanks to the moon and the stars, which have given us their light when the sun was gone. We return thanks to our grandfather, He who has given to us his rain. We return thanks to the sun, that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye. Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit, in whom is embodied all goodness, and who directs all things for the good of his children.

Until next week....class dismissed!

Wooly Worms and Winter!

2010-10-03T17:09:00.001-07:00

Today it actually was chilly the entire day. It was such a change from the warm day that we had just yesterday. It is amazing how things can change so quickly. It is like that in our lives also. We just have to be prepared for change...no matter where it comes from.

The Breathitt County Heritage Fair was held this past weekend. I hope that everyone had a chance to get out and enjoy it. My wife Lisa and I set up a little yard sale this past Saturday. It was cold when we were setting up early that morning! I was glad that I had gloves and a hat! It warmed up nicely when the sun came up though. Thanks to everyone who stopped by our little sale. It was a very good day. We even had some time to enjoy the Heritage Fair. I saw some cool clogging while we were there.

My wife and I still haven't heard anything about our adoption. Hopefully we will get the call sometime this month. I hope that we can have this done by the end of the year. It is just so hard to wait for something that you want so much! I will keep you all posted about any new updates. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I love seeing all the pumpkins at the roadside stands. I want to purchase a couple for our front porch. It is almost time for my favorite holiday...Halloween! I love everything about it....candy, warm popcorn, costumes, and carving jack o' lanterns. I appreciate that there are new, safer ways to have the same effect with plastic pumpkins and flickering battery-powered lights, but I am an old-fashioned kind of boy when it comes to jack o' lanterns. I love cutting open the pumpkin, scooping out the guts, carving a scary face, and placing a lit candle inside it. This totem of the season always puts me in a great mood. It is a great way to scare away the doldrums and bring about a terrific holiday season that lasts all the way through the new year.

Speaking of chilly weather, Lisa and I had to turn on our heat today! It was very chilly in the house, and Lisa's feet get cold really fast. She finally broke down and turned up the heat. It is very toasty right now.

We went around and visited with Mom and Dad. They had us around for dinner. My mom makes the best meatloaf in the world, and she knows that we can't resist it! LOL! While we were there, we were trying to remember if we had seen any wooly worms this year. We were trying to see what kind of winter we are going to have this year. The darker the worm, the worse the winter. Mom said that she thought she had seen a white one! Does that mean that we are going to have a mild winter? I don't know.

So how do you predict the coming winter with wooly worms? Here is one way to do it:

1. Look for wooly worms under rocks and inside hollow logs.

2. Examine the wooly worm, paying attention to its bands of colors. The wooly worm will curl into a ball when touched or threatened. When they crawl, they can crawl very quickly!

3. Wooly worm forecasters say that the size of the brown band of color will tell you what kind of winter is coming. Legend says that the thinner the brownish red bands, the harsher the winter will be. If the wooly worm is mostly brownish red in the middle, winter will be mild.

4. Wooly worm enthusiasts claim an 85 percent success rate over the last few decades. Scientists tend to disagree and say wooly worm weather prediction is as unscientific as using groundhogs to predict winter weather. The groundhogs likely side with the wooly worms.

So, whether or not you believe in the power of wooly worms, they can be a fun project for children and adults. I don't know what kind of winter we will have here in Breathitt County, but you can go out and look for some wooly worms of your own. Enjoy!

Until next time....class dismissed!

When Sweet Potatoes Rule the World!

2010-09-26T11:35:00.001-07:00

Well, it is official. We are in the fall season. If I couldn't tell it by the falling leaves, roadside pumpkins, and country fairs, I could tell it this morning when I walked outside. The air was actually chilly! It felt like real sweatshirt season! In fact, Lisa suggested that we make a big ol' pot of homemade chili. We are doing that right now as I type this and are having Mom and Dad around for dinner. There is nothing like a pot of chili with cheddar cheese and crackers on a chilly fall day.

Everyone is starting to get the last of their garden stuff in right about now. Mom and Dad dug their sweet potatoes this week. They knew that their sweet potatoes had grown well, but they were shocked when they started digging them. These are some of the biggest ones that I have ever seen in my life! They had me bring my scale around so that we could weigh them. Some of them weighed over 7 pounds each!

Dad said that these are the biggest sweet potatoes that he has ever grown. I could tell that they were proud of them. They should be! They always can a lot of their sweet potatoes to eat on during the winter months. They should get a lot of cannings out of this crop. Mom said that she would probably can about 63 cans of sweet potatoes. Now....just bring on the butter and brown sugar! LOL!

Speaking of food, Lisa and I just got home from a birthday party weekend with our friends Rod and Corrinna Middleton. The Middletons live in Morehead. They were throwing a birthday bash for their daughter Hailey and her cousin Hunter. Hailey turned 6 and Hunter was 7. There was tons of food at the party....hotdogs, deviled eggs, pizza, baked beans, chips, fruit, homemade fruit dip, and (of course) cake and ice cream. There were 4 different types of birthday cake including white, chocolate, red velvet and funfetti! I had to try all 4 types....LOL!

To help work off some of the calories, the families had rented out the swimming complex at Morehead State University. It was nice having the big, Olympic-sized pool all to ourselves. Several of the partiers enjoyed the diving pool as well. We all had a great time.

The party was a great way to end a great week. Earlier in the week I had been interviewed for the television program, From These Hills, which airs on WYMT out of Hazard. This entertaining news program highlights the people and places of Eastern Kentucky. I was honored to be on the show for my work as a Kentucky author. I was showcasing my newest book, Dark and Bloody. If you haven't been able to get a copy, check out my website at www.alonzofugate.com. It is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I am also starting to take orders here at home. Just check out my website for details.

Well, the chili is just about done. It has filled the home with the scents of the season. There is nothing like the smell of home cooking to make you feel at ease. Maybe you should put the paper down and go make something homemade? Just a thought!

Until next time....class dismissed!

The Coming of Fall

2010-09-12T19:49:00.001-07:00

You can feel it in the air at night. That brisk kiss of frost that whispers in our ears that autumn has arrived. The air doesn’t have that sensuous feel of summer anymore, and we know that the days will continue to grow shorter and shorter as we progress even further into the dark side of the year. Like everything else, the year is growing old.

Earlier this evening, I sat on my front porch and marveled at the sights and sounds of nature all around me. The sun was slanting through the trees like a stream of liquid gold. As it brushed against the leaves, it painted them with its brilliance and reminded me that soon the leaves will have a brilliant color all their own. This is when Mother Nature puts on some of her finery for a fashion show that has the rest of the world in awe. Everyone else tries to mimic it, but you can’t beat the original.

I also noticed that the world has taken on the slow gentle pulse of a watch that is winding down. Everything seems to be going at a much slower pace. By now, most of the crops have been gathered. The last remaining bounty of fields could possibly be the bright orange pumpkins and other fall squash that are appearing in the stores and at roadside stands.

This winding down is one thing that I love about autumn. Nature is a smart woman. She is telling each of us…in her own subtle way...to slow down and take a look at the world around us. In this age of everything on demand, people are often impatient and want everything yesterday. We have fast food, fast cars, and even drive-in churches (I saw one at Daytona Beach!). Why not slow down for a while and actually live your life instead of letting your life get out of control? The world isn’t going to end if you stop for just a second to breath in some of that crisp autumn air and enjoy a cup of warm cocoa or apple cider.

The Earth knows that now is the time to stop and rest. Through this rest, there is renewal. We as human beings can’t just stop living. However, we can slow down and reflect on our lives and the direction that we are taking. Perhaps we have strayed from the path upon which we intended. Maybe this is a good thing…maybe not. At least we need to consider our life choices and the consequences that we are facing. If we don’t like them, we can change them. However, if we don’t reflect…we can’t change.

Take some time to enjoy the season. Heat some cider. Bake some cookies. Pick a pumpkin. Plant some mums. Whatever you do…enjoy life. It is the only one you have.

Here is a recipe for Autumn Cider. I love it and have enjoyed it for years. This is an old family recipe that I now pass on to you! Enjoy it with my blessings!

Spiced Autumn Cider

Ingredients

· one gallon apple cider

· one cup orange juice

· one lemon, thinly sliced

· 4 cinnamon sticks

· 2 whole cloves

· 1 teaspoon allspice

1. Place all of the ingredients in a sauce pan. Cover pan and bring to a low boil. Reduce heat and simmer for at least 15 minutes.

2. Strain into a large bowl and enjoy! You can also strain this and then put it in a crock pot to keep it warm throughout the day.

3. Sit outside in the cool, crisp air. Inhale deeply over your cup of hot cider. Drink!

With Childlike Wonder

2010-08-29T19:16:00.001-07:00

Family and friends are the most important parts of anyone’s life. It doesn’t matter how rich you are or how poor you are. It doesn’t matter if you have had a terrible day…or week. It doesn’t matter what type of clothes you wear or if you drive the latest car. What really matters are your family and friends.

This past weekend, Lisa and I had the chance to spend some time with our friends, Rod and Corrinna Middleton and their daughter Hailey. Rod is the director of the Fish Hatchery at Cave Run Lake and does an excellent job. Corrinna works for the Dept. of Water and Sewage. Hailey is just entering the first grade….and it seems like only yesterday when she was born!

We spent the weekend together doing what we do best….namely shopping and eating…LOL! Lisa and I went to visit them at the Fish Hatchery on Friday night. We played on the trampoline with Hailey and also played ball and with the Frisbee. It was a great afternoon to be outdoors. Later on, the grownups had some time to play cards. We love to play Canasta…a popular card game from the 1940s! We are just keeping traditions alive and well! HA!

The next morning, we all woke up early and got ready for our day of fun in Lexington. Of course, the drive there was easy thanks to the wonderful built-in DVD player in the Toyota Sienna. I’ll be the first one to admit that I love these vehicles. It will come in very handy when we get Jacob! There is tons of room and with the built-in entertainment center….they are very child-friendly!

Once we were in Lexington, we took some time to shop a little. What is trip to Lexington without a little shopping? I’ll admit that I didn’t really need anything. I ended up purchasing two cool t-shirts. One of them was a Goonies shirt from that 1980s movie. I loved that movie when I was young…and I still watch it today, thanks to the magic of DVD. The other one was a Sesame Street shirt. I’m a huge Muppets nut…as some of you know already! LOL!

Finally though, we headed to Rupp Arena for the main attraction of the day…the Ringling Bros. and Barnum Bailey Circus. We had all been looking forward to taking Hailey to the circus. She was very excited to see all the animals and clowns. Plus, I have to admit, I was very excited to see the circus because I had never been to a BIG circus like this before. It took up the whole floor at Rupp!

The show was amazing. There were all sorts of trained animal acts. We saw dancing elephants, trained tigers, and prancing zebras! There were cool dog tricks and neat ponies and horses. One elephant even painted a picture! Hailey loved all the animal acts.

The rest of the circus was indeed magical. There were several acts of illusion throughout the show. For instance, they were cutting people in half, turning clowns into tigers, and even making elephants disappear! I thought that the way that they incorporated a magic show into the circus was a great idea. Zing Zang Zoom were the magic words that transported the entire audience into a fantasy world for two solid hours. I can see why they call it the Greatest Show on Earth.

One of the scariest parts of the circus for me was the trained tiger act. I’m sure that this man was a trained professional, but those tigers were snarling and clawing at him like crazy! I just knew that we were going to experience one of those “moments when it all went bad.” I could picture myself on the news saying “I saw the whole thing. It was awful!” But…the man looked danger right in the face and went on with the show.

It was great being at the circus with Hailey. Lisa and I are looking forward to being able to take Jacob to the circus next year. We are still planning on hopefully getting to travel to Russia for the first time sometime in September. Keep praying for us! We appreciate all of the positive words and comments from everyone. Your love and support is much appreciated!

Looking back on this weekend, I can honestly say that I had a great time. I hope that everyone was able to take some time this past week to enjoy time with their family or friends. I want to end this article by wishing my mom and dad a happy 43rd anniversary! They celebrated it on Monday, August 30th. We took them out to eat at Long John Silver’s (their favorite place to eat!). Then we had some ice cream and cake and gave them their presents. They are the best parents anyone could ever ask for! I love you Mom and Dad!

Until next week….class dismissed!

Making Changes

2010-08-22T13:34:00.001-07:00

Lisa and I have been in the process of adopting for….well, it seems like forever, but in truth it has been for around 3 years. As most of you know, we were originally in the Vietnam program, but it shut down and still hasn’t reopened. We stayed in the program for a while but got frustrated at the slow progress and switched to the Russian program

The Russian program has moved a lot faster. In the past several months, we have completed our home visit from social workers, completed all paperwork, and have been fingerprinted by the Homeland Security office to get our approval for international adoption. All of our paperwork is in Russia now and we have even been assigned a region. We will be adopting from Yaroslavl. It is about 150 miles north of Moscow.

All we are waiting on now is our phone call from the agency, Children’s Hope International, informing us of our referral. That will give us about a week’s time to get everything ready and travel to Russia. Believe me…we are more than ready!

On our first trip to Russia, we will finally get to meet our child at the orphanage. We will get to visit for 3 or 4 days while we are there. During this time, we can feed and play with him. We can also help with changing diapers and other things. Of course, we will have our own medical examination of him and will be in contact with the good people at UK. They have an international adoption medical unit and will be able to give us advice on the adoption.

At the end of the week, we will decide whether or not to complete the adoption. Our agency has informed us that they have excellent records of couples accepting their first referral. I have all the faith in the world that everything will work out for us as well. If we agree to complete the adoption, we will sign the paperwork and then travel back to the USA while everything goes through the courts.

When it is time for us to go before the judge in Russia, they will call us. At that time, we will have about 2 or 3 days to get back to Russia and have our appearance in court. According to our agency and other people who have adopted, the process in court takes about 2 hours. When the judge approves the adoption, we will have to wait 10 days until we can legally pick up our child from the orphanage. We will stay in Russia during this time. We can visit the orphanage during our wait, thankfully.

After we pick him up from the orphanage, we will have to spend more time in Russia getting his paperwork together so that he can leave the country. We will also have to get him a passport and visit the American Embassy in Russia. Finally, we will get to come home. Of course, we will need a little time at home to start bonding before we rush back into work and such.

Most people have kids and take it for granted that this is something that is just naturally going to happen. For those of us who can’t…for whatever reason…the process is a little bit more than just letting nature take its course. There are piles of paperwork, late nights of worrying that everything is going okay, and then having to travel halfway around the world to pick up our child. However, it is a process that will be more than worth it in the end.

I know that there is a long way to go still on this journey to complete our family. However, can I dare say that I see the light at the end of tunnel? We are expecting a phone call at any time. In fact, we are hoping to complete this adoption by the end of the year.

I will keep you all informed as we continue along this path. Please keep us in your thoughts!

Until next week…class dismissed!

Hatfield Reunion 2010

2010-08-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

Me in front of the John Deere tractor used for the hay ride.

Lisa and me

Me with my long lost "sister" Carey Moore! LOL!

Summer wouldn't be summer without family reunions. This summer, I once again had the honor of attending the Hatfield reunion with my wife Lisa. It was even better this year because we were able to take my mother-in-law Janet with us. Janet was originally a Hatfield, if you were wondering how a Fugate got invited into the clan! LOL!

On a hot and sunny Friday morning, we all loaded into the van. The good people at Nim Henson Geriatric Center even packed up all of Janet's medicines that she would need for the weekend. They are just really good people!

Off we headed to Yatesville Lake in Louisa. The Hatfields always rent out all of the cabins at Creekside Cabins and RV Park. It is a great location to relax and unwind. There are 8 cabins that get rented out. Plus there is lots of room for the rest of the family who like to bring their RVs.

When we arrived, we saw the familiar "big tent" that they rent for the weekend. This year, the family also rented several of the inflatable rides that are very popular right now. As we got closer, I saw that they had rented an obstacle course, water slide, and one where two people try to knock each other off a pedestal with large padded javelins. These were mainly meant for the kids...but the adults enjoyed them also. This was especially true late at night when jousting contests took place! LOL!

We quickly unloaded the van and made ourselves at home. We hadn't seen most of these people in a year, since last year's reunion. However, thanks to Facebook, we have been keeping up with each other a little better. What did we ever do before Facebook? It is truly a wonderful thing...especially if you use it to keep in contact with people who live in other counties or states.

The first night, we had the annual auction which helps to raise money for the reunion. Yours truly was once again chosen to be auctioneer. I am not complaining though. I love it.

We had a great dinner of traditional summer foods....hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, etc. Then, everyone piled onto stacks of hay pulled by an antique John Deere tractor for a hayride around the community. I wonder what people thought when they saw all of us riding through their neighborhood. Of course, I had on my lovely straw hat that my "long long sister" Carey Moore had given me. We are so much alike! We decided over the span of the weekend that we are surely brother and sister who got accidentally separated at birth...LOL!

After dinner, we held the Hatfield Summer Olympics. Everyone was broken into teams and competed in events such as a three-legged race, water balloon toss, and relay race. It was a great time, and everyone seemed to have a lot of fun competing in the events. There were events for both adults and children.

The next day was hillbilly day. I wore my bib overalls just for the occasion. It was a great day and everyone enjoyed talking and catching up with each other. Lisa and I were so proud of Janet because she was able to walk up and down the steps of our cabin by herself. She did a great job! Everyone loved having Janet at the reunion this year.

Lisa spent a lot of the day cooking for big dinner that night. She made cornbread salad, overnight salad, oatmeal raisin cake, and a black walnut cake. She also made a homemade butter cream icing for both of the cakes. They were so good!

Speaking of food, everyone at the Hatfield reunion loved to eat. We had tons of food...smoked meats, barbeque, salads, green beans, breads, casseroles, and loads of other foods too numerous to list here. The tables were groaning with food...for a little while at least. Then...we were all groaning because we had eaten too much!

