Monday, August 24, 2009

Dark as Coal, Part Two

Mary Jones stood huddled with a small group of women near the entrance to the Number 23 mine. They were each holding signs prompting people to “Pray to Jesus” and “Hope for Miracle.” But Mary knew in her heart that there was not going to be a miracle for any of them. It was hopeless. Everyone knew it. It was just that when you love someone as much as she and the other wives loved their husbands, it was hard to give up hope.

It had been one week since she had seen the vision in her mirror. Walter had been standing behind her, staring at her….holding out his arms toward her. It had frightened her at the time. Then the phone call from Jenny Smith had made everything crystal clear in her head. It had been a ghost….Walter’s ghost. He had come to say goodbye.

According to the news, which had been covering the story everyday for the past week, the mine had collapsed due to bad mining conditions and poor management. Of course, then the news had to bring up every old story about mine citations and other disasters in mining history…as if people wanted to hear that stuff anyway! About three days into the disaster, the news stopped calling it a search and rescue mission. Now it was a search and find mission…as in finding the dead bodies of all the miners.

Mary wiped a tear from her face. She had thought that they were all cried out, but she surprised herself. She just hoped that Walter had gone quickly. She didn’t like to think that he might have suffered.

“Pray with me Mary,” Jenny Smith trod up beside her and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her down onto the rocks.

Mary didn’t particularly feel like praying. It was hot…and the sharp gravels were digging into her knees. She didn’t want to upset Jenny though. Jenny was taking it harder than most of them. She had just married Bill Smith two months ago…and she was already expecting a child. It was going to be hard raising a baby without a husband…especially at 16. So, Mary bowed her head as Jenny began to weep and wail out to God for a miracle. She wasn’t totally cold-hearted. And besides, she could put up with a lot of things. A little physical discomfort wasn’t going to kill her.

Just then there was a sound of loud shouting coming from the direction of the mine. Several men in yellow coats and hard hats came running out of the mine, waving their arms and motioning for help. Mary froze. Her heart dropped down into her stomach which was sour anyway from lack of a proper diet and sleep. Had they found the bodies? Was this the end? She found that she was clutching Jenny Smith a little too tightly…but she couldn’t help it.

One of the miners who was standing vigil near the entrance of the mine came running toward the group of wives. He shouted out, “They found them. They found the bodies. Oh dear God…they found all the bodies.”

Mary heard the wailing start up around her as the women began screaming out their pain and anguish. She had started to tear up again also. But she couldn’t figure out if it was out of sadness for the loss of her husband or relief that his body had been found. She guessed a little of both. At least there would be closure. She wondered how much insurance money she would get from the mine….and how long it would last her.

Another miner came storming up to them. His words made her heart stop. “One of them is still alive. It’s a miracle! One of the trapped miners is still alive! Praise God!”

Her breath caught in her throat. She looked over at Jenny Smith. They were still holding each other. Their eyes locked. Instantly they pushed apart from each other. They knew….they both knew…that in a moment, one of them might hear the wonderful news that her husband was still alive. And they both in that moment knew that they were wishing that it was true…that their husband was still alive. But by doing so….Mary was, in a sense, wishing that Jenny’s husband was dead. And she knew that Jenny was doing the same thing about Walter. And you just can’t hold onto someone who is wishing death upon your family, now can you?

Mary got to her feet. She didn’t offer to help Jenny up. Let her stay down on the ground and pray some more. Mary was going to start walking toward the mine. She just had to see…who was still alive? Some more of the wives started walking with her.

“Who is it?” someone yelled out, “Who survived?”

And then, another man in a yellow coat and hard hat appeared. He was carrying one end of a stretcher. Another man, similarly dressed, was carrying the other end. And on the stretcher was…

“WALTER!” Mary screamed!

And it was Walter. She could recognize that long, crooked nose from anywhere. She ran toward him, but someone was holding her back.

“No Mary,” a voice was saying, “Don’t look at him. He’s alive…but something’s wrong with him. Don’t look at him Mary. We’ve got to get him to the hospital.”

But she did look at him. She looked at his face….as dark as coal. She looked at his hair…matted and clumped with dirt…mud…and something else. And his mouth….it looked red and raw. Like he had been punched in the mouth.

And as she was looking at him…trying to get to him…he opened his eyes. And it was almost like it was in her kitchen that day...right before the accident. One eye was white….and it was Walter…she could see it! But the other eye….the other eye….was as black as midnight. And it was shining. And Walter started to scream and scream and scream. And he was reaching out toward her, his hands drawn into claws. But Mary didn’t care. Walter was still alive.

Until next week….class dismissed.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dark as Coal, Part One

Mary Jones stood at the sink washing up a mess of potatoes for supper. Her husband Walter was a coal-miner, and his favorite meal was any kind of fried meat (chicken, beef, pork…he didn’t care!) and fried taters. So, being the good wife that she was, Mary always made sure that there were fried taters on the table. At breakfast, they had fried eggs, bacon, and fried taters. For lunch, she sent him along with a few cans of potted meat, crackers, a Twinkie…and a small dish of leftover fried taters. And for supper each night, she made even more fried taters.

