Heading to the Smokies!

As I write this, I am getting ready to head down to Gatlinburg in order for Lisa and I to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary. Our anniversary is actually on Saturday, May 17th, but we are going to Gatlinburg next week because we are still finishing up the last few moments of school. Hey…you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do.

I have been to Gatlinburg several times, but I still enjoy visiting that area. For one thing, there is some beautiful scenery. All of those fine discount malls and fabulous restaurants. Oh….and I guess that the Smoky Mountains aren’t too bad either. To each their own!

For some reason, Lisa and I have this strange compulsion to ride the Gatlinburg sky-lift each year that we go. One of our walls is cluttered with framed photos of us squeezed into one of those little compartments, dangling thousands of feet in the air over the Great Smokies. We will definitely take our picture this time also in order to see how much we have aged over the past 16 years together. Actually, it has been great. I couldn’t ask for a better wife!

If you have never ridden on a sky-lift, let me describe it to you. First of all, there is a thin, little wire connected to several spindly little poles that look as though they could fall at any minute. These cables are attached to tiny little compartments, barely big enough to hold a mouse. Naturally, Lisa and I feel compelled to squeeze ourselves into one of these little death traps and hover over the jagged rocks of certain doom. Did I forget to add that we also want to have our pictures taken during this process? Oh….the joys of being a tourist!

The first time that I got on the sky-lift in Gatlinburg, I wasn’t too concerned. I had been on the one at Natural Bridge plenty of times. However, there is something sort of unnerving about having one thin bar sitting between me and certain death. Whenever I am on one of those things, I am always imagining what I will do if the cable breaks. Well…I guess that I would scream….and fall….and probably break every bone in my body. Other than that….I don’t think that I would be able to do much else. The most that I could hope for is to land in one of those “clear, refreshing streams” that run through Gatlinburg. Then I could be carried away by the rushing tide and drown. At least I would drown in clean mountain waters.

I have stated in the past that I have a very active imagination. It is always lurking there in the back of my mind, waiting to pounce. I am sure that it will be no different this weekend. As you can see, it is already starting to awaken. Sort of like the rabid black bear that will probably claw at my legs as they dangle inches above its foaming snout as I ride tranquilly through the Smokies.

Naturally, I am joking (mostly) when I talk about this. Other than the threat of a certain and painful death, the ride on the sky-lift is very enjoyable. There is the crisp mountain air, the beautiful scenery, and the hot chocolate that awaits at the top of the mountain. If you love nature and being outdoors, there is nothing like the view of the Smoky Mountains from this ride. I am always hoping that I will catch a glimpse of Dolly Parton running through the hills, but I haven’t had any luck so far. I thought that I saw her once, but it was just a UDO…and Unidentified Dolly-like Object. Oh well….maybe this time!

So, I will go with my little tourist dollars and ride my little tourist ride and get my little tourist picture. What other joys in life are there anyway? Unless you count cake….anniversary cake is pretty dang good! Until next time….class dismissed.