That night, the evening's entertainment was the Hatfield Family Hee Haw. Carey was the ringleader of the show, appearing as Minnie Pearl...complete with hat and tag! She had recruited several of us to be in the show, including me! I was....get ready for it...none other than Dolly Parton! It was a hoot! I wasn't too sure if I was going to get into that dress at first or not! It was a little tight...probably from all that delicious food from earlier in the day. They really stuffed me "up top" also, if you know what I mean. It was all in good fun though.

Other family members dressed up as various characters such as Ike and Tina Turner, Brittany Spears, Madonna, Elvis, Sonny and Cher, and Hank Williams Jr. It was a good show. We all laughed so hard. I think that it is wonderful to be able to let your hair down every once in a while. In my case, it was a long blonde wig! LOL!

Everyone sat around afterwards just talking and enjoying each other's company. I felt so good just to be a part of this family's reunion. As an only child, I didn't have a large family. Growing up, we didn't really get together a lot with other family members either. It felt really good to be a part of this great group of people. Who knew when I was marrying a wonderful woman like Lisa that I was getting a bonus as well?

The next day, we loaded up the van. It was a bittersweet time because we had had such a great time and now it was time to head back to the "real" world. After lots of hugs, handshakes, and slaps on the back, we started back home. I really had a great time at this year's Hatfield reunion. Lisa and Janet said that they did as well. Now....the countdown to next year begins.

Until next week...class dismissed.

Janet Wagoner...Strong and Determined!

2010-08-01T19:36:00.001-07:00

Janet (third from left in pink shirt) with wonderful workers at
the Nim Henson Geriatric Center in Jackson, KY.

Once I heard the expression "Life is a bowl of cherries...and this is the pits!" Of course, everyone knows that life is not always going to be smooth sailing. Hopefully we have more better days than bad, but we have to be prepared to weather the storms of life when they come around. Nobody does this better than my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law, Janet Wagoner, is one of the bravest and most determined people that I know. She has been through a lot in her life, but she doesn't let it keep her down. She keeps on fighting and keeps on growing as a person. She is an inspiration to me because she doesn't quit. In fact, I don't think that quitting is a word that she has in her vocabulary.

I met Janet about 20 years ago when my wife, Lisa, and I began dating. Lisa had invited me to dinner, and I thought that Janet was trying to be fancy because she had baked a turkey...and it wasn't even Thanksgiving! When I was growing up, we only got turkey at Christmas! I was very impressed. Of course, now I know that it is perfectly acceptable to eat turkey all year long if you wish! Ha! But at the time, Janet made a very favorable impression on me with her choice of food. I also remember her potato salad being the best ever!

Through the years, our family has had good times and bad. When Lisa's dad, Dillard, passed away, it was a very hard time for all of us. Janet was still living in Morehead, KY at the time, but she decided that it would be best to move to Breathitt County to be closer to Lisa and me. It was great having Janet live with us for a while. Of course, she didn't want to be living with a couple of rowdy school teachers (you know how wild we can be..LOL!) so she made another decision to move into an apartment in town.

She applied for and got a little apartment in Kings Ridge Apartments behind True Value. She loved living on her own again, and it was easy for Lisa and me to stop in and see her during the week after school. Through her years of living there, she made many friends. However, her health did start to deteriorate after a many years.

Janet had always had trouble walking on one of her feet. It would drag on the floor, and she would have trouble keeping her balance. But the worst thing was when she started to fall. She fell a few times in her apartment and couldn't get back up. Lisa and I would go and help her. Eventually, we all knew that she would no longer be able to live in her apartment. She needed full-time medical care. Luckily, there is a place for that right here in Jackson.

The Nim Henson Geriatric Center is a nursing home located on Jetts Drive in Jackson, KY. Janet has been living there for one and a half years now. During this time, it was discovered that she had "water on the brain" and had to have a surgery to help remove it. After the surgery, the doctors told her that her balance and strength would return with time and therapy.

A lot of people may not realize what a wonderful facility the Nim Henson Geriatric Center is for our community and people in need. Every time that Lisa and I are visiting Janet, we see people working hard....cleaning, caring for patients, decorating, etc. The home is very clean! I am very impressed with the cleaning crew. I always see someone cleaning!

Janet loves it there. It is her home, and she has made so many new friends. She told Lisa and me that she is as close to most of the workers now as she is to her own sisters and brothers!

At first, she was a little reluctant to take therapy. However, over time, the physical therapists at the nursing home were able to get her to build up her strength. When she first went into the home, she could barely lift her legs while she was lying down in bed. With lots of encouragement and work on the part of her physical therapists, Janet began to see results.

I am so proud to say that my mother-in-law was able to go from only being able to move around in a wheel-chair to being able to walk! At first, it was just a few steps on the balance bars. This built up to steps on a walker. Now, she is even able to take some steps with a cane!

Janet's goal was to walk around the track between the nursing home and SMS. With the help of the talented workers and therapists at the Nim Henson Geriatric Center, she achieved her goal. She was able to walk around the track. More importantly, she was able to build up enough strength so that she was able to go with Lisa and me to the Hatfield reunion for a few days this summer! We had a blast! She amazed everyone at the reunion with her newfound walking ability. She even got an award that said "I can walk up the steps and I don't need a wheelchair." She has it on the wall in her room.

All of this wouldn't have been possible if it hadn't been for the caring, talented folks at the Nim Henson Geriatric Center. They all deserve a pat on the back! They go above and beyond for all of their patients.

This also wouldn't have been possible if it hadn't been for the inner drive and determination of my great mother-in-law, Janet Wagoner. She could have just quit and not done anything when she moved into the nursing home. But she isn't like that. She is a winner. That fire and spirit that I admire has gotten her up and about...and it will keep her up and about! We love you Janet. Keep up the good work!

Just remember everyone...even when things seem their darkest and most dire....get back up and keep trying. Don't ever quit.

Until next week....class dismissed!

WLEX and Harrodsburg Festival of Books and Arts

2010-06-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a weekend! As you all know, I have been busy promoting my newest book, Dark and Bloody. It is a collection of horror/suspense stories set in Kentucky. Most of them are set right here in Eastern Kentucky. I was able to continue my promotions over the weekend.

On Friday, June 25th, I was invited to WLEX - 18 in Lexington, KY to talk about my book on their 12:30 news program. Chris Goodman and Nicole Pence, who anchor the show, made me feel more than welcome as they interviewed me about my book. They were both so nice, I didn't feel nervous at all. In fact, as some of you know, this was my third appearance at the station. They are very supportive of the area and of the arts. I really do appreciate that!

On Saturday, June 26th, I traveled to Harrodsburg, Kentucky for their first annual Festival of Books and Arts. Over 60 authors and artists from all over Kentucky traveled to Harrodsburg that day for the fair. I was honored to be one of those invited, along with others such as Ed McClanahan and Ruth Fogel. I was able to showcase all three of my books: Nose Pickin', Pumpkin Guts, and my newest, Dark and Bloody.

It was a hot day on Saturday, but the event was amazing. There were so many great authors and artists who were showing their work. We took up all of Main Street in Harrodsburg! LOL! There was a large stage set up for presentations throughout the day. I really enjoyed the excerpts from Seussical, the Musical by the Ragged Edge Community Theatre.

One thing that I noticed was that Harrodsburg really supports their local art community. They are very supportive of their authors and artists. Events such as this one will help them continue this support.

My invitation to the fair began last year when I attended the Kentucky Book Fair in Frankfort. I met some wonderful authors and illustrators while I was there. One of them was a man by the name of Tony Sexton who was at the event to promote his book, Scraps, which is a collection of poems that he had written over the years. We introduced each other and exchanged contact information. We still keep in touch with each other online. What did we ever do before email and Facebook? LOL!

Anyway, it turns out that he is an organizer of a Harrodsburg writers group. He started working with Elaine Hammonds who is the executive director of Harrodsburg First. Working with her and others in the community, they developed the idea for the book and arts fair. Although this was the first year, I am sure that it will continue to grow. I look forward to attending next year!

In all, it was a great weekend. I was able to meet lots of new authors and see some old friends as well. In fact, I was so pleased to run into Paula Sparrow once again. I had met her at the Kentucky Book Fair as well. She is a writer for Kentucky Living magazine. Her book, Creature Comforts, is a collection of stories about people who care for and rescue animals throughout Kentucky. She is a great writer and her book is just lovely. If you get a chance, you need to get a copy of her book.

Tired but happy, Lisa and I returned home on Sunday morning. We had a great weekend seeing some wonderful sights and meeting some fantastic people. However, as the old saying goes, there is no place like home. I was so happy to be back home here in wonderful Breathitt County!

Until next week....class dismissed!

Anniversary Wishes

2010-05-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Lisa and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. Lisa is such an incredible woman that the time has just flown by. I love her now just as much (if not more) than when we first got married. Her mom, Janet, only gave us 6 months! LOL! I think that the secret to our marriage is that we are both only children. We just let each other get their way and everything is fine.

For our anniversary, we traveled to Louisville to see a wonderful musical called Wicked. It is a retelling of the story of the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz. According to the musical, she wasn't really wicked at all...just misunderstood and a victim of politics. Since this is election month, it makes you wonder if there might be some of that going on around here in Breathitt County! LOL!

Lisa and I both love musicals. The music and acting in Wicked did NOT disappoint. We had seen it last year at the same place, The Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts. The atmosphere is great. We stopped off for some preshow refreshments and cabaret music. It was so nice to sit and relax. Lisa loves to people watch...and there were some very interesting characters parading around. Some people even dressed up in witch hats and black dresses! I was just lost in the music. It was great.

We had great seats for the production. We were about 14 rows back in the lower orchestra level which is just right if you ask me. You aren't too close...and you aren't too far away. I like a seat right in the middle. The actors were wonderful. Some of the music just gave me chill bumps up my spine and onto my scalp. Lisa told me that they did the same for her! I thought it was just me! LOL!

After the show, we went back to our hotel. We stayed at the Galt House which was just around the corner. It was such a nice night that we were able to just walk around the corner. It was so close. There are certain advantages to being in a large city. Namely...everything is so close!

Earlier in the day, we had walked down on the riverfront and had eaten at Joe's Crab Shack. We had never eaten there. Since we both love seafood, we decided to give it a try. The food was really good. The casual atmosphere made us both feel at ease. I had the fish, shrimp, and scallops. Lisa had a fish and shrimp basket. Both of us enjoyed our meals. The waitress found out it was our anniversary and made me wear a knight's hat and shield while Lisa waved a "magic wand." While patrons sang "Happy Anniversary," I had to kiss my princess. It was embarrassing but fun! LOL!

Walking back to the hotel after our meal, we passed the Belle of Louisville, a large steamboat. We have already planned on going back this summer for a trip down the river. It looked like everyone was having a great time with drinks, food, and live music. The band was playing some really lively ragtime music that was just fantastic.

On our weekend trip, we also took some time to shop. We went shopping for clothes. We also spent a lot of time in one of my favorite stores, Best Buy. It is amazing at how much technology is changing each day.

As our weekend came to a close, we made our way back home. On the way though, we stopped off at Natural Bridge and ate lunch at the Hemlock Lodge. The lunch buffet was great. We had salad, soup beans, chicken, fish, turkey, and a variety of vegetables. The best part was the blackberry cobbler with ice cream! I feel like I gained about 20 pounds with just that one meal. If you go to Natural Bridge this summer, stop in and eat there. The food is amazing!!!

Lisa and I said that this should be our last childfree anniversary. Our adoption paperwork is in Russia at the moment. Thankfully, there has not been a shutdown of Russian adoptions. I know that it was reported in the news that adoptions had shut down thanks to that stupid woman in Tennessee. However, our adoption agency is still going strong! Lisa and I hope to have our referral in the next few months. After 18 years of just us, we are ready to expand our family. I think that we are ready for children now. Somehow, it just feels like it is time to start.

I love Lisa so much. Next year, maybe we will have Jacob to help us celebrate our anniversary. It may not be filled with musicals, big dinners, and a lot of travel...but it will be filled with love.

Until next week, class dismissed.

Be Proud of Who You Are!

2010-05-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

Do this...don't do that. Eat this...don't eat that. Wear this...don't wear that. It seems like as a society, we just love being told what NOT to do. Everyday there is an article or a television show that is screaming at us that we are living our lives completely wrong. Obviously, we should all be wearing the latest designer clothing, eating the latest trendy foods, and working out 300 hours a day so that we can all be underwear models. Unfortunately, nobody can live up to these expectations. How does that make you feel?

The world is made up of all kinds of people. We have tall people and short people. There are fat people and skinny people. There are people who dress up every day and people who think that t-shirts are the highest fashion. And really, that is what makes this world such a great and interesting place.

Growing up in Eastern Kentucky, I've been entrenched in Appalachian culture my entire life. The sad truth is that I didn't really appreciate it. I tried to be like the people that I saw on television because that is what I considered to be "normal." I tried to mold my actions and even my speech patterns after them. I considered their ways of life to be something for which I should strive.

Television and the internet has brought a wealth of information into Appalachian society. That is a good thing. I'm not knocking it in any way. I'm a firm believer that more information is better and that we should all work toward becoming more and more knowledgeable about our world. What is sad is that our true Appalachian culture is disappearing.

In a world of iPods, iPads, wireless this, and hotspot that...we are becoming a global society. We share information and ideas with the world. The mountains used to shelter us and also kept us isolated. It had good points and bad. Mainly, the bad was that we were usually about 20 years behind everyone else in just about everything...lol! And old joke, but there was some truth in it, I'm afraid. What was good is that it kept our culture and ideals alive and well.

Now, there isn't that much strength in a local identity anymore. Just as I strived to become more like what I saw on television, others are working toward an identity that is more globally acceptable. We have gained a lot with technology...but it wasn't for free. We have given up a lot as well. When this is gone, unfortunately, it is gone for good.

Since our world is ever-changing and the impact of technology is growing each day, we here in Appalachia may feel that all is doomed. In some ways, this may be true. Nobody can travel back in time...at least not yet. Nobody can bring the past into the present. However, we don't have to feel that everything has to be lost. We can still flavor our lives with the spice of our ancestors. We can keep our cultural palettes alive by knowing that there is nothing wrong with just being ourselves.

Don't be ashamed to be yourself. Don't be ashamed to keep your family traditions alive. Don't be ashamed if your idea of a perfect life doesn't match what you are being feed by the mass media. Nobody knows you better than you do. Nobody can tell you how you are supposed to live.

It seems like the media loves to portray the image of the dumb, lazy hillbilly. When we think of Appalachia, what images come to mind? If we only getting our information from mass media, we may think of barefoot hillbillies who live in shanty houses with junk and trash all around. We may think of high poverty and ignorance. All of these are very negative images that get the high ratings that television stations love.

However, if we take another look at Appalachia, we may see things in another light. We can see people who are honest, friendly, hard-working, and independent. We see a love for family. We see a love for community. All of these are very positive images. Unfortunately, we don't see these images much in the modern media because they don't get those high ratings.

So I guess that what I'm trying to say is never be ashamed of where you come from or how you live. Every person is a valuable member of this world. We each have something to contribute. Nobody should ever feel that they are less important than anyone else on this planet. And as a culture, we should be proud of our Appalachian heritage. It may be shrinking as we become more of a global society, but we can bring the positive influences along with us. That can our gift to the world.

Take a moment today to be proud of who you are. Be proud of what you have accomplished in this life. And take a moment to consider just how much more you have to offer. You are important. You matter. Smile with that knowledge. And if you want to run barefoot through the grass on a warm spring day...well, then do it. After all, it IS one of life's little pleasures!

Until next week....class dismissed.

Powell County Reading Celebration

2010-03-29T16:32:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that when you start reading a really good book, the characters and events in the story seem to come to life for you. On Saturday, March 27th, book literally came to life at the 2nd annual Powell County Reading Celebration. This county wide celebration held at Clay City Elementary was a way for everyone in the county to get together and celebrate reading.

As a local author, I was invited to attend the event. I knew that it was going to be pretty cool to talk and interact with the kids at the schools in Powell County. However, I was not prepared for the amazing events that I saw! It all started when my wife Lisa and I arrived in Clay City. Immediately we could tell that this night was going to be a really big deal because we started seeing people holding signs that stated "Parking for Literacy Celebration." We hadn't even arrived at Clay City Elementary yet!

Arriving at the school, we unloaded the van and heading inside. I could see that this event was going to be a very big deal. The door was decorated to look like one was attending a major event...the Academy Awards! There were two large golden Oscars beside the door. The door itself was framed with silver and gold. The sign read "Where Books Come to Life." Things were getting more and more exciting!

Once inside, I saw that the events of the night would include more than just author signings. The rooms of the school had been turned into literacy showcases! Students and teachers from around the county had worked extremely hard to create performances based on literary works. For example, there were rooms where people could enter and view student performances of Dr. Seuss classics, Where the Wild Things Are, and even scenes from the Little House series. I was very impressed.

During the evening, other events were happening as well. There were book project scavenger hunts where students competed for prizes. There were rooms set aside as living wax museums where students were dressed as characters from their favorite books. There were prizes given away to the county's top Accelerated Reader students from each school. There was even a free dinner for everyone who attended.

Each student who attended the event was given a free t-shirt that proclaimed the joys of literacy. In addition, each student was given a free book. I thought that this was just simply amazing. Looking around at all of the people, you could see the joy and excitement on their faces. Everyone was so thrilled to be celebrating the joy of reading.

In some of the rooms, performances were being given by professionals performers. There were storytellers, artists, and Native American life performers. I also had the good fortune to meet and speak with Joe Bowen. While talking with him, I learned that he had walked all the way across the United States on stilts...once. He had ridden a bike across the United States...twice! Wow! I was in shock! That was simply amazing.

Taking my place with the other authors in the library, I was awed at the mass of people who traveled through the library. I spoke to so many wonderful parents, students, teachers, and community members that evening during my visit. I sold many of my books. It is always such a joy to me to get my books into the hands of people who love to read. Thanks to all the people who took time to speak with me and to look at my work. I do truly appreciate it.