Truth be told, Mary was quite sick of fried taters. Sometimes just the smell of them frying made her want to puke her guts out. But, she was raised to please her husband. And so…she made fried taters. Day in and day out. Sometimes she even dreamed that she was frying up a mess of taters.

Mary sighed. It was a good little life that she and Walter had made for themselves here in the hills of Breathitt County, Kentucky. She had been a high-school dropout and without an education, she hadn’t had much hope for a comfortable future. But then she had seen Walter at Save-a-Lot one day while shopping for pickled bologna. Walter had finished high school and had a good job as a coal miner. He wasn’t much to look at. His nose was sort of long and crooked and he was missing a few teeth. He also had knobby legs. He came out of the mines each day just as black as you please. And he sort of smelled.

But he was good to her. And he had a decent job. And she was the only one of her family who wasn’t on food stamps or welfare…so she guessed that she was doing pretty well in life. She and Walter had a real nice double wide trailer on land that they had bought and paid for. Their well had good water, and they had two dozen chickens in the back yard that gave them plenty of eggs to eat. They raised a little garden in the summer, and Mary had gotten quite good at canning beans, tomato juice, and pickled corn. The pickled corn went along real good with pickled bologna…and fried taters. She smacked her lips and knew that she was going to cook that for supper tonight. Walter wouldn’t care….he only cared for taters.

Happy with her lot in life, Mary began to hum a few tunes of “Jesus Loves Me.” She hadn’t been to church in a long time, and she felt a little guilty about not keepin’ up with the Lord. But she had gone to so much church when she was a little girl that she felt that she was due a little break. Walter didn’t believe in churches. But he was a God-fearin’ man. He prayed a lot at home…when he wasn’t drinkin’. Not that he was drunk. He just liked to cut wild sometimes. Mary didn’t care as long as Walter kept workin’ and bringing home that paycheck. She could put up with a little drinkin’. She could put up with a lot of things.

Bending down to get a pan out for the pickled corn, she suddenly felt like she wasn’t alone. It was weird because she and Walter were the only ones who lived in their little double-wide. They hadn’t had any kids yet. Truth be told, Mary wasn’t too sure that she even wanted kids. All of her sisters and brothers had kids…tons of them. And kids meant one thing….spending money. Money was hard to come by, and Mary didn’t want to be spending any of her money on a bunch of snot-nosed kids.

But the feeling persisted. Someone was standing behind her! With a startled screech, she jumped up and twirled around, brandishing the pot in her hand like a club. There was nobody behind her. Besides her, the kitchen was empty.

Laughing to herself, she turned back to her stove.

“Silly woman,” she whispered to herself, opening up a nice, fat jar of pickled corn, “Givin’ yourself the willies. What are ya? A little girl?”

It just so happened that at that exact moment something moving caught the corner of her eye. Without moving her head, she raised her eyes and looked in the mirror that hung on the wall behind her stove.

Walter was standing behind her…staring at her with eyes wide with fright. His face was black, making his eyes appear even whiter and wider than ever. His mouth was open like he was screaming…but no words were coming out of his mouth. And he was reaching out toward her…his hands clutching for her.

With a true scream this time, Mary twirled around. Had Walter gone crazy? Why was he home so early?

Nobody was behind her. Nobody at all. The kitchen was empty.

Just then the phone rang, making her screech out again. Her hands shaking nervously, she fumbled for the receiver. At first she was so nervous that she had the dumb thing upside down. She finally figured out what was wrong and turned it back around.

“Mary?” a tiny voice called out over the phone, “Mary? This is Jenny Smith…from down the road. Oh God Mary…you’ve gotta’ come quick. There’s been an accident….at the mine.”

Mary’s legs felt weak…and she slowly slid to the floor. The voice at the other end of the phone…Jenny Smith….kept going.

“Mary? Are you there?” it insisted in its hysterical tone, “There’s been a cave-in at the mine. There’s a bunch of ‘em trapped down there. My Bill…and your Walter. They’re trapped! Trapped!”

Suddenly it was hard to breath. Mary kept thinking about what she had just seen in her kitchen.

“Mary?” Jenny kept going, “You’ve got to come. They might all be dead!”

Until next week….class dismissed.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Grumpy, Frumpy....Down and Dumpy!


Okay...I guess it has been one of "THOSE" days. It stated out good enough and then went to hell in a handbasket right away. How come the best way to get to hell is in a handbasket anyway? And what the hell is a handbasket? Oh well...I diverge.


I know that there are people in this world who just love to bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself just to make themselves feel better. I don't know what it is about these people...and usually I can take it with a grain of salt and go on. I'm the one who usually tells others to just ignore those people. But guess what? I'm human too! Shocker, huh? Let me just say that it was a bad day.