I was able to showcase my newest book, Dark and Bloody, at this event. I used a nice foam board poster of my book to draw attention to it. It seemed to do the trick because several people were interested in it. I think that the fact that it is a book of short, scary stories helped. I also think that many people appreciated the fact that all of the stories are set in Kentucky...most of them right here in Eastern Kentucky.

I also had copies of my two children's poetry books, Nose Pickin' (and 50 Other Ways to Tickle Your Brain!) and Pumpkin Guts. I was thrilled to get these books into the hands of these excited kids.

At the end of the night, my wife and I packed up. We were pleased to receive a t-shirt as well. I will wear it with pride! The evening had been magical. How wonderful to just stop for a moment and celebrate reading. Reading is so important in all of our lives. It is vital that we express the importance of reading to our children. The Powell County Reading Celebration had done that.

I want to thank all of the nice people who invited me and made my wife and I feel at home. It was a very nice event. I look forward to attending next year.

If anyone wants a personally autographed copy of any of my books, please see my website (www.alonzofugate.com). You can also get them from Barnes and Noble and Amazon. In addition, Showtime Video in Jackson has some autographed copies of my latest book, Dark and Bloody, for sale. Showtime Video is a great place to eat and to get a great tan. My wife and I tan there all the time! Maybe I will see you there!

Until next week....class dismissed!

Warm Days and Elk Horns

2010-03-07T19:40:00.001-08:00

Wow...what a beautiful weekend! It seems that Nature has decided to shine upon us for a while at least and give us the gift of warmer weather. Lisa and I went outside for our walk today instead of just walking on the treadmill. We walk up Little Buckhorn on a two-mile trek that we scoped out. It is a nice little walk and it allows us to actually talk to each other while we walk. This is different than the treadmill also. Usually then, Lisa just cranks up her iPod while I watch television. Usually I try to catch up on shows that I have recorded...like Brothers and Sisters. It is a great show but it comes on too late on Sunday night for me! That's a school night...and I'm in bed by then!

I spent most of this weekend giving my latest book Dark and Bloody the final edit. Now, I just have to give my publishers the final okay and it will be available...everywhere. Yes...I will have copies available soon. But the best place to purchase my books...just like most everything these days...is the internet. Don't you just love modern technology?

In adoption news, Lisa and I have all of our paperwork notarized and finalized! We are heading to the office of the Secretary of State tomorrow to hand deliver them. They have to be apostilled by the state of Kentucky. This just means that the state is saying the court system here in Breathitt County was able to verify our notary. Whew! Lots of paperwork! But after this last thing, we can send it to our adoption agency (Children's Hope International). They will send it to Russia and we will get assigned to a region. Russia is big country you know! We will keep you all informed!

This weekend, I was feeling a little down with the sniffles. So instead of going out, we stayed home. In a way, this was a good thing. Lisa and I had stopped off at Kemper Furniture on the way home last Friday and bought a new mattress set. It wasn't supposed to be delivered until Wednesday or Thursday, but they ended up delivering it on Saturday. What a treat! It sleeps so well! I didn't realize how poor our old mattress was until we got this new one. Kemper Furniture is a great place to shop for furniture!

On Saturday, while I took a nap and tried to get well, Lisa baked a cake. It was an oatmeal coconut cake and was very good! We ended up inviting my mom and dad around to share in the cake. My dad said that he was bringing something for me to see as well. It turned out that he was bringing us an elk horn that he had found! This thing is HUGE!

I was in shock when I saw it. We took some pics of it and posted it to my Facebook page. Dad gave it to us because he said that it would look good in our log home. I agree! LOL! We are thinking about getting it professionally mounted.

I will leave you this week with a pic of the elk horn. Enjoy! Remember, you can visit my webpage at www.alonzofugate.com. I am also on Facebook. You can email me at alfugate@yahoo.com.

Until next week...class dismissed!

LBJ Elementary Wins District Championship in Governor's Cup Academic Competition!

2010-02-28T19:29:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 27th, started out cold and dreary. However, the snow couldn't chill the spirits of several young minds from around the county. They knew that the 2010 District Governor's Cup was going to be held at LBJ Elementary that day. This was their chance to show off their academic prowess....and show the world just how powerful the mind can be!

Although starting with a delay due to the weather, soon students, parents, and other involved community members converged upon LBJ Elementary for the academic competition. Contest manager, Henrietta Sheffel (FRC director from Breathitt High School) used her expertise in academics to start the match on time. Soon students from LBJ Elementary, Highland-Turner Elementary, Rousseau, and Jackson City School were taking tests in the areas of math, science, social studies, language arts, and arts and humanities. Students had competed in composition and future problem solving earlier in the week.

After a morning of testing, students competed in quick recall, which is a game-show like competition where students try to beat other students by "buzzing in" first and answering questions. It was an exciting day that saw many ups and downs for everyone involved.

At the end of a long day, the LBJ Elementary academic team, coached by Alonzo Fugate, was pleased with the following results:

· Composition - Abi Thomas, 3rd place; Adrianna Coomer, 4th place; Ashlee Gross, 5th place

· Math - John Wyatt Hall, 5th place

· Science - Jacob Collins and John Wyatt Hall, tied for 3rd place

· Social Studies - Logan Back, 1st place; Katie Bowling, 4th place

· Language Arts - Adrianna Coomer, 1st place; Zach Rice, 2nd place; Abi Thomas, 5th place

· Arts and Humanities - Zach Eiserman, 1st place; Kelsie Dalton, 2nd place

· Quick Recall team - 3rd place

· Future Problem Solving Team (Katie Bowling, Rachel Miller, Zach Rice, and Rebecca Watts) - 1st place!

The final scores for the day were broken down as follows:

· LBJ Elementary - 48.5 points

· Highland-Turner Elementary - 36 points

· Jackson City School - 35.5 points

· Rousseau Elementary - 3 points

LBJ Elementary was excited and pleased to win the District Championship. Students, parents, and others were cheering and clapping as each student received their medals and ribbons. A championship trophy was won for the school trophy case and is being displayed with pride in the front office of LBJ Elementary.

Coach Alonzo Fugate stated, "I am so pleased and so proud. These students have worked so hard all year long, and they deserve this win. It takes a lot of hard work to be on the academic team. It was good to see that hard work pay off. It was because of their dedication and the dedication of their parents and teachers that these students can proudly call themselves academic champions."

Coach Fugate continued, "Although I am the coach, there are so many more people involved in making a winning team. First and foremost are the parents. In particular, I had lots of great support from Amy Baker and Janice Hall with practices this year. Next, I want to thank all the teachers for their work in helping to prepare these students in class. I also want to thank LBJ's principal Ron Combs for all of his support this year. He has been wonderful. Finally, I want to thank Superintendent Arch Turner and the Breathitt County School Board for all of their support and encouragement. Without them, we wouldn't have such great schools and great students."

The team will now prepare for the Regional Governor's Cup which will be held at Buckhorn Elementary on Tuesday, March 16th for composition and Future Problem Solving and Saturday, March 20th for all other categories. But as Coach Fugate added, "No matter what, these kids are already champions in my book."

Update on the Adoption

2010-02-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! Sorry that I haven't written in a few weeks, but the snow days get me in a daze! Fortunately, today was nice and sunny. It almost felt like a spring day! I walked around to Mom and Dad's house and saw that the Easter lilies (flags) were already coming up. I can't wait to see those nice yellow flowers in bloom. Hopefully they won't be covered up in snow.

We have missed so many snow days this year in the Breathitt County school system. If I am not mistaken, it is right at 26 days. That is a lot! We work hard in the school system to get the students ready for the world and testing. We will just have to be more vigilant in the coming weeks. Hopefully they will move the testing window back a few weeks as well.

One good thing about the snowy days is that it forced me to stay inside and work on my writing. I finished up my next book. It is called Dark and Bloody and is a collection of horror/suspense stories that are set in Kentucky. Most of them are set right here in Eastern Kentucky! I got the title from the nickname that Kentucky had when settlers arrived....a dark and bloody ground. It should be out in the next month or so. I will debut it at the Harrodsburg Book Festival.

In case you have been wondering, YES, Lisa and I are still adopting. We have been working on this adoption for over 2 years now. At first, we were planning on adopting from Vietnam. Unfortunately, Vietnam shut down all of their adoptions. We were going to stick it out, but after 1 year on the list, it didn't look like we were going anywhere.

Finally, a few months ago, we decided to switch to the Russian program. It was meant to be. I got on the website of our adoption agency, Children's Hope International, and saw that they were desperate for people in the Russian adoption program. We talked it over and decided that we just couldn't wait on Vietnam anymore.

So now, we are officially in the Russian program. We have all of our paperwork together. We just have to get it notarized and then we are all set to send it off to our adoption agency. They will have it transferred to Russian and sent to Russia. After that, we wait to be matched with a child. We requested a little boy as young as possible. We still have his name on the nursery door, Jacob. We still have all the stuff...two cribs, clothes, toys, changing table, high chair, stroller, bibs, rattles, etc! We just need the baby.

From the looks of things, we should be expecting a match sometime around August or September of this year. After that, we will take our first trip to Russia to meet the child and approve the adoption. Then, we come back to the United States for a couple of months. We then return to Russia for two or three weeks to finalize the adoption. I can't wait to get him home! The hardest part will be meeting him and then having to come back home for those two months!

I will keep everyone updated on the process of our adoption. Hopefully we will have him home in time for Halloween. I want to take him trick or treating!

I'm not sure how our little dog Sassy will take the adoption. She is our baby right now and is spoiled rotten. I'm sure that she won't like having to share lap time with a baby. She will have a panic attack! But she is really good with kids once she gets used to them. I am sure that she will come to love Jacob as well. I don't worry about our other dog Sadie. She loves all kids!

I guess that I will close for now. I will post a picture of my current baby....Sassy.

Sassy

2010-02-22T19:11:00.000-08:00

Of Snakes and Earthquakes...Helping Haiti

2010-01-18T09:28:00.000-08:00

How we deal with the challenges in this world helps to determine what kind of person we are. When everything is going along as expected, life is easy. We can breeze through our days without so much as a second thought. For a while, most of us can get away with that. The universe, though, has a way of setting everything into balance.

When I was young, we didn't have indoor plumbing. One of the realities of this was that I would have to help my parents pack water from a little stream around the hill from our house. I would walk through the woods on a little path that ran from our house to the stream.

Now, I knew that path really well because we packed a LOT of water. I would just wander through the woods, hopping on rocks and kicking leaves, because I had done it several times before. I didn't really think about any hidden dangers.

Well, one day, we were walking around to get some water, and I was doing my usual "I'm playing in the woods and not paying attention" dance. All of a sudden the biggest snake I had ever seen in my life darted out from between some rocks that I was standing on. It may have been the shock of seeing that snake unexpectedly or it may have been that I was just a kid...but that snake looked like it was big enough to swallow me whole! This was years before that Anaconda movie!

So what happened? Did I give up and run crying back home? Did I just freeze on that rock and not move? Well...yeah, I froze for a second or two. And then, I realized that the woods weren't that safe to just be mindlessly wandering around in. There are hidden dangers! Now truth be told, that snake was probably more afraid of me than I was of it. But, it did make me more aware of the dangers in the woods. I was more aware of my surroundings.

But...I knew that we had to get water. I couldn't just quit. I had to keep going. So, I did. I was just more careful. Now did this mean that I was never careless anymore? Of course not! Human nature is weird that way. We get careless. It is almost like we need that "snake in the woods" to come into our lives every now and then to scare us back on the right path....doesn't it?

Right now, there is a major catastrophe going on in Haiti. The earthquake that happened on January 12th has left hundreds of thousands of people dead and even more injured. People are homeless. People do not have the basic necessities of life such as food, water, clothing, or medical care. This is a true tragedy...a world tragedy.

Now some people might say that we shouldn't even bother helping Haiti. Their government is corrupt and the money that is flowing over there will probably end up in the pockets of government officials. Other people might ask the question, "What did Haiti ever do for us?" It is true that Haiti seems like a small, insignificant country that we can choose to ignore if we wish. It doesn't have power and influence in the world economy.

Other people might point out that we shouldn't be bothering with Haiti right now because we have problems of our own right here in America. Don't we have poverty? Don't we have homelessness? Don't we have people who can't afford medical care? If we have all of these things here in America, why bother with Haiti? Let's take care of our own.

But...let's think again. These are people....people (whether some in our world want to acknowledge it or not) who are just like us. They are people who had lives. They are people who had families. They are people who had plans for the future.

A child crying over her lost parents doesn't care about race. She doesn't care about politics. She sure doesn't care about the world economy. But if a warm blanket and some clean water can help in some small way, shouldn't we try to get her that? In comparison, I'm sure that she would rather have her parents back and not have to rely on world charity...but the reality of things makes that an impossibility. The world happens. We can choose to react...or we can remain frozen in place.

I would hope that we, as a human race, can overlook country borders....can overlook race.....can overlook politics. These things seem to just muddy the waters of common sense and common decency. When people are hurting, we should do what we can to help. Does this mean that we are forgetting our own problems at home? No....it does not. What it does mean is that we are broadening our view of humanity. What makes us different from the beasts of the field is our ability to have compassion for our fellow man. We need to do what we can...however small it may be...to help in any way that we can.

Just like that snake in the woods that made me stop and think, this earthquake has brought (once again) a sense of chaos to the world. Things aren't always going to go as expected. Yes...sometimes there are monsters underneath the bed! But we can work together to help bring a little order to the world. We can do what we just know....deep down inside...is the right thing to do. And we don't need celebrities on television to tell us this. We don't need anyone telling us what to do in this situation. We already know what to do. And hopefully we are doing it.

Until next week...class dismissed!

Holiday Travels

2010-01-10T09:50:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! Sorry that I haven't had an article in a few weeks. Time is a slippery substance that has a way of flowing away if you don't keep careful track of it! If we aren't careful, we can just hop into our little boats that we've built for ourselves and just flow right on through life without really noticing! How scary is that?

It has been a wild couple of months for the wife and I. Not ones to let moss grow under our feet, we have been busy traveling to different places in the world. Over Thanksgiving, we took a Carnival Cruise down to Key West, FL and to the Bahamas. If you have been reading this little article of mine in years past, you know that Lisa and I love to travel during Thanksgiving. It is a great time to travel because we are off from school and travel is surprisingly cheap during this time. This year, we didn't fly anywhere because airfare prices suddenly went sky high...pardon the pun! A cruise was an affordable alternative. Plus...we had never gone on a cruise, so it was a new experience for us.

Arriving at the port, we were so excited to see our ship, the Carnival Fascination. I was surprised at the amount of security that we had to go through to get onboard the ship. It was almost as tight as the security at the airports! After about an hour in line, we got our Sign and Sail cards and boarded the ship. In case you have never cruised before, the ship is a totally cash free environment. Almost everything (meals, most drinks, entertainment, room, etc.) is included in the cost of the cruise. However, if you want to purchase anything extra (massages, specialty drinks, bingo tickets, etc.) then you don't use cash. Instead, you use your Sign and Sail card which is tied electronically to a credit or debit card. This same card is also the key to your room and can also be used to open and lock the safe that is in your room. It is a truly amazing thing. I never had to worry about packing any cash on me while I was on the ship.

Our room on the ship was very nice. I was picturing a small, cramped space. However, our room was a lot larger than I expected. It was an outside room, meaning we had a window that looked out onto the ocean while we were cruising. That was very nice. It had a king sized bed, flat panel television, small table, chair, dresser with large mirror, lots of closet and drawer space, and a small bathroom with shower. I was very impressed with the large size of the room. I read somewhere that the rooms on the Carnival ships were a little larger than on other ships. I haven't sailed on any other ships, so I can't personally make a judgment on that. However, I can say the rooms on the ship were nice.

Speaking of size, the Carnival Fascination was HUGE! This 12-story ship had just about everything that one could imagine. It was like a floating resort. In addition to rooms for over 2,0000 guests, it had several amenities such as a mini-golf park, walking track, two swimming pools, three hot tubs, water slide, casino, dance clubs, lounges, piano bar, coffee shops, sushi bar, theater for live shows, two dining rooms, pool grill, and informal buffet. The grand atrium in the middle of the ship was breathtaking! Several stories of open space was filled with twinkling lights and glass elevators that whisked you to different floors on the ship. Piano music filled the air with joyous sounds as Lisa and I marveled at the true beauty and splendor of this space.

If you have ever heard people talk about cruising before, you have probably heard them talk about the food! And I have to say...the food was simply amazing! An overeater's dream, the ship featured food that was available 24 hours a day. There was the informal buffet that was open from morning to night, a 24 hour pizzeria, 24 hour ice cream machine, 24 hour deli, sushi bar, coffee shops, and a pool grill that served food all day long. There were also two formal dining rooms were you could be waited on hand and foot. They would bring you anything on the menu...and as much of it as you wanted. For example, one night I ordered the lobster and prime rib. It was so good that I ordered another one. I know....I know....I shouldn't have. But it was vacation. Of course, I'm paying for all that now! Back to the old diet! LOL! I can't leave this little talk about food though without mentioning that there was also 24 hour room service available. They would literally bring the food to you if you didn't want to go to the food. I'm surprised that they didn't offer to chew it for you!

We were never bored on the ship. There were so many things to do. We played bingo, exercised in the gym, watched great live shows, went to comedy clubs and discos, and just lounged by the pool. It was a great way to spend the days on the ship. On one day, we stopped off at Key West, Florida and spent the day in the shops there. The next day was spent in the hot sunshine of the Bahamas. Like all travel, this trip was a truly educational experience. I love to experience different cultures and just exist in the moment. It was great.

Of course, we weren't done with our holiday travels. Over Christmas break, we traveled back to Florida with our friends, Rod and Corrinna Middleton who live in Morehead, KY. Now, we love their 5 year old daughter Hailey just like she was our own. With that said, sometimes it is nice to get away and have a nice "adults only" vacation.

We traveled further south on this trip...all the way to the Fort Lauderdale/ Hollywood Beach area of Florida. We were just 20 minutes north of Miami. The weather was a little chilly a couple of mornings, but nothing like the cold snap that we are experiencing now! One day, it was a nice, hot 87 degrees! That was a great day to lay in the sand on the beach and listen to the ocean waves.

One event that I will never forget during this trip was an airboat ride into the Everglades. I had only seen airboats on television before, so I had visions of fat, sweaty men swirling us around in a gator-filled swamp while swarms of mosquitoes sucked the life from my body. However, it wasn't anything like that...except for the gators. And they were actually quite passive. The captain of our little excursion pulled us up right alongside a sleeping gator and let us get "up close and personal" with the creature. It was so cool to be able to almost reach out and touch the scaly skin of this amazing reptile. Of course, I may be dumb...but momma didn't raise any fools! LOL!

Now that we are back at home, it is nice to enjoy the comforts of domestic life once again. There is nothing like traveling around the world to make you appreciate just what you already have. I always say that we live in the best place on earth right here in Eastern Kentucky...and I am right! I have seen many places in this world, and I have seen where a lot of people call home! Believe me...home is where you make it!!! And I will always be happy to call Breathitt County, Kentucky my home.

Until next week, class dismissed!

The 28th Annual Kentucky Book Fair!

2009-11-08T19:15:00.000-08:00

I Love the Smell of Fresh Ink in the Morning

On Saturday, November 7th, I had the honor of being one of the authors at this year's Kentucky Book Fair. Held in Frankfort, KY at the Convention Center, this was the 28th year of this great homage to Kentucky literature. It is great that authors and artists have a venue such as this in order to showcase their work. Of course, it benefits libraries throughout the state because several grants to public and school libraries are funded by the Kentucky Book Fair.

Arriving at the Convention Center bright and early Saturday morning, I was at least confident in where I would be sitting. My wife, Lisa, had helped me drop off my books on the previous day. I knew that they would be waiting for me...my children of words. Okay...I don't want to get too overdramatic. But then again, I'm an author...so I guess that I am entitled to a little bit of melodrama. Anyway, I walked confidently into the place where I would be spending my day and tried to look like I knew what I was doing.

I was the first to arrive at my table. Already there were people starting to wander about, looking at books and checking their personal shopping lists. I wondered if I was on any of those lists. I sat down and took out my favorite book-signing pen. I was all prepared.

Within minutes, I was joined by my first table-mate. I felt at ease when I saw a friendly face and warm, welcoming smile. Her name was Anne Shelby, and she was quick to point out that we were going to become friends whether we wanted to or not...considering the close quarters and all. We introduced ourselves to each other. It was as though we had known each other all of our lives. We got along so well together. I guess it was the sense of common backgrounds. Her husband is Edmund Shelby, the editor of the Beattyville Enterprise. She was signing several of her books. Her newest one is called The Man Who Lived in a Hollow Tree which is a lovely picture book based on an old Appalachian legend.

Soon we were joined by our third tenant for the day. Her name was Alycia Davidson. Her book, The Grave of the Fireflies, was written for teenage readers, although anyone could enjoy it. The story involves mythical creatures and treasure! The cover of this book was just beautiful. It sounds like a great read!

So we sat. We were our own little version of the Three Musketeers. Luckily, we all got along just fine. For a minute, however, I was slightly worried that not too many of my books would sell. There were several authors at the event, and with the economy being in the slump, there is only so much money to go around. What if I sat there and didn't sell one book? Of course, I was just honored to attend the event. But still...

My worries were soon alleviated when the book buyers began to snatch up volumes left and right. The best thing about being at a book fair is that the entire place is filled with people who love books. I don't have a whole lot of competition in my genre of choice, children's poetry (sort of offbeat and wacky children's poetry!). So I was quite pleased to have several of my books purchased throughout the day. I can honestly say that I was very pleased with the amount of books that I was able to get into the hands of the reading public. I hope that they enjoy reading my book as much as I enjoyed writing and illustrating it.

During the day, two events were very meaningful to me. One of these was when a woman from the University of Kentucky came by with a list and stopped by my table. She asked me to sign a copy of my book for the UK Appalachian Studies room. I was so honored! Little did I know that she would return about thirty minutes later with another list. This time, she purchased a copy of all three of our books at our table. These were for the children's section at the UK library!

Another event began when Anne Shelby, the wonderful author I spoke about earlier, sold a copy of her book to someone who stated that they had come to the book fair with her book in mind. After they left, she said that it always felt good when someone told her that. Well...wouldn't you know. About an hour later, someone came up to our table and asked for a copy of my book. They said that my book was on their list of books that they just had to purchase! I was on someone's list! After they left, I turned to Mrs. Shelby and said, "Now I know what you were talking about!" It felt great to be on someone's agenda for the day.

During the day, I was able to meet lots of other great authors and illustrators. I was delighted to speak with Linda Hager Pack who wrote the book A is for Appalachia. I informed her that this book was on prominent display in the library at LBJ Elementary. She was very pleased. I was also able to meet Silas House. He is a very well-known and talented author who wrote a fantastic book called The Coal Tattoo as well as several others. He was signing copies of his books, including his newest novel Eli the Good. It was an honor to meet these great Kentucky authors.

As I packed up my materials and made my way out of the Convention Center at the end of the day, I made sure to speak with Mrs. Connie Crowe. She is the coordinator for the entire event. I informed her that the fair had been amazing. She was pleased and told me that she hoped to see me again next year. I have the same hopes! It was great to meet and speak with people who have similar interests and who value literature and reading.

I will look back on this event with great fondness for many years to come. Although I have attended other book signings in the past and will hopefully attend many more in the future, none will ever be able to measure up to the feeling of attending my very first Kentucky Book Fair.

Until next week...class dismissed!

My Mom Playing the Appalachian Jaw Harp!

2009-11-01T15:35:00.000-08:00

Trick or Treat!

2009-11-01T15:21:00.000-08:00

Lisa and I visited with our friends, Rod and Corrinna Middleton in Morehead. We went trick or treating with them and their little girl Hailey. She was the perfect witch! We all had a great time!

A Perfect Day....a Perfect View!

2009-11-01T15:15:00.000-08:00

Lisa and I went to Whitesburg. The day was a perfect late October day. The temperature was warm...in the low 70's...for this time of year, and the sun was shining a friendly face down upon us. We drove up in the hills toward Kingdom Come State Park. Along the way, we stopped to enjoy the view. It was like our own little personal paradise....with nobody else around. What a great day!

We ate lunch at the Pine Mountain Grill. The soup bean dinner is a winner! Soup beans, cornbread, fried "taters," onions, and tomato slices! Yum yum! Lisa enjoyed their delicious salad bar and a club sandwich.

Cooking Up Soup....and Pumpkin Cake!

2009-11-01T14:44:00.001-08:00

The last couple weeks of October have been great here in the Fugate household. To start off with, we have been using our new "Julia Childs" pot to cook lots of yummy soups. Mom and Dad gave me a nice butternut squash....and I used it to make a great butternut squash soup.

First, I roasted the squash in the oven...

After roasting, it looked like this....

Then, I melted some butter...yes, real butter...in the pan.

And then, I added onion, carrots, and the roasted squash in a mixture of vegetable and chicken stock. After cooking, I pureed the mixture to make it smooth.

The final ingredients were added....nutmeg, white pepper, and half 'n half. I stirred it with my wooden mixing spoon....and there was the perfect roasted butternut squash soup! This soup was great with corn muffins!

A week later.....we made a big pot of vegetable soup in our "Julia Pot" and it was GREAT!

And Lisa made the best cake! It is called a Pumpkin Spice Cake! It had homemade buttercream icing and pecan halves on top....with drizzles of caramel. Delicious!

Soup and Baptisms

2009-10-18T16:37:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a whirlwind the last few weeks have been! Sometimes it seems like life comes at you from all sides, and you don't really know which way to turn. So you just do your best and hope that it is good enough.

First of all, I have been very fortunate to have my book, Pumpkin Guts, Tater Eyes, and Other Tasty Treats, chosen for this year's Kentucky Book Fair. I was so excited to be invited as one of the featured authors at this year's event. The Kentucky Book Fair is held each year in Frankfort to showcase the year's new and best literature in Kentucky. The reading public gets to come and meet their favorite authors and get copies of their books signed.

But the best part is that the profits that are made by the Kentucky Book Fair go to help public and school libraries in the state of Kentucky. I am so honored to be able to help school libraries in my state. This is especially true since I am a teacher. I only want what is best for the schools. Did you know that SMS received a grant for $800 from the Kentucky Book Fair last year? That is great! If you all can make it to the fair on November 7th in Frankfort....I would love to see you there! Stop by my table and I will sign a copy of my book for you!

Another good event in my life is the fact that my dad, Lonzo Fugate, got baptized last weekend. Honestly, I never thought that I would see the day. However, he started attending church services with my mom a few years ago. Now he has taken it to the next step. Mom and Dad go to Eldon Miller's church. Eldon was the one who baptized my dad. I am very proud of both my parents and wish them all the happiness!

In case you haven't read my article before, my wife Lisa and I are still in the process of trying to adopt. We have had our papers in to adopt for almost 2 years now. Our program is through Children's Hope International. We are trying to adopt from Vietnam because we feel that we are meant to do this. Unfortunately, the Vietnam program has shut down for the moment. The United States and Vietnam are still trying to work things out. Meanwhile, the orphanages in Vietnam are overflowing with unwanted babies.

It just breaks my heart that Lisa and I are able to give a child a good and decent home environment but are unable to do so because of politics. We have everything for the baby. We already have two cribs, changing table, high chair, tons of clothes in all possible sizes, stacks of baby toys, and a variety of bibs, rattles, bottles, etc. We even bought a minivan! LOL! It is like...everything you need...just insert baby. Now, we play the waiting game. It looks like things may open up sometime in late 2010. Until then, we just wait...and wait...and make sure that our paperwork doesn't expire.

Finally, Lisa and I have been doing a lot of home cooking lately. A couple months ago, we went to see the movie Julie and Julia. Well, being the nuts that we are...lol...we went and bought Julia Child's book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Well, of course, we also had to have a Dutch oven to cook in...red and white...just like Julia's. And we have been trying out different recipes. We have made...so far....potato and leek soup, beans, vegetable soup, and chili. This weekend, I tried another Julia Child recipe...cream of butternut squash soup.

I had a nice, fat butternut squash that Mom and Dad gave me. I roasted it in the oven until the skin just popped right off. The flesh was nice and tasty....the roasting brought out the sweetness of the squash. Next, I combined onion, carrots, and squash with butter in my Dutch oven. I cooked them until the onions started to turn soft. Then I added both chicken and vegetable stock. The soup cooked for 30 minutes until all was soft. Then, I puréed it and added half 'n half, white pepper, and nutmeg.

The soup was very warming...the spices really added a kick. I served it along with corn muffins in the nice Longaberger soup bowls that I ordered off of Connie Hale. She sells the best Longaberger in the world! I invited Mom, Dad, and Uncle Robert to lunch. I liked it...and I think Mom liked it. I wasn't too sure about Uncle Robert or Dad. Lisa said that she did NOT like it...but she doesn't like cream of anything soup...LOL. Oh well....better luck next time!

I will close this article with a thought. If you don't do your best and fail....you've truly failed. If you do your best....you may not succeed....but you will never fail.

Until next time...class dismissed!

2009-10-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

In winter I am content
To watch the snowflakes float and swirl
And try to catch them on my tongue
A twisting private Tilt-o-Whirl.

A filtered fair of snow and ice
Awakening both hopes and fears
I count my tickets carefully
And spend them slowly through the years.

Fog

2009-10-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

Staring into the swirling fog
A mist of timeless eternity,
I place my eyes on distant places
of memories
and cats
and tops.

The mindless mist envelopes me.
I lose myself in memory.
And try to find the road again
And hope to find the way.

Dark as Coal, Part Eight...and the end of this little tale.

2009-10-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

Mary froze as Walter slowly made his way toward her. At least, the creature had once been her husband. Now, it was just a slobbering pile of tubes, quivering greedily in her direction. Tubes full of sharp teeth. Drool and blood were dripping from the fangs of the beast as it drew closer. Mary didn't have to ask where the blood had come from. She had just witnessed it eating the remains of some other poor soul.

"Help!" she screamed out. At least...that is what she wanted to do. But she could do little more than make a whimper. The black stare of the monster froze her in her tracks and made any voluntary muscle movement impossible. A tear of fright ran down her left cheek. She didn't want to die! Not like this!

She looked at what had once been her loving husband and sent all the love that she had left inside toward him. She took a deep breath and managed to croak out three simple words.

"I love you," she whispered.

A tube that ran out of Walter's ears latched onto her arm, digging its way inside. She felt the searing pain and heard a spatter as her blood began to flow onto the floor. She sensed other tubes whisking their way to the floor to greedily lap it up. Another tube, this one running from Walter's mouth, drew back...and prepared to impale her face. She tried to close her eyes...but couldn't. She didn't want to see what was about to happen to her...but she couldn't do anything about it.

And then...the beast stopped. The tubes fell limply to the floor. The one that was digging its way into her arm pulled out with a pop and another sharp wave of pain that shot up her arm and into her chest. She found that she was free....and she cried out in pain and clutched her arm, trying to stop the gush of blood.

The creature shook its head viloently. Blood and snot flew everywhere. And then, it let out a roar that seemed to come from its guts.

"Noooooo," it bellowed, a deep angry voice that mixed with Walter's voice, "Not her......never herrrrrr. Nooooooo."

"Oh Walter," she cried out, wanting to go to him...hug him...but not daring to take one step in either direction, "I love you Walter."

And then the demonic monster looked at her with eyes...eyes as black as coal...and for one brief moment, she saw Walter looking out of those eyes.

"And....and I...." it tried to form words around the drooling tubes that hung lifelessly out of its mouth, "I....luff...youuuuuuu."

And with another screech, it turned and raced to a door at the back of the stairwell. Mary found that she could move again, and for one moment, fought the urge to run away in blind panic. But then she realized that she had to follow the beast...had to find out what was going to happen to Walter...her Walter.

"Walter!" she cried out. "Wait!"

She didn't really know what to do. She just knew that Walter was still in there...still alive. She followed the bellows of rage and pain...and the trail of gooey, bloody ooze down another set of stairs behind the door that Walter had darted through. These steps led down....down into the dark basement of the hospital.

Every instinct in her body was telling her to turn around...to get out...to escape. And still she ran after the monster that was also her husband.

It was so hot in the basement. And steamy. The hospital was old...and it heated the place with steam. Of course that the basement would be hot....they had a huge boiler that was powered by....

And then she knew...knew where Walter was going. Knew what he would want to do. She cried out and ran after him even faster.

"Walter! NO!" she screamed, "There must be some other way. We can fight this! We can get you some help. Walter please! Listen to me!"

She turned a sharp corner and saw that it was already too late. Walter was standing in front of the large furnace that powered the hospital's boiler. He had pried the door open with his many tubes...searing the ends of several of them. The smell of rotten, burnt flesh hung heavy in the air.

Mary stopped. Crying she held out her arms toward Walter...but she knew....deep down inside, she knew that it was too late.

The horror which had once been the man she loved turned to look at her one last time. Mary saw one large, black tear run down his face. Then with a scream of pain, Walter flung himself into the furnace...using one of the tubes to pull the door shut behind him.

The flames of the furnace shot up....licking hungrily at their new prey. Mary watched in shock as it began to burn. The parts that were still a little bit Walter seemed to melt away....leaving a mass of tentacles and teeth behind. The creature screeched in pain and tried to claw its way out of the fire. But a creature born in coal didn't stand much of a chance. Like coal, it burned hot and true...and in a matter of mere seconds...the creature exploded in a fireball of light and heat. Mary raised her arms to shield her face and felt small blisters start to form on the tender, underside of her arms. She blinked several times to get riid of the afterimage that had burned itself onto her retinas. And then she looked back at the furnace.....the empty furnace. Walter was gone.

***

Two days later, the rains began. It was a dry time of year and everyone was welcome of the rain. It would be good for the wells. Plus, it would wash away some of the dust and smoke that had been lingering in the air recently. Large black flumes of smoke had belched out of the hospitals furnace a couple of day before...and had been hanging in the air....acrid and strong.

Karen Thronsburg was making a sandwich when the rain started. At first she was overjoyed as the rain pelted her kitchen window. And then she saw them...her two little girls playing outside in the rain. But no...they weren't playing. They were just standing there.

"Dang it if they aren't the stupidest girls ever," Karen muttered angrily to herself, "I sometimes wish I didn't have kids...so much trouble."

She stomped out on the porch, "Kelly! Beth! GET OVER HERE NOW! What are you doing out in this mess! And don't even think of coming in the house all wet like that! I don't clean all day just for you two to make a big...."

And then she stopped. She stopped because there was something wrong with her little girls...her little girls who had been standing in the rain when it began to fall...through the thick black clouds of smoke that sitll hung in the air from the hospital furnace.

Their eyes! Oh God! Their eyes were as black as coal. And tubes were starting to sprout from their little mouths...from their ears....nose.....even their skin.

And then they spoke...in unison...

"I'm hungry."

They both began to walk toward their mother. She couldn't move.

Until next week....class dismissed!

Dark as Coal, Part Seven

2009-10-11T19:39:00.000-07:00

Mary Jones was walking with Jesus. They were at the mall, and Jesus was going on and on about the sale on jeans at the Gap. Mary thought this was really weird. When did Jesus start wearing jeans? But Mary was nice enough not to say anything. He was the Lord, after all.

They stopped off at Drinks N Things for a slushie. Mary got a blueberry. Jesus just got a water…but then turned his into a cherry slushie afterwards. Then he turned to Mary.

“Listen to me Mary,” he said, “There is something wrong with Walter.”

“What do you mean?” Mary asked. Only now, she wasn’t talking to Jesus anymore. She was talking to a life-size Pillsbury Dough Boy. He was slurping his cherry slushie down so fast that it was dribbling a red stain down his chest.

“You know what I mean,” the Dough Boy said, “He isn’t Walter anymore. He’s….well…let’s just say that he is something else. Walter is still in there…for the moment. But the other one is getting stronger.”

“The other one….and who would that be,” Mary asked.

“You know,” the Dough Boy said, “He has been called many names…but has no true name. The One Who Has No Name.”

And then he pointed off into the distance. Mary was suddenly aware that they weren’t in a mall anymore. They were in a corn field. And in the distance she saw a dark, twisting shape that was full of teeth and long stringing tubes. Gurgling loudly, it started making its way hungrily toward her. Startled, she looked back over to the Dough Boy. He was gone. So was Jesus.

It was just her….all alone…with the Beast. Sharp teeth touched her arm.

With a jolt, Mary awoke. Disoriented from the dream, she didn’t know where she was for a moment. And then she realized that she was still in the hospital, next to Walter’s bed. Walter’s empty bed. He was gone! While she had slept, Walter had gotten up and walked off!

Suddenly alarmed, she jumped up and ran out into the hallway. Where could he have gone? Why?

Nobody was in the hallway. She hadn’t half expected there to be anyone, but her heart still sank. Running past the nurses’ station, she heard the phone ringing off the hook and realized that the night nurse hadn’t shown up yet. I wonder where she is, Mary thought as she continued scanning the hallways and doors for Walter.

People, tired and haggard looking from lack of sleep, turned to look at her as she ran from doorway to doorway. They probably thought that she was crazy. Let them. Maybe she was a little crazy. It was that dream. That crazy dream. What had caused that? Probably that nasty hospital cafeteria lasagna that she had had earlier. Her stomach churned at the thought.
Yet still, there was no sign of Walter.

“Dear God,” she prayed, “Please…please help me find him. Help me find my Walter.”

Taking a sharp corner, she passed a security guard who gave her a strange look.

“Can I help you ma’am?” he asked, absent-mindedly reaching for his club. He didn’t want to take any chances with this wild-looking woman.

“My husband,” Mary managed to croak out in a voice so raspy that even she was shocked at its sound, “I can’t find my husband.”

The guard relaxed. He smiled reassuringly.

“Don’t worry ma’am,” he said, “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere. This hospital isn’t that big. Maybe he stepped outside to smoke?”

Mary didn’t bother to let him know that her husband was a patient…or that he had stopped smoking 6 years earlier. She just nodded and ran on, leaving the guard behind. He just scratched his head and shrugged.

“Females,” he muttered to himself.

As she neared the front entrance, Mary passed the stairs. On a whim, she turned and slammed through the stairway door. And there was Walter!

Only he wasn’t alone.

Her hands went to her mouth to cover her silent scream as she watched the large black tubes suck up the rest of the bloody mess that was on the floor. What looked like a finger was the last thing to go. A tube sucked it up and into Walter’s mouth. With a loud crunch, he chewed it up…bones and all…and swallowed. Then he turned to face Mary. And his eyes…..oh God…his eyes! Dark as coal…and yet alive with an inner fire!

“Delicious,” Walter hissed, his eyes reflecting the light into a million prisms of darkness.
And then he started to walk toward her, his hands stretched out grotesquely like he wanted a hug….but Mary knew better. She wanted to run but couldn’t. The eyes…they froze her in place. Even her screams wouldn’t come.

“And now…for desert,” Walter grinned with a mouthful of fangs that glistened with drool and blood.

Until next week, class dismissed!

Dark as Coal, Part Six

2009-10-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

Megan Whitely had the shakes again. Standing outside the hospital doors, she tried to look as sick as possible…which wasn’t too hard for her to do. A bad drug habit will work wonders on a person’s body…and not in a good way. It had started with alcohol…then some good old Mary Jane…and then heroine. Now…it was whatever she could get her hands on. Usually she got them off of her boyfriend..but they had broken up. He had started to lose interest when she had started to lose her teeth.

Megan tried to control her shaking. She didn’t want to appear to be a total pill-head. But some friends of hers had had some success in scoring a pill or two at the hospital before. They had told her who to talk to…how much money to bring. There was always someone who needed a little extra cash. Not that she had much cash to give. She had stolen some off of Hank, her ex-boyfriend, just before he left. She had pawned her son’s Wii system to get the rest.

Trying to mix in with the crowd, she stole her way through the side door and made her way down the mostly empty hallway. There weren’t too many people working this late at night…just a bare bones staff. But she was looking for Chuck…the night janitor. According to her friends, he was always good for a little “pick me up.” And she really needed picking up right now. Where could he be?

She rounded the corner and saw a security guard walking toward her. Snaking back around the corner, she dived into the stairway. It was dim in the stairway…not all of the lights were working. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. She didn’t need to be nabbed by some dumb old rent-a-cop right now. She was sure that he hadn’t seen her….she hoped.

But what if he did, she thought, he could be out there right now…calling the cops to come and get you.

“Stop it,” she muttered to herself, trying to control her breathing, “He didn’t see a thing.”

She would wait here for a few minutes just to be sure that he was gone…and then she would look for Chuck again. If she could hold out that long. She was really starting to feel sick.

Something scraped on the floor behind her.

Stifling the scream that had come tearing up from her lungs, she whirled around. The staircase ended behind her. Underneath it…there was only darkness. It had sounded like something had moved under there.

“Is there someone here?” she hissed through her missing teeth.

Nothing. Not one sound.

“Chuck?” she hoped that it was him. She could get her fix and get the heck out of this creepy place. She never realized just how spooky a hospital at night could be.

And then the darkness moved. Something…someone…came shuffling out of it toward her. It was a man…a patient. His hospital gown was flapping along behind him.

“Jeez mister,” she tried to crack a smile with her ruined mouth, “You really scared me. Are you lost?”

The man didn’t say anything. He was staring at the floor like he didn’t know where he was.

Great, she thought, an escapee from the mental ward. Just my luck. Well….I’m not getting involved. I’m getting the heck….

And then he looked up into her face…and she saw his eyes. His dark, dark eyes that burned with a cold, black fire. And she found that she couldn’t move….she couldn’t blink….couldn’t even breathe.

“I’m hungry,” the man whispered in a rough, low voice…almost a grunt. And then he started to walk toward her.

She tried to scream….but no sound came from her mouth. She couldn’t look away…even when he started to feed. But she could feel the pain…..oh God! She could feel the pain!

Large tubes streamed out of the man’s mouth and gouged themselves into her stomach….sucking and pulling. She could feel small teeth at the ends of the tubes start to eat their way into her guts…tearing and crunching.

Red pain tried to push her down to her knees…but the force of the tubes kept her upright. They jerked her body from side to side…trying to get to the juiciest parts of her insides.

Other tubes had erupted from the man’s ears. These sprang toward her and impaled her neck…right at the jugular vein. Hot blood spurted out…but not a drop touched the floor. Other tongue-like tubes sprang from the man’s skin and lapped up the drops in mid-air.

She tried to scream. The agony of being eaten alive was unbearable. A large cramp hit her as the thing continued to eat into her intestines. She smelled a stench and realized that it was her. She could smell herself being eaten. The last thing she saw was two more large tubes erupt from the man’s eyes. And then…they impaled her own eyes….eating them before continuing on to gnaw their way into her brain.

Finally….death came to her.

And still the crunching and slurping and sucking continued.

Until next week….class dismissed.

Dark as Coal, Part Five

2009-10-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

Walter Jones was walking down a cold, dark tunnel. For a second, he thought that maybe he was still in the mine…the cave-in had trapped him…had trapped them all. But no….that couldn’t be right. He had been saved. Pulled from the mine just when he thought that all was lost, he had been so relieved to wake up in the hospital with Mary by his side.

But Mary wasn’t the first person you saw when you woke up, came a voice from his left, and you know it.

Walter’s head jerked in that direction, “Who’s there?”

But of course, there was no answer.

He tried to remember that day….the day of the cave-in. What had happened? Something about a rock wall….what had it been?

“Hey Walter!” one of the guys had yelled out, “Come and look at this!”

A bunch of them had been standing in the far back part of the mine looking at something. As Walter walked toward them, he saw that something was indeed different. The seam of coal that they had been following seemed to grow larger and larger the deeper they went. And then…it ended. And it didn’t just peter out….it ended all at once. But that wasn’t the strangest thing of all.

“What do you think it is?” one of the guys had asked…had it been Kenneth? He couldn’t remember but he thought that it might have been.

The coal ended at a large slab of rock that they had uncovered. But not just any rock.

“Would you look at that?” Walter had said, astonished at what he was looking at.

The wall was full of strange, dark carvings. At first, he thought that it might have just been one of the guys…fooling around….trying to play a prank. But this wasn’t just some random gibberish. It was different…more detailed. He had seen a show on TLC once about the ancient Mayans. On it, they had shown ancient ruins and carvings. This looked something like that. What had they discovered?

“Look down there,” Walter had said, pointing to the bottom of the wall. The writings ended…and there at the bottom was a picture of some kind. It looked like some kind of beast…not a deer or buffalo….something larger. Something with horns. Something with lots and lots of teeth. Something dark.

Walter had bent down to brush some of the coal dust from it. And as his fingers touched the rock wall…everything had gone dark…..as dark as coal.

What had happened?

Walter tried to remember. His head started to hurt. Had something fallen on his head? He reached up and touched the back of his head. His fingers brushed up against the shard of coal that was imbedded in his head. A sharp jab of pain shot through his entire cranium.

You might not want to do that, the voice beside of him came floating out of the darkness again, If you want to live..that is.

Walter closed his eyes, although he didn’t know why. It was so dark in here. And then he remembered….there had been….screams?

Yes…he was pretty sure that there had been screams….and then the ground had been shaking. And then….the screams had stopped. There had only been silence…and darkness. Had they all died in there…had he?

Now Walter…if you had died….how would you still be here? the voice whispered.

Walter groaned. His head hurt. His eyes hurt. And he didn’t want to think anymore. He didn’t want to remember….what had happened in the tunnel. How he had survived. How he had been so hungry….for so long. What he had done…

I’m hungry right now Walter, the voice slithered around him like a cold wind, It’s time to eat.

“But you just ate!” Walter cried out, “Not again..not now…it’s too soon!”

The pain in his head increased making him cry out in agony. He dropped to his knees in the darkness. I SAID….I’M HUNGRY!

And in the darkness of the hospital room, Walter’s eyes opened. If his wife Mary had been awake at the moment…she wouldn’t have been pleased…she would have been very concerned. Both of Walter’s eyes were pitch black.

“Let’s go eat,” he whispered.

Until next week….class dismissed.

Potato Soup on Sunday

2009-09-13T13:21:00.001-07:00

Decided to make some potato soup today. I followed Julia Child's recipe from "Mastering the Art of French Cooking." I started with some diced potatoes and chopped leeks

Of course....we had to have REAL butter...LOL!

The finished product...was delicious...if I say so myself. Thanks Julia!

Shiloh...Eat there when you are in London, KY

2009-09-13T13:18:00.001-07:00

Lisa and I went out for a drive and ended up in London, KY...LOL. We ate at Shiloh's Roadhouse. Great food...the rolls are to die for. Lisa had a baked potato and chili. I had grilled chicken, steamed veggies, and a salad. Great service too!

Sunflowers, Apples, and Family

2009-09-13T13:10:00.002-07:00

Spent some time with Mom, Dad, and Uncle Robert. The sunflowers look great. I love sunflowers in the fall. Sassy wanted to have her picture taken...lol.

Me and Sassy

Mom and Sassy

And then I had to take a pic of Uncle Robert and Dad in the apple orchard. There was a good crop this year..but nothing like last year's crop. Still....fried apples and gravy with biscuits is GOOD!

Dark as Coal, Part Four

2009-09-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

Mary tore into Walter’s room, sure that she would find him dead. The shrill scream had come from this room, she was sure of it. It must have been the missing night nurse. But she was surprised when she didn’t see the night nurse. She only saw Walter….and praise be! He was sitting up on the edge of his bed! He was awake.

He was staring at the floor, as if he wasn’t sure what it was. Slowly Mary walked over to him. She wasn’t sure if he would recognize her or not.

“Walter?” she asked quietly, “It’s me…Mary.”

Walter raised his head…and thank God….his eyes were both back to normal. His face was full of worry and confusion. He stared at her for a minute…and then slow recognition spread across his face. He began to smile….to smile!

“Mary?” he asked, “Oh Mary!”

And then all words were lost to her. They were hugging…and crying…and sobbing openly with loud, wordless heaves. Mary was so happy. Her Walter was back with her…and from the looks of it, he was going to be okay. Even his eye…the one which had been as dark as coal…was back as normal.

Mary finally broke free of Walter’s grasp and took his head in her hands. Giving him a quick kiss, she said, “Now Walter…you stay right here in bed. I’m going to run and grab a doctor…nurse…somebody!”

Walter nodded and lay back down on the bed. Mary turned heel and quickly sprinted out into the hallway. Where was the night nurse? Where was anyone? The nurse’s station was empty, so she ran on down the hallway. She turned the corner…and ran smack into Doctor Franklin! He took two steps back…stumbling over his paperwork he had been reading.

“Mary?” he asked with concern, “Is everything alright?”

“No…I mean yes!” she cried, “Walter! It’s Walter! He’s awake! I couldn’t find anyone so I was just running until I found someone….anyone…you!”

“Calm down,” Doctor Franklin smiled, his eyes crinkling, “If Walter is awake..that’s a good thing. Although I’m sure that Sally, the night nurse, is aware of it already.”

“That’s just it,” Mary said, taking Doctor Franklin’s hand, “I can’t find her. Please…come and look at Walter! He’s awake! He’s back to normal!”

Mary and Doctor Franklin quickly made their way back to Walter’s room. As they passed the nurse’s station, a madly ringing phone greeted them. It appeared that Sally, the night nurse, was still nowhere to be found. But Mary wasn’t concerned over some lazy nurse who had run off somewhere….probably with a janitor or intern somewhere in a supply closet! She was too worried about Walter.

For a second, she was sure that Walter was back in his coma. He was just laying there when they made their way into the room. But then, he opened his eyes…both of which were still normal…and slowly sat up.

Doctor Franklin took out his pen light and made his way over to Walter’s bed.
“Mr. Jones?” he asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Well,” Walter croaked dryly in a harsh voice, “I’ve felt better….but I have to say…I’ve felt worse.”

Mary started to cry again. Walter was back. He was back.

Doctor Franklin made Walter follow the pen light with his eyes. He checked his blood pressure. He listened to his heart. And then he checked the wound in the back of Walter’s head. Mary knew that this wasn’t just any wound. It was a jagged piece of coal that was imbedded in Walter’s head…in his brain. It would be there for the rest of his life. The doctor’s had said that Walter would have to have a piece of plastic over it to protect it when he healed up.

Doctor Franklin made Walter lay back down and then came over to speak with Mary.
“Well…as of now…he seems to be doing fine,” he said, “But I don’t want to give you a false sense of hope. His condition is still very serious. For God’s sake…he has a large piece of coal in his head…his brain! The truth is…we don’t really know what kind of effect this is going to have on him.”

“What do you mean doctor?” Mary asked.

“Just that you shouldn’t be too surprised if he goes back into a coma…or worse…at any moment,” Doctor Franklin said, “But still…he seems to be doing fine right now. Let’s just take this one day at a time. I want to run another round of tests in the morning.”

Mary nodded her agreement, and Doctor Franklin left to find Sally, the missing night nurse. Mary walked back over to Walter. He was asleep again. But it was a good sleep…a “I’m still there” sleep. Not the coma state that he had been in. Mary sat down in the chair that sat beside Walter’s bed. She wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. She would just watch him sleep.

As soon as she sat down, she felt something pinch her on her ass. She jumped up…thinking for a second that it was a misplaced needle or something. It was a ring. Bending down, she picked up the expensive-looking diamond ring that had been lying on the chair. Where had it come from? Just then, Walter mumbled in his sleep. Without thinking about anything else, Mary slipped the ring into her pocket. She would worry about it later. Right now…all that mattered was Walter.

Until next week…class dismissed.

Dark as Coal, Part Three

2009-09-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

Mary Jones took another swig of green tea, cold and calming as it swished in her mouth and soothed her dry throat. The last three weeks had been anything but calm…and she needed all the help that she could get. Life wasn’t easy. She had always known that. But still…the blur of hospitals, doctors, tests, x-rays, and even more tests swirled in her mind, making her dizzy. So for the moment, she was holding on to her sanity by enjoying one moment of peace with her cold bottle of green tea from the hospital cafeteria.

Three weeks. It was hard to believe that the time had gone by so quickly. And still Walter was what the doctors called a “relatively mild coma.” What in the heck did that mean anyway? As far as Mary was concerned, a coma was a coma was a coma. But the doctors assured her that this was a very light state of mind….a healing state…and that Walter would most likely come out of it at any time.

She walked down the long, cold hallway. It was just past midnight, so the halls were mostly empty now….just a few haggard looking people who were here for their loved ones and the night shift. She had heard it called a skeleton crew. She shuddered. It wasn’t the best of terms for a hospital. God…she needed a cigarette. Stepping outside, she slid her body onto a bench and lit up. Taking a drag, she inhaled the harsh smoke into her lungs. It was like breathing death. And that was just fine to her. She wanted to kill this feeling of hopelessness that was pressing into her mind. Maybe a little death would be just the thing that would do it. She took another pull and exhaled slowly, watching the smoke drift lazily into the night air.

She couldn’t get the idea of Walter and his…deformity…out of her mind. His eye….his one eye….the left one. It had been black…as dark as coal. It wasn’t normal. And the doctors still couldn’t explain it. There wasn’t any blood buildup. There wasn’t any damage to the eye at all, as far as they could see. But there was one thing that was terribly wrong with Walter. When she had first heard it…she had almost passed out.

“Mrs. Jones,” Doctor Franklin, the head physician had pulled her aside a few hours after Walter had been admitted to Cringleton Memorial Hospital. His expression had told her that something was wrong. At first, she had assumed that Walter had died. But that wasn’t the case.

“I’m afraid that I have some very bad news,” Doctor Franklin had said, “But I don’t really know how to explain it…so I’m just going to come right out with it.”

He had spent the next 30 minutes going into detail about how Walter should have been killed with all the other miners…how it had been a miracle that he had survived the cave-in. And then he went on.

“Your husband has a large jagged piece of coal that is imbedded in his skull,” he said to Mary’s amazement, “In fact, the x-rays show that it is penetrating his brain. In all my days, I’ve never seen anything like it. He should be dead.”

“Is he going to die, doctor?” she had asked, wringing her hands with worry.
“Well….I should be saying yes,” Doctor Franklin had continued, “But I can’t. All of his vital signs are strong….and getting stronger. It seems that he is in perfect health…at least physically. And all of his brain waves seem to be in the normal range. But…..”

“Go on….” she had prompted.

“I’m afraid that we can’t remove it,” he had said, “If we do…he will more than likely die immediately. Your husband is going to live the rest of his life with a large jagged shard of coal imbedded in his brain.”

The doctors had done everything that they could. They had run endless hours of tests….performed scans….and still they weren’t any closer to knowing what had happened to Walter than when they started. And they still didn’t know why he was alive.

At least some good news was coming her way. Since the accident, she had been barraged by a mob of lawyers who wanted to represent her. She had researched them all…and picked the ones who were the most bloodthirsty. She was out for all that she could get. Her lawyers assured her that the coal mine was to blame….faulty conditions, shoddy practices, and even more that could shut them down or, even worse, land some of the top officials in prison. They were more than ready to settle out of court…keep it all hush hush. And Mary was willing to work with them….for a price. For a very large price.

All of Walter’s medical bills were being taken care of by the mine. And yesterday, she had been able to deposit a very large sum of money into her bank account. The first of many. So….for that…she could put up with all the drama of the last three weeks. She could put up with a lot of things.

Walking back into the hospital, she made her way back toward the elevator. She needed to get back to Walter. She wanted to be there in case…when…he woke up. She heard someone weeping softly in the chapel as she passed by. She could have stopped….seen if she could offer some solace….a shoulder to cry on. But she didn’t. She had her own troubles to worry about. And she didn’t care if it was God and Jesus or the God of the Honky Tonk….she would pray to whichever god would help her out right now. She just wanted Walter to come out of his coma…and then they could get on with their life. Heck…she could even learn to live with that eye. She would buy him a patch. Right now…she could afford to buy him a million patches!

As she stepped off the elevator, she took a deep breath to steady herself. She didn’t see the night nurse on duty at her desk. She must be off in one of the rooms helping a patient. Surprising….Mary didn’t have very high regard for her. She seemed rather lazy. Maybe that was why she was on the skeleton crew.

Just then she heard a shrill scream come from down the hall. It was very high pitched…a woman. And it cut off very quickly…snuffed out. But what got Mary’s heart pumping was the fact that it had come from Walter’s room! She started running toward his room. She wasn’t sure what she was going to find….but she was afraid to find out. And she was afraid not to know.

Until next week….class dismissed.

Dark as Coal, Part Two

2009-08-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Mary Jones stood huddled with a small group of women near the entrance to the Number 23 mine. They were each holding signs prompting people to “Pray to Jesus” and “Hope for Miracle.” But Mary knew in her heart that there was not going to be a miracle for any of them. It was hopeless. Everyone knew it. It was just that when you love someone as much as she and the other wives loved their husbands, it was hard to give up hope.

It had been one week since she had seen the vision in her mirror. Walter had been standing behind her, staring at her….holding out his arms toward her. It had frightened her at the time. Then the phone call from Jenny Smith had made everything crystal clear in her head. It had been a ghost….Walter’s ghost. He had come to say goodbye.

According to the news, which had been covering the story everyday for the past week, the mine had collapsed due to bad mining conditions and poor management. Of course, then the news had to bring up every old story about mine citations and other disasters in mining history…as if people wanted to hear that stuff anyway! About three days into the disaster, the news stopped calling it a search and rescue mission. Now it was a search and find mission…as in finding the dead bodies of all the miners.

Mary wiped a tear from her face. She had thought that they were all cried out, but she surprised herself. She just hoped that Walter had gone quickly. She didn’t like to think that he might have suffered.

“Pray with me Mary,” Jenny Smith trod up beside her and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her down onto the rocks.

Mary didn’t particularly feel like praying. It was hot…and the sharp gravels were digging into her knees. She didn’t want to upset Jenny though. Jenny was taking it harder than most of them. She had just married Bill Smith two months ago…and she was already expecting a child. It was going to be hard raising a baby without a husband…especially at 16. So, Mary bowed her head as Jenny began to weep and wail out to God for a miracle. She wasn’t totally cold-hearted. And besides, she could put up with a lot of things. A little physical discomfort wasn’t going to kill her.

Just then there was a sound of loud shouting coming from the direction of the mine. Several men in yellow coats and hard hats came running out of the mine, waving their arms and motioning for help. Mary froze. Her heart dropped down into her stomach which was sour anyway from lack of a proper diet and sleep. Had they found the bodies? Was this the end? She found that she was clutching Jenny Smith a little too tightly…but she couldn’t help it.

One of the miners who was standing vigil near the entrance of the mine came running toward the group of wives. He shouted out, “They found them. They found the bodies. Oh dear God…they found all the bodies.”

Mary heard the wailing start up around her as the women began screaming out their pain and anguish. She had started to tear up again also. But she couldn’t figure out if it was out of sadness for the loss of her husband or relief that his body had been found. She guessed a little of both. At least there would be closure. She wondered how much insurance money she would get from the mine….and how long it would last her.

Another miner came storming up to them. His words made her heart stop. “One of them is still alive. It’s a miracle! One of the trapped miners is still alive! Praise God!”

Her breath caught in her throat. She looked over at Jenny Smith. They were still holding each other. Their eyes locked. Instantly they pushed apart from each other. They knew….they both knew…that in a moment, one of them might hear the wonderful news that her husband was still alive. And they both in that moment knew that they were wishing that it was true…that their husband was still alive. But by doing so….Mary was, in a sense, wishing that Jenny’s husband was dead. And she knew that Jenny was doing the same thing about Walter. And you just can’t hold onto someone who is wishing death upon your family, now can you?

Mary got to her feet. She didn’t offer to help Jenny up. Let her stay down on the ground and pray some more. Mary was going to start walking toward the mine. She just had to see…who was still alive? Some more of the wives started walking with her.

“Who is it?” someone yelled out, “Who survived?”

And then, another man in a yellow coat and hard hat appeared. He was carrying one end of a stretcher. Another man, similarly dressed, was carrying the other end. And on the stretcher was…

“WALTER!” Mary screamed!

And it was Walter. She could recognize that long, crooked nose from anywhere. She ran toward him, but someone was holding her back.

“No Mary,” a voice was saying, “Don’t look at him. He’s alive…but something’s wrong with him. Don’t look at him Mary. We’ve got to get him to the hospital.”

But she did look at him. She looked at his face….as dark as coal. She looked at his hair…matted and clumped with dirt…mud…and something else. And his mouth….it looked red and raw. Like he had been punched in the mouth.

And as she was looking at him…trying to get to him…he opened his eyes. And it was almost like it was in her kitchen that day...right before the accident. One eye was white….and it was Walter…she could see it! But the other eye….the other eye….was as black as midnight. And it was shining. And Walter started to scream and scream and scream. And he was reaching out toward her, his hands drawn into claws. But Mary didn’t care. Walter was still alive.

Until next week….class dismissed.

Dark as Coal, Part One

2009-08-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

Mary Jones stood at the sink washing up a mess of potatoes for supper. Her husband Walter was a coal-miner, and his favorite meal was any kind of fried meat (chicken, beef, pork…he didn’t care!) and fried taters. So, being the good wife that she was, Mary always made sure that there were fried taters on the table. At breakfast, they had fried eggs, bacon, and fried taters. For lunch, she sent him along with a few cans of potted meat, crackers, a Twinkie…and a small dish of leftover fried taters. And for supper each night, she made even more fried taters.

Truth be told, Mary was quite sick of fried taters. Sometimes just the smell of them frying made her want to puke her guts out. But, she was raised to please her husband. And so…she made fried taters. Day in and day out. Sometimes she even dreamed that she was frying up a mess of taters.

Mary sighed. It was a good little life that she and Walter had made for themselves here in the hills of Breathitt County, Kentucky. She had been a high-school dropout and without an education, she hadn’t had much hope for a comfortable future. But then she had seen Walter at Save-a-Lot one day while shopping for pickled bologna. Walter had finished high school and had a good job as a coal miner. He wasn’t much to look at. His nose was sort of long and crooked and he was missing a few teeth. He also had knobby legs. He came out of the mines each day just as black as you please. And he sort of smelled.

But he was good to her. And he had a decent job. And she was the only one of her family who wasn’t on food stamps or welfare…so she guessed that she was doing pretty well in life. She and Walter had a real nice double wide trailer on land that they had bought and paid for. Their well had good water, and they had two dozen chickens in the back yard that gave them plenty of eggs to eat. They raised a little garden in the summer, and Mary had gotten quite good at canning beans, tomato juice, and pickled corn. The pickled corn went along real good with pickled bologna…and fried taters. She smacked her lips and knew that she was going to cook that for supper tonight. Walter wouldn’t care….he only cared for taters.

Happy with her lot in life, Mary began to hum a few tunes of “Jesus Loves Me.” She hadn’t been to church in a long time, and she felt a little guilty about not keepin’ up with the Lord. But she had gone to so much church when she was a little girl that she felt that she was due a little break. Walter didn’t believe in churches. But he was a God-fearin’ man. He prayed a lot at home…when he wasn’t drinkin’. Not that he was drunk. He just liked to cut wild sometimes. Mary didn’t care as long as Walter kept workin’ and bringing home that paycheck. She could put up with a little drinkin’. She could put up with a lot of things.

Bending down to get a pan out for the pickled corn, she suddenly felt like she wasn’t alone. It was weird because she and Walter were the only ones who lived in their little double-wide. They hadn’t had any kids yet. Truth be told, Mary wasn’t too sure that she even wanted kids. All of her sisters and brothers had kids…tons of them. And kids meant one thing….spending money. Money was hard to come by, and Mary didn’t want to be spending any of her money on a bunch of snot-nosed kids.

But the feeling persisted. Someone was standing behind her! With a startled screech, she jumped up and twirled around, brandishing the pot in her hand like a club. There was nobody behind her. Besides her, the kitchen was empty.

Laughing to herself, she turned back to her stove.

“Silly woman,” she whispered to herself, opening up a nice, fat jar of pickled corn, “Givin’ yourself the willies. What are ya? A little girl?”

It just so happened that at that exact moment something moving caught the corner of her eye. Without moving her head, she raised her eyes and looked in the mirror that hung on the wall behind her stove.

Walter was standing behind her…staring at her with eyes wide with fright. His face was black, making his eyes appear even whiter and wider than ever. His mouth was open like he was screaming…but no words were coming out of his mouth. And he was reaching out toward her…his hands clutching for her.

With a true scream this time, Mary twirled around. Had Walter gone crazy? Why was he home so early?

Nobody was behind her. Nobody at all. The kitchen was empty.

Just then the phone rang, making her screech out again. Her hands shaking nervously, she fumbled for the receiver. At first she was so nervous that she had the dumb thing upside down. She finally figured out what was wrong and turned it back around.

“Mary?” a tiny voice called out over the phone, “Mary? This is Jenny Smith…from down the road. Oh God Mary…you’ve gotta’ come quick. There’s been an accident….at the mine.”

Mary’s legs felt weak…and she slowly slid to the floor. The voice at the other end of the phone…Jenny Smith….kept going.

“Mary? Are you there?” it insisted in its hysterical tone, “There’s been a cave-in at the mine. There’s a bunch of ‘em trapped down there. My Bill…and your Walter. They’re trapped! Trapped!”

Suddenly it was hard to breath. Mary kept thinking about what she had just seen in her kitchen.

“Mary?” Jenny kept going, “You’ve got to come. They might all be dead!”

Until next week….class dismissed.

Grumpy, Frumpy....Down and Dumpy!

2009-08-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

Okay...I guess it has been one of "THOSE" days. It stated out good enough and then went to hell in a handbasket right away. How come the best way to get to hell is in a handbasket anyway? And what the hell is a handbasket? Oh well...I diverge.

I know that there are people in this world who just love to bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself just to make themselves feel better. I don't know what it is about these people...and usually I can take it with a grain of salt and go on. I'm the one who usually tells others to just ignore those people. But guess what? I'm human too! Shocker, huh? Let me just say that it was a bad day.

But...tomorrow is tomorrow and tomorrow is another day. What?

Tomorrow will be better. I'll fake it until then. :-)

My MIL has it right! This is how I feel...lol.
Tell us about it...Janet!

I'm in The Morehead News!

2009-08-11T15:18:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Anyone? Are you out there?

Oh well! I just wanted to let you know that my article "Class Action" is now being printed in The Truth (online newspaper run by East Ky Media), The Breathitt Advocate, and The Morehead News! I'm also submitting it to The Hazard Herald, but I don't know if they have printed anything yet...yet.

I'm syndicated!

Hoppy hoppy...joy joy
I'm happy!

HMR Diet..30 pounds in almost 3 months

2009-08-10T19:03:00.000-07:00

I have been living "in the box" (mostly) for almost the last 3 months. I have been eating foods from the HMR (Health Management Resources) diet plan. I get 3 shakes a day, 2 entrees a day, and unlimited fruit and vegetables. It has been a really easy diet to follow because I am eating all day long.

So far, I have lost right at 30 pounds. I am wearing pants I haven't worn in 2 years! I want to lose about 36 more pounds. Then...we'll see.

I'll keep you posted on my HMR progress. By the way...I do have a cheat day every now and then. Hey...it's called living. I can still lose the weight and not feel deprived.

Hatfield Reunion 2009...Photos!

2009-08-09T20:25:00.000-07:00

The Hatfield Reunion...2009!

2009-08-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone! I know that I said that I might start my story about Walter the coalminer this week, but then life happened. I wanted to share with you all about my weekend with some of the best people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

As my wife Lisa and I pulled onto the gravel driveway of Creekside Cabins and RV Park in Louisa, KY, I could see the huge, professionally-made sign welcoming us to the annual Hatfield Family Reunion. And yes…when I say Hatfield…I mean the ones you have heard about in Appalachian legend. As if to drive the message home, there was a picture of shotguns on the sign along with the words “No McCoys.” All of this was in good fun though…although I’ve never seen a McCoy anywhere near the area during this time of year.

As we drove under the covered bridge and entered the park grounds, it was almost like coming home. I only see most of these people once a year, but somehow there is no strange awkwardness or silence. These people are family. They were there to greet us with plenty of handshakes, back slaps, and hugs. I could feel the smile starting to spread across my face. Somehow I knew that it would stay there the entire weekend. When you are around people as nice as the Hatfield clan, it isn’t hard to be jolly.

The smell of wood smoke and roasting meat made my stomach growl hungrily. Have I mentioned that the Hatfields love to eat? They are people after my own heart…and stomach. A large smoker roared with fire and smoke the entire weekend producing such tantalizing treats as smoked pork loin, spicy chicken wings, pork shoulder (pulled and smothered), and brisket. Rusty and Mike Hatfield manned the smoker and did not let us down as they produced many wonderful meals.

We checked into our cabin. It was very nice with 2 bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, and living room. There was a full front porch (complete with rocking chairs) and a back deck that overlooked a stream that chugged along happily as if it were also enjoying the festivities. Although I have been attending the Hatfield reunion for the last 3 years now, I am still amazed at the compact clean accommodations at Creekside Cabins and RV Park.

As in years past, the main attractions of the reunion took place under the “big top.” A large canopy stretched out to create the perfect space to eat, talk, laugh, and then eat some more. I had helpings from so many dishes that I ran out of plate space at each meal. When you are at a reunion, plate space is more precious than gold! Sometimes you have to stack one type of food on top of another. But then, of course, you have the chance at plate “breakage.” Fortunately this did not happen and I was able to sample many dishes including not one but TWO types of hash brown casseroles! Everything was rich and creamy…swimming in grease, cream, butter, and sugar. It was an anorexic’s nightmare! But that just meant that I wanted to have seconds of everything!!!

After eating a large meal, apparently the Hatfields love to get out and about on a hayride! Of course, I just had to take part of that as well. We all flopped down on a large trailer pulled by a sputtering John Deere tractor driven by the ever vigilant Rusty Hatfield. We were all so weighted down with all that good food that we worried about the tractor breaking down before we could get back to the camp grounds. However, the trustworthy tractor took us on a delightful trip that allowed us to show off the Hatfield friendliness to the neighborhood! We even took a sign so that people would know who we were. I think that we entertained several people that evening.

Speaking of entertainment, the Hatfield Reunion is notorious for its entertainment. Carrie (Hatfield) Moore is in charge of the entertainment. This year, the game involved blindfolding family members and having them guess what they were holding. The items for some of the older members included tame items such as vegetables, toys, and other sundries. Then they called up some of the “younger” members…and I use this term loosely since some of us involved were not that young, myself included! I thought that this was going to be easy…but NO! Instead of passing around items, they passed around…ahem….animal excrement for us to guess! Needless to say, it wasn’t too pleasant for us…but hilarious for everyone else. But I can’t complain too much. If I had been in the audience, I would have been laughing just as hard. Carrie is a wonderful, sweet young woman who goes out of her way to make everyone feel welcome. Keep up the good work Carrie! I can’t wait to see what we are all going to be doing next year!

After the entertainment, several people went to bed while the rest of us sat up. We talked. We laughed. And…we sang. The karaoke machine was a very popular item. We even had our own version of the Oakridge Boys as a large group of them broke out with the song “Elvira!” I can still hear it now as I write this article. Have I been scarred for life? If I am, it is a price worth paying for all the laughter and fun that we had just hanging out and enjoying life.

All too soon, the Hatfield Reunion ended for another year. With more hugs and back slaps, we all promised to get together again next year. We even hope to visit with some of them this coming year so that it isn’t so long in between getting to see each other. Also, thanks to Face Book and other social sites, we can keep up with each other. Isn’t technology amazing?

Now we are just left with some wonderful memories…and some really cool pictures. I’ll share some of these with you. The rest? Well…let’s just say that some of them will remain top secret until next year’s reunion when we can share them with everyone on the “big screen.” And believe me…some of them are very, very precious!

Until next week…..class dismissed!

Julie and Julia...and FOOD at Cedar Village!

2009-08-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Went to the movies yesterday with the wife. We traveled to Richmond and watched it at the new Cinemark in Richmond Centre. It was a great movie and we both loved it. We have been reading "My Life in France" and "Julie and Julia" for the last week or so....and the movie did not disappoint.

We had heard that you shouldn't go and see this movie (about Julia Child!) on an empty stomach. Can't imagine why...lol!

On the way over to Richmond, we stopped off at a place in Irvine called Cedar Village Restaurant. I was just hoping for some decent country food. I haven't had that in a while....but let me tell you. THIS PLACE HAD THE BEST FOOD I HAVE EVER EATEN!

I was so impressed! We each had the buffet. It had the most amazing fried catfish on it. It was so hot, fresh, and flaky. It literally just melted in your mouth. I must have eaten a lake-full of fish! I also had some fried chicken, soup beans, cornbread, hashbrown casserole, mashed potatoes, and green beans (country style)! I was in heaven!

Usually on a buffet, I will enjoy maybe one or two things. I have found that when the chicken is good then the fish isn't....or if the beans are pretty good then the cornbread will suck. But I have to say that I didn't find one thing that I DIDN'T like about this place. I actually licked my plate! When have you done that at a restaurant before!

I finished off with a desert that was so good that I could have died right then and there...life would have found perfection. It was flaky, sweet, and spicy with hints of apple and cinnamon. One of the nice ladies who worked there said that it was called an "Old Fashioned Butter Roll" and was just full of sugar, butter, flour, and other good things. I didn't ask for the calorie count. When food is this good, it is worth the sacrifice.

I'm just glad that this place is a little bit from our house. If it was too close, I would have TLC at my house doing a documentary on the world's most obese man. They would have to cut a hole in the side of my log home just to get me out...and back to the Cedar Village!

If you want to check out their website, visit http://www.cedarvillage.biz/ .

Walking in Money

2009-07-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

In April, my wife and I decided to join the Virgin Healthmiles program offered through our health insurance company, Humana. It is a pretty good deal. We pay them $4.50 a month and they send us an electronic pedometer. We wear it each day and it records our steps. At night, we hook it up to the computer and it sends the data to the company. (The company....doesn't that sound ominous?)

You have to walk at least 7,000 steps a day to get points. After so many points, they pay you. Yes...you heard me right. They actually GIVE YOU MONEY TO EXERCISE! So far, I have earned $100. I can earn up to $300 in a year just for walking.

Sounds great...doesn't it? They give me money for doing something I should be doing anyway. In return, they save money because if I am exercising then I am living a healthier lifestyle and will probably not use my health insurance for major problems. A win-win....right?

Well...I just discovered that you can shake the pedometer and get "steps." Not saying that I'm doing that or anything...cough, cough. But what if I'm feeling lazy one day...or even one whole week. It sort of defeats the purpose if I'm just shaking this little gizmo all day long. But then again....that could be counted as some sort of exercise. Couldn't it?

Time will tell.

In other news, with the combination of walking to get Virgin Healthmiles points and my HMR diet, I have lost over 30 pounds since May! Hooray!

Green Beans and Blogs!

2009-07-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. Sorry that I haven't updated my blog in a couple of months. As you know, I was writing this blog in conjunction with the regional newspaper, The Kentucky Mountain News. When that went under, I thought "Well, I just won't write for a while." At first, it was just for a week or two...and then I got lazy. Lazy is as lazy does...or doesn't do.

Well, now I'm back baby! I decided to write for my blog once again. Writing is just a part of me...I love to do it and it just comes to me like breathing. I love to write and would probably do it even if the only ones reading this were my dogs. So, since I'm writing this....I guess that I should post it on my blog. I'm also going to be submiting this to The Truth which is the online newspaper which evolved out of The Kentucky Mountain News. I'll also post it to The Breathitt Advocate...a locally owned paper.

So where to start? I thought that I would start again with green beans....yes, I said green beans. Yesterday, I decided to help my mom and dad pick some green beans. I'm not a farmer. But my mom and dad are...and they love to grow everything from potatoes, cabbage, okra, and green beans. They were getting ready to can some beans...so I decided to get in touch with Mother Earth and pick some beans.

I slowly and methodically made my way through the bean patch. While I was doing this, my parents were obviously running a race through the garden because they picked a whole bucket of beans...while I picked these:

At first, I was quite proud of myself...and then I saw how many beans my parents had picked....and then my little handful just looked pitiful.

But, like I said, I'm not a farmer...and don't pretend to be. I'll just be happy with my few beans...and just let it go from there. At least I'm writing again....

Until next time....class dismissed.

Our Summer Trip to Vegas, 2009!

2009-07-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

Visit to WLEX Channel 18

2009-04-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been very blessed to have had lots of attention drawn to my latest book, Pumpkin Guts. I have had articles about it in all of the local and regional papers, including the Kentucky Mountain News. I have had my book placed in local businesses such as Jiffy Mart and in local schools where it is available for both checkout and sale. My website and blog are getting lots of hits, and my book is selling very well on Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and Books-A-Million. However, it is my recent trip to WLEX Channel 18 that I want to write about today.

On Thursday, April 2nd, I was invited to WLEX in order to speak about my book and about my experience of being a Kentucky author. In case you don’t remember, I had been to their station a few years ago to talk about my previous book, Nose Pickin’. I will have to say that this trip was a lot easier than my first.

First of all, I was able to find the TV station a lot easier because I had been there before. I didn’t even have to look it up on Yahoo Maps or anything. I know that I just have to go to the Wal-Mart on New Circle Road right when we get into Lexington and go right on behind it.

Second, I wasn’t as nervous this time as I was the last time. I had been there before and I sort of knew what to expect. When I walked in the front door, the receptionist greeted me and had me sign in. After I had signed in, I was greeted by the station manager and taken to the “green room.” I was surprised that the green room wasn’t green. It is just called that because it is a place to relax and calm one’s nerves before appearing on TV.

My wife Lisa was with me that day. We have been together for nearly 18 years and married for nearly 17 of those years, and we are always there for each other. Just having Lisa with me that day was a big positive. We sat and watched the noon news through the door to the main studio. It was really cool watching the news take place live while we were watching it on the little TV in the green room also.

Soon, it was time for me to be interviewed. While the viewers at home were watching commercials and community announcements, I was being led into the studio and hooked up to a microphone. Both Lee Cruse and Chris Goodman welcomed me and chatted with me before the interview. Yes…they are both just as funny off camera as they are on camera! At one point, Chris Goodman meant to tell me to just ignore the cameras but said that I should just ignore them (Lee and Chris). Lee Cruse was like, “Wait a minute. He can’t ignore us…or it won’t be much of an interview.” Those guys just cracked me up.

And then….it was magic time. The cameras were rolling and I had to speak….whether I was ready or not. Amazingly, I found that I wasn’t one little bit nervous. I felt like I was talking to old friends. I guess that it is because I watch these fellows each day on TV. When you invite them into your home all the time, people on TV start to feel like old friends.

I had a great time talking about my book and how I wrote and illustrated it. I am really very proud of my book….especially the illustrations. I hope that you have a chance to read it. I also talked about my experiences as a National Board Certified Teacher. At the last minute, I remembered to give a shout-out to all the people in Breathitt County and LBJ Elementary. Hey…I couldn’t disappoint my home county! I knew that the kids at LBJ would be watching also.

In closing, I just want to let everyone know that I will be a guest at the Mountain Showcase at Buckhorn Lake State Park on April 18th. I will be signing copies of my book. If you are in the area, please stop by and say hello. I will be more than happy to personalize a copy of Pumpkin Guts for you. I am also going to set up a booth at the Arts Fair in Jackson this year. That seems like it will be a good opportunity for many local artists and writers. In addition, I have been invited to a signing in Pikeville this summer on June 22nd. It will be held at the Pikeville Library. Once again…if you are in the area then please stop by.

I want to thank everyone for being so supportive of this writer. Because when it comes down to it….a writer isn’t worth too much if there aren't people who are willing to read what he writes. Thanks for being one of my readers. I appreciate it!

Until next week, class dismissed!

Tending Your Garden!

2009-04-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

It was such a relief to have a change in the weather yesterday. There has been so much death and disease lately in the lives of people around me. For a while, it seemed like every time I was turning around, someone was sick, dying, or dead. The power of the storm drove away some of the negative energy that was hanging around and made for more enjoyable days to come. True…it was a rather damp day but much improved from the cold which blanketed the area in the weeks before! I would rather have a warm, rainy day than a cold, dry day.

I love to go outside just before a storm. The air is charged with so much power. The more lightning…the better. I feel like I could do anything at times like this. I feel so alive. This is especially true when the rain begins to fall. The water that falls from the skies is part of a cycle that has been continuing since the beginning of time. Life began in water, and water still remains necessary to life.

Changes in the seasons bring about changes in our lives. The wheel has turned once again. As I drive to and from work each day, I see people plowing their gardens and preparing the soil for planting. Like these hard working gardeners, we can also take some time to prepare ourselves for change. If there is something that you want to change in your life, now is the time to plant the seed!

Perhaps you find yourself wanting more friends. Don’t just sit there! Get out and interact with others. Plant that seed of friendship. If you water it with love, compassion, and care…you will find yourself with many friends.

If you want a new or better paying job, start building your skills as a worker. If you plant that seed and tend it with hard work, education, training, and persistence…you will get that job you desire. Anything is possible. Everything in the world…and sometimes out of it…is within our reach if we will just get off our lazy behinds and actually reach for it.

And if love is something that you lack….begin now to sow the seeds which will lead to a full harvest. Improve your hygiene, increase your social skills, and actually get out there and try to meet some people with interests that are similar to your own. If you work hard at this and take the time necessary to plant these seeds, you will grow a true and lasting love. Just remember…things like this take time and patience.

How are you tending your garden? Right now is the time to prepare yourself for the upcoming season of growth. Don’t be afraid or feel unworthy to achieve happiness. Each of us has a right to gain happiness. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. There are too many unhappy people walking around on this planet.

Summer’s birth is near at hand
Growing sunlight on the land

A kiss of life as time awakes
We sense the spring of growing days

Prepare your fields and plant the seed
Growing wealth and love you need

A gathering of minds and men
In prayers the sun returns again

Just remember to never wait to do the things which make you happy. You may not have a chance tomorrow. Until next time…class dismissed!

Bluegrass and Purple Cows

2009-03-25T18:21:00.000-07:00

Could it be? Is spring actually here? I do believe that it may be! The softly blowing warm breezes accompanied by the sweet caress of the sun have woken the gently budding trees and early spring flowers. Our pear trees in the front yard are looking absolutely lovely. I can’t wait for them to grow a few more years. I love large trees full of early spring bloom.

Of course, spring in Eastern Kentucky is still highly unpredictable. By the time you read this, the weather could have taken a turn for the worse. It could even be….gasp….snowing again. With the crazy weather we have had this year, anything is possible.

However, since we have been having some really nice weather lately, Lisa and I decided to get out and about. I have probably mentioned this before, but Lisa and I love to get out in the car on a really nice day and just drive. We won’t really have a destination in mind. Usually we will just pull up to an intersection and Lisa will ask me if I want to go left or right. At the next intersection, she will decide. And so on and so on until we find ourselves deep in the hills of a beautiful Eastern Kentucky day.

Recently we found ourselves heading toward Natural Bridge. I hadn’t been there in a while, so we decided to drive on in and look around. Everything was still shut down for the season, but you could tell that things were starting to be cleaned up for the upcoming tourist season. There is something sad about the place when it is all shut down. It reminds me of an empty playground…existing without a purpose. But soon things will change and the people will return.

I’ll have to admit that it was pretty cool to visit the place during the off-season. There weren’t throngs of people around. It was very quiet. Sitting on one of the benches at Hoedown Island, all that I could hear was the wind in the tops of the trees. Making a hushing sound, the wind was trying to lull everything back to sleep….Nature’s snooze button. But the sun was shining and the birds were starting to chirp. Time cannot be halted. So onward we continue to march. Such is life.

After a nice relaxing moment at Natural Bridge, Lisa and I drove on toward Beattyville. Lisa had always wanted to eat at the Purple Cow Restaurant. I had only eaten there once as a child and decided that I would like to eat there again as well. Stopping in, I was surprised to find that, besides the staff, we were the only people in the place.

If you have never eaten at the Purple Cow before, you are missing an experience. The place is an historic restaurant from the 1930’s. While it may have seen its better days as far as interior decoration, one does have a sense of almost stepping back in time when entering the place. However, I was surprised to see that the place has carpet that looked stained with food. I would suggest that they take up the carpet and put down tile. It would give the restaurant an even more authentic feel.

On the back wall, someone had painted a nice country scene that included a large purple cow resting in the grasses. It was quite a mural! Other than that, the other decorations were run-of-the-mill. I was sort of disappointed. I was sort of hoping to find decorations that had been saved from over the years. Other than the mural of the field and the purple cow, I could have been in any restaurant. However, I will say that the place was very clean. It reminded me of the Family Diner in Jackson before it burned down.

Lisa and I both ordered one of the specials of the day…roast beef with mashed potatoes. The food arrived quickly, which was a plus since we were both rather hungry from our day of adventuring. The meal consisted of roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, and a roll with butter. Everything was great. The beef was fork tender, the potatoes tasted homemade, and the beans were definitely a specialty of the house. The only complaint that I had about the meal was the gravy. It was obviously from a jar or a mix….not homemade. Since it was poured all over the beef and potatoes, it took away a little from an otherwise lovely meal. I hope that they learn to make homemade gravy with this meal. It would make it perfect!

The best thing about the place was the friendliness of the staff. We were welcomed at the door, and our waitress was very attentive. She kept our glasses filled and checked with us regularly to see if there was anything that we needed. I felt at home. Keep up the good work!

Making our way home, we felt as though we had had a fantastic day. The weather had been great. Our meal had been very nice. As we continue to get deeper and deeper into the warm waters of spring, hopefully these days will come more and more often. Care to go for a swim?

Until next week….class dismissed!

Uncle General

2009-03-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

My dad recently told me the funniest story that I had ever heard about my great uncle, General Lee. General died when I was very young, so I never knew him. Also, for some reason, everyone in the family pronounced his name with a real Southern drawl. Up until last week, I thought that his name was Gennel. Go figure.

Anyway, my great uncle General had moved to Chicago during the late 60’s to find work. As you may know, there was a huge migration of people from the Appalachian area at this time in history. Several thousands of people flocked to the north to find work in the factories of Indiana and Illinois. You may still have family in the area today.

General was living in Chicago at this time and was trying to find work. Unfortunately he couldn’t read or write. So, he got one of his friends to fill out his employment application for him. His friends decided to play a joke on him and wrote down on his application that he had graduated high school and had gone to two years of college. When he turned in his application, the company put him in an office position. I am not sure what they wanted him to work on, but it involved a lot of paperwork. They kept checking on him throughout the day, but he never seemed to make any progress.

Finally, his supervisor asked him if anything was wrong. General said that he didn’t know what they wanted him to do.

“You went to school, didn’t you,” his supervisor asked him, “Surely this shouldn’t be too hard for someone with your education.”

“Yeah,” my great uncle stated, “I went to school for a lot of years. I just never could learn anything!”

Needless to say that General didn’t get to keep his cushy office position for long. He ended up the day working with the custodial staff. From what Dad said though, he never did keep one job for very long. He was a Jack of all trades.

Another story that involved my great uncle General dealt with the problems that people often have with language barriers. As I stated before, I had always thought that his name was Gennel because that is how everyone in my family has pronounced it all these years. Well, in Chicago, it is obvious that there would be a language difference. This caused some problems for my great uncle.

One day, he went to the drug store on the corner to buy a pitcher so that he could keep cold water in the refrigerator. When he went into the store, he told the ladies that were working that he was looking for a “picture.” Confused, they brought him a picture album and several picture frames. General just kept on getting angrier and angrier.

Finally, he said, “No! I want a picture! Something to make water in!”

Of course, what he really meant was something to keep water in. However, the workers had something else in mind. They brought him a bedpan!!! You can imagine my great uncle’s response. Needless to say, I can’t put it in print…LOL!

I wish that I could have gotten to know my great uncle better. He seemed like he really enjoyed life and lived it to the fullest. I hope that each of you is doing the same. Until next time…class dismissed!

Keep Working....Keep Learning....Don't Let Others Keep You Down

2009-02-23T17:38:00.001-08:00

Everyone gets up each day with a clean slate ahead of them. We are faced with literally hundreds of choices that we can make from what to wear, what to eat, and how to interact with others. One thing that I find interesting is that we not only have an effect on ourselves with these decisions. We also have a major impact on other people around us. For example, let’s imagine that you are really grumpy because you didn’t win the Power Ball jackpot. Because of this, you are very rude to the waitress at Hardee’s while you are getting your morning biscuit and coffee. This brings down her mood and so she takes it out on other customers who innocently walk in wanting some breakfast. These people might feel bad enough to snap at their kids when they get back in the car.

Wow! Your one little action just created a big negative vibe for several people in the community. What a bummer. Just imagine what we could do if we took the time to always be aware of how we are acting. If we tried to be positive and have a great outlook on life even when we didn’t really feel like it, just imagine the possibilities. You may have heard the term, “Fake it until you make it.” That isn’t what I am talking about here. I am talking about taking the time to be genuinely caring to others around us. It doesn’t take as much effort as you might imagine. And believe me…people can tell when you fake it.

Now that I have gotten this little tidbit off my mind, I want you to focus on why you do the things that you do. What is it that drives you to be the person that you have become? For me, the answer is pretty easy.

When I was growing up here in Breathitt County, my family didn’t have a lot. I wouldn’t say that we were poor, but I never had everything handed to me either. Like a lot of other people, I knew what it was like to do without. One positive aspect in my life was school. I had some wonderful teachers when I was growing up who really showed that they cared for me and encouraged me to grow.

At Caney Elementary School, Ina Southwood was one tough woman who really took the time to stand up for her students and who also took the time to show her students that she cared for them. She was always looking out for me and encouraging me to work hard in school. She was the best teacher that I ever had and I still appreciate her to this very day. I try to pattern a lot of my teaching practices from what I remember about her. It isn’t easy though. It’s hard to compete with someone as great as Ina!

When I decided to become a teacher, I knew that I wanted to teach in Breathitt County. There are a lot of kids in this county that are growing up and facing the same things that I faced when I was their age. So, I guess that I could say that the main thing that is driving me to do the things that I do is the fact that I want to help others the way that I was helped. I want to be a positive influence in their lives. I really care about the future of this county.

Today, I was telling my students that there are a lot of outside powers that would love nothing better than to keep people in this region poor and uneducated. If people are poor and uneducated, they are easier to control. I told the kids that they owed it to themselves to work hard and to get as smart as they could. Smart people ask questions. Smart people are not easy to control. Smart people work to better their lives and the lives of the people around them.

If you happened to see the latest 20/20 on television that portrayed a lot of negative stereotypes about our region, you often wonder what happened to all of the good things in our area? We have people in Eastern Kentucky who make a great living, live in decent housing, and drive pretty nice automobiles. We have professionals…and yes, we have poverty. But then again…so does every region in the United States…and the world. Why does the news feel the constant need to berate and belittle people in the Appalachian region? It makes good ratings, and that equals more dollars for them.

So once again, I ask you….what drives you? What makes you do the things that you do each day? Take a moment to think about it. The answer may just surprise you. Until next week…class dismissed!

Hiccups in Life

2009-02-23T17:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the world gets the hiccups. Everything is going along in a relatively frictionless slide with each day passing smoothly into the next. And then – hiccup – everything changes.

If we are lucky, these changes will be positive. Perhaps Fate has decreed that the winning lottery ticket will find its way into our hands. Maybe we get that long-deserved and hard-earned promotion at work. And for some, the news of a new baby in the family brings tears of happiness. For example, my cousin Christianne just had her first child, a little girl named Nicole. Congrats Christianne!

But what if we aren’t so fortunate? Then the hiccups in life can bring about near disastrous events. The loss of a job doesn’t seem too far out there, especially in the downturn of today’s economy. How many lives and dreams have been ruined because of this very fact?

Then again, the economy can improve. People can get new training and new employment. What if – instead – the hiccup is more personal and more direct? What if it is sickness or even death?

Human beings are remarkable creatures. We go through each and every day of our lives knowing our mortal frailty and limitations. We even know that life is not infinite on this earth. We each have a certain set number of days that we are using up at a constant rate.

But, as I have stated before, we are remarkable. We go about our lives without seemingly giving these things a second thought. True, the religious sects often preach and wail about such things. In turn, this brings about uncomfortable and forced acknowledgement. But as a whole, we do not spend each and every minute of our days thinking about our limitations. To do so would bring about madness.

So we are often surprised when life’s hiccups bring about these less than desirable changes into our own lives.

If this is the case, then you may be wondering what keeps everything from completely disintegrating when we are faced with such. In my experience, there is one force that is powerful enough to soothe any hiccups in life. That is the power of love.

In the past few months, I have experienced several incidents of sickness and death with members of my family, my friends, and even coworkers. In each case, there was enough cause to justify a breakdown in the lives and mental well-being of everyone involved. But I have also observed how love has instead strengthened these individuals.

The drawing together of family and friends at the bedside of the sick or dying allows them to express their love and give their support. With each person supporting just a little, the group as a whole is able to bear quite a bit.

My wife and I used to own a couch which we purchased basically because it was cheap – and we were poor at the time. It wasn’t a very comfortable piece of furniture, so when it came time for us to move, we decided to get rid of it.

You should have seen us trying to get this thing out of our apartment! It was three times as heavy as it was uncomfortable. I joked with Lisa that the reason it was such a lousy sofa was because it was made of solid rock!

This thing was impossible for one person to move and even for the two of us to lift. So, we did what anyone would do. We called over some of our friends and got them to come and help. What was an impossible task for one was nothing when there were six of us doing the work. We were easily able to pack that old sofa out to the dumpster.

So what does this have to do with our lives and those unexpected changes? Well…everything! Don’t try to face these challenges alone. What may seem to be a Herculean task to one may not seem as trying when we are able to draw strength from friends, family, and loved ones.

We are all in this thing called life together. None of us are immune to the unexpected. And as soon as we think we are, life will come along and pull the rug out from under our feet!

We are all connected. Today, I may be in one of life’s high phases while you may be facing trials. Tomorrow, the situation may be reversed. But if we all stand by each other to help each other up, we will all come through this a little easier than we would alone. So the next time you are down, I will do my best to offer you my hand in support. And by pulling you up, I pull myself up also.

Dragonfly Dreams, Part Twenty, The End of the Story

2009-01-29T18:03:00.000-08:00

“Don’t do it Chuck,” Frank said as his friend took a step toward the large, lush tree….supposedly the Tree of Life, “If she wants that Fruit bad enough…let her get it herself.”

Chuck paused, but only for a second, “Sorry mate. But she who holds the gun…makes the rules!”

Janet Jones just smirked again and waved her pistol. She had the upper hand. She had won. Soon, she would have the Fruit from the Tree of Life…and then she wouldn’t have a use for them anymore. She had said that she would let them go…but Frank seriously doubted it.

“Hurry it up!” Janet snapped, eyeing the soft, full, golden fruit that was hanging heavily from the branches of the tree. It looked so appetizing. Frank’s mouth was watering…even as he stared death in the face.

Frank couldn’t believe that it was all going to end this way. All of his adventures. The police in the airport…the race through the city…the trek into the jungle….the flight with the large dragonfly…and meeting Oprah Winfrey’s clone. It had all been for nothing. He felt angry and weak at the same time. Maybe he should just rush Janet and get it all over with….take her down once and for all!

“Don’t even think about it,” Janet turned her gun toward Frank’s face, “Take one step toward me and I’ll blow your head off!”

“Hold on now, old girl,” Chuck said, “I’m getting you what you want.”

The sound of arguing made the monkeys in the trees overhead start their squawking again. It sounded like they were directly overhead now….looking down at the commotion on the ground.

Frank and Janet both looked on in wonder as Chuck walked closer to the Tree of Life. Wasn’t it supposed to be guarded or something? Frank knew that at any moment that Chuck was going to be attacked by something. Would it be another large monkey like the one which had killed Gordon? Or would it be something mystical…a large angel brandishing a flaming sword?

But in the end, it turned out to be nothing. Standing on his tip-toes, Chuck reached up and plucked the largest piece of Fruit that he could get. To Frank, it looked like a cross between an apple and a pear. Except the color was all wrong. It was golden. Not yellow…it looked like it was made of real gold. The smell….a mix of honey and spice….increased and made his head spin. He wanted the Fruit for himself!

“But you know that it isn’t for you to eat,” he said to himself. Somehow, he knew that it would be wrong to take the fruit. It would be wrong to eat of it.

Now that she saw that Chuck was in no apparent danger, Janet raced over to him and snatched the fruit out of his hands.

She started to laugh, “It’s mine! It’s finally MINE!”

Lifting the Fruit to her nose, she inhaled deeply. Chuck looked like he was about to attack her…take back the Fruit that Janet had snatched from his hands.

“Chuck…NO!” Frank called, “Get over here. Something isn’t right! Don’t end up dead…like Harry.”

Maybe it was the sound of Frank’s voice…..or maybe it was the mention of Harry’s name…..but the result was the same. Chuck snapped out of his daze and quickly made his way over to Frank’s side.

Janet watched him walk away, but she didn’t make any move with her gun. She was too enticed with her prize.

“Oh my god!” her lips quivered, “It smells so GOOD! I can’t believe that it is finally mine…all mine!”

“Janet….wait,” Frank said, “Don’t eat it. Something isn’t right about this. I can feel it!”

Her lips curled back in a defiant sneer, Janet just chuckled, “The only thing that you feel is the fact that you are a LOSER. I won. I have the Fruit. I’m going to live FOREVER!”

And with that, she took a huge bite from the Fruit. Dark juice squirted out and ran down her chin as she chewed noisily.

“It tastes so GOOD!” she crowed, taking another large bite, “It’s like sunshine exploding inside my mouth.”

Slurping and spewing small pieces of fruit, her mouth worked feverishly to eat the Fruit as quickly as she could. It was like she couldn’t shovel it in fast enough. With a third bite, she had finished off more than half of the fruit. Her throat worked to swallow it just as quickly.

“Looks like our goose is cooked mate,” Chuck said, “We lost. She won. End of the game…you know?”

“Not so fast,” Frank said, his eyes never leaving Janet’s face for even one second, “Look!”

Something was happening. Slowly, a change was taking place. For a second, Frank hadn’t seen it…but now it was very apparent. Fur was starting to grow on Janet’s face. Fur!

Sensing the change, Janet stopped chewing. Throwing the fruit down on the ground, she began to cough and splutter….spitting pieces of half chewed fruit everywhere. She was choking…..choking on the Fruit that she had been trying to cram down her craw just moments before.

“What’s….what’s going on?” she screeched, her hands drawing up….fingers creaking…..turning black. Her gun dropped…useless….onto the Garden floor beside her.

Amazed…unable to say anything….both Frank and Chuck watched as the transformation sped up. Fur sprouted all over Janet’s body. Her eyes turned black and beady….getting smaller and closer together. Her nose shrank and turned black as well…..a moist film growing over it. It began to twitch excitedly. And then Janet….began to shrink. Slowly at first…and then quickly….she got smaller and smaller. She shrank into her clothes….slowly disappearing into her large blouse which now served as a tent.

“Nooooo!” she screamed, “Help me! Please…..it hurts! It hurts! It burns! Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

And then her screams turned into screeches. Screeches that sounded somewhat familiar. Screeches that sounded like…

“The monkeys,” Chuck whispered, “She sounds just like those monkeys that have been swinging around us all this time.”

And so it was. With one last convulsion, the transformation completed itself. Springing from her blouse, Janet Jones….now a small, plump monkey….quickly ran across the grass and climbed the Tree of Life. She stopped midway to look back and give one final screech of anger before disappearing into the branches. Overhead, the rest of the monkey pack began to wail….greeting their newest member.

“My God!” Frank said, “Do you think that all of those….those monkeys….were once….”

“People,” Chuck was scanning the tops of the branches, trying to see Janet Jones and the rest of the pack, “Yes….yes I do. This must be the curse that was placed on the Tree of Life.”

Frank tried to imagine it. To live forever….but as a monkey. To never die. But to be an animal. To be immortal. But never, ever leave the Garden.

“This isn’t what she had in mind,” Frank said, “She wanted power….and instead she found….”

“Living Hell,” Chuck said, “But…I have to say…it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person.”

“And one more thing,” Frank said, “I think I know who…or what…is taking care of the Garden.”

“You mean…..the monkeys are doing it?” Chuck asked.

Frank nodded. It made perfect sense. What else did they have to do? When you live forever, time has little meaning. He shuddered suddenly like someone had walked over his grave. He tried to imagine the life of the monkeys….living forever…trapped in servitude to the very Garden which had changed them.

“Come on mate,” Chuck continued, “Let’s get out of this place.”

And so, turning back toward the staircase which would lead them out of the Garden of Eden….out of the temple which had brought only death and misery….Chuck and Frank began to make their way back to the outside world. Frank wasn’t sure what he was going to do now. There was so much swirling in his head that he couldn’t think…..but one thing was for sure. He was going to be looking for another job.

“Nobody needs a job this bad,” he murmured to himself.

Just before they walked out of the temple door and back into the Brazilian jungle, Frank turned to take one last look. It was no surprise to him that he saw….hovering there in the air….the largest dragonfly that he had ever seen in his life. The dragonfly…the Face of God. This is what Mizzus Irza had seen. This is what had been leading him all this time. Bowing his head and closing his eyes, he turned and stepped out into the warm, Brazilian sunshine. He really needed a vacation.

“How about a trip to the Caribbean?” he asked Chuck as they walked down the steps.

“Now you’re talking mate!”

The air had never smelled sweeter. Frank smiled.

Elk Herd in Breathitt County

2009-01-22T16:25:00.000-08:00

My wife Lisa and I were driving back home from Jackson the other day when we saw this herd of elk at Clayhole. It was magical!

Dragonfly Dreams, Part Nineteen

2009-01-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

There are moments in our life when time seems to speed up, bringing each new day crashing into our existence without reason or mercy. Then, there are those when time seems to stand still…almost stop. This was one of those moments for Frank Mason. Slowly….carefully….he led the way deeper and deeper onto the lush green floor of the inner temple. Supposedly, this was the Garden of Eden. At any other time, he may have been ecstatic to make such a discovery. Of course, at any other time, he wouldn’t have had a murderer holding a gun toward the back of his head.

Janet Jones let out a small grunt from behind him. “Don’t try anything foolish or your other pal here will get it!”

Frank knew what she meant. Janet had already killed one person…Harry, the shapeshifter. She had put a bullet into his brain as easily as a kid putting quarters in a gumball machine. He knew that she would probably end up just killing both him and Chuck anyway. But he had to stall for time. He had to think of some way out of this mess.

“Mate,” Chuck whispered from his left, “I can’t believe that you are actually leading her to the Tree of Life! Come on mate! You should know better than that.”

“I’m trying to come up with a plan,” Frank whispered back.

A shot fired and a bullet whizzed over their heads. “Stop that whispering!” Janet ordered.

As they entered the Garden of Eden proper, Frank got a better sense of the place. At first, he thought that the trees and plants were just growing up between the stones in the floor. The soft cushion beneath his feet told him differently. There was actual soil underneath there! He wondered if this temple was built by man or angels or by God Himself? So many unanswered questions!

As if agreeing with him, the swarm of monkeys in the branches overhead started their squawking once more. They kept their distance, but Frank could tell that the band of monkeys was following them. He wondered if they were going to attack them like the huge monkey outside the temple had attacked and killed Gordon Jones. Maybe these monkeys would rip the head off of Ms. Jones.

“Excuse me,” Chuck called out so that Janet could hear him, “In the Bible, doesn’t it state that the Tree of Life is guarded or something? How do you even know that you are going to be able to get near it?”

“I don’t,” Janet said, “But that is where you two come in. I need Frank to find the Tree…and I need you to test the waters…so to speak. To see if there really is a trap.”

“Oh,” Chuck said, “Glad that you’re keeping me around for something.”

“Don’t worry,” Janet said, “I just want the fruit. Once I get it, you two are free to go about your business. I won’t have any further use for you.”

Somehow, Frank didn’t think that she was telling the complete truth.

On they trudged through the Garden. For some place which hadn’t supposedly had any human interaction for thousands of years, the grounds were remarkably well kept. The grass was cut short, the trees were trimmed into a pleasing shape….even the flowers seemed to be well tended.

“Hey Chuck,” Frank whispered, risking the wrath of Janet Jones once more, “Have you noticed how well kept this place is? Who do you think does all of that?”

“I don’t know mate,” Chuck whispered back, “But I see what you mean. This place doesn’t exactly look deserted…does it?”

And then, the music started. Soft at first…and then it quickly grew louder and louder. Frank could recognize it anywhere. It was the voice of Billie Holiday. Once again, he was lost in the song.

There’s a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we’re often told…seek and you shall find

And suddenly it became effortless. Everything else disappeared for him. In his mind, he wasn’t thinking about Chuck….or poor dead Harry….or even Janet Jones with her deadly gun. Everything in his mind focused on one thing…the great and powerful Tree of Life. And then his feet started to move….almost seemed to float on the grass as they carried him first in one direction and then another. Deeper and deeper into the Garden he traveled.

And then, there it was in front of them. The most beautiful tree that he had ever seen in his life. The leaves were so green that it hurt his eyes just to look at them. The branches curved out from the great and sturdy trunk so gracefully that they seemed to be about to break into a ballet at any moment. And the fruit….so full, so ripe, and so golden. And it wasn’t just appetizing to the eye….the scent was full of wonderful things….honey, spices, and a touch of zest that he couldn’t quite identify.

Instantly he was struck with a hunger that he knew nothing on the planet would ease…except for this fruit…this fruit of the Tree of Life. His mouth began to water. He glanced over at Chuck and Janet Jones and saw that the Tree was having the same effect on them. They both had a glazed, faraway look on their eyes.

Shaking her head, Janet suddenly snapped out of the daze that she had been in. She took two steps toward the Tree….anxious to get her hands on the Fruit. But then…she stopped. She looked around at them and grinned an evil grin.

“You know…this is all too easy,” she said, “And I DO think that there will probably be a trap.”

Her hand snapped like a cobra…holding her gun toward Chuck. “I need you to go and be my gatherer. You are….expendable.”

And as if to make her point come across even more, she cocked her gun.

“You have until the count of three,” she said, “One….two….”

Until next week….class dismissed.