But...tomorrow is tomorrow and tomorrow is another day. What?


Tomorrow will be better. I'll fake it until then. :-)


My MIL has it right! This is how I feel...lol.
Tell us about it...Janet!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I'm in The Morehead News!

Hey everyone! Anyone? Are you out there?

Oh well! I just wanted to let you know that my article "Class Action" is now being printed in The Truth (online newspaper run by East Ky Media), The Breathitt Advocate, and The Morehead News! I'm also submitting it to The Hazard Herald, but I don't know if they have printed anything yet...yet.

I'm syndicated!


Hoppy hoppy...joy joy
I'm happy!

Monday, August 10, 2009

HMR Diet..30 pounds in almost 3 months


I have been living "in the box" (mostly) for almost the last 3 months. I have been eating foods from the HMR (Health Management Resources) diet plan. I get 3 shakes a day, 2 entrees a day, and unlimited fruit and vegetables. It has been a really easy diet to follow because I am eating all day long.

So far, I have lost right at 30 pounds. I am wearing pants I haven't worn in 2 years! I want to lose about 36 more pounds. Then...we'll see.

I'll keep you posted on my HMR progress. By the way...I do have a cheat day every now and then. Hey...it's called living. I can still lose the weight and not feel deprived.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Hatfield Reunion 2009...Photos!

The Hatfield Reunion...2009!

Hey there everyone! I know that I said that I might start my story about Walter the coalminer this week, but then life happened. I wanted to share with you all about my weekend with some of the best people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

As my wife Lisa and I pulled onto the gravel driveway of Creekside Cabins and RV Park in Louisa, KY, I could see the huge, professionally-made sign welcoming us to the annual Hatfield Family Reunion. And yes…when I say Hatfield…I mean the ones you have heard about in Appalachian legend. As if to drive the message home, there was a picture of shotguns on the sign along with the words “No McCoys.” All of this was in good fun though…although I’ve never seen a McCoy anywhere near the area during this time of year.

As we drove under the covered bridge and entered the park grounds, it was almost like coming home. I only see most of these people once a year, but somehow there is no strange awkwardness or silence. These people are family. They were there to greet us with plenty of handshakes, back slaps, and hugs. I could feel the smile starting to spread across my face. Somehow I knew that it would stay there the entire weekend. When you are around people as nice as the Hatfield clan, it isn’t hard to be jolly.

The smell of wood smoke and roasting meat made my stomach growl hungrily. Have I mentioned that the Hatfields love to eat? They are people after my own heart…and stomach. A large smoker roared with fire and smoke the entire weekend producing such tantalizing treats as smoked pork loin, spicy chicken wings, pork shoulder (pulled and smothered), and brisket. Rusty and Mike Hatfield manned the smoker and did not let us down as they produced many wonderful meals.

We checked into our cabin. It was very nice with 2 bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, and living room. There was a full front porch (complete with rocking chairs) and a back deck that overlooked a stream that chugged along happily as if it were also enjoying the festivities. Although I have been attending the Hatfield reunion for the last 3 years now, I am still amazed at the compact clean accommodations at Creekside Cabins and RV Park.

As in years past, the main attractions of the reunion took place under the “big top.” A large canopy stretched out to create the perfect space to eat, talk, laugh, and then eat some more. I had helpings from so many dishes that I ran out of plate space at each meal. When you are at a reunion, plate space is more precious than gold! Sometimes you have to stack one type of food on top of another. But then, of course, you have the chance at plate “breakage.” Fortunately this did not happen and I was able to sample many dishes including not one but TWO types of hash brown casseroles! Everything was rich and creamy…swimming in grease, cream, butter, and sugar. It was an anorexic’s nightmare! But that just meant that I wanted to have seconds of everything!!!

After eating a large meal, apparently the Hatfields love to get out and about on a hayride! Of course, I just had to take part of that as well. We all flopped down on a large trailer pulled by a sputtering John Deere tractor driven by the ever vigilant Rusty Hatfield. We were all so weighted down with all that good food that we worried about the tractor breaking down before we could get back to the camp grounds. However, the trustworthy tractor took us on a delightful trip that allowed us to show off the Hatfield friendliness to the neighborhood! We even took a sign so that people would know who we were. I think that we entertained several people that evening.

Speaking of entertainment, the Hatfield Reunion is notorious for its entertainment. Carrie (Hatfield) Moore is in charge of the entertainment. This year, the game involved blindfolding family members and having them guess what they were holding. The items for some of the older members included tame items such as vegetables, toys, and other sundries. Then they called up some of the “younger” members…and I use this term loosely since some of us involved were not that young, myself included! I thought that this was going to be easy…but NO! Instead of passing around items, they passed around…ahem….animal excrement for us to guess! Needless to say, it wasn’t too pleasant for us…but hilarious for everyone else. But I can’t complain too much. If I had been in the audience, I would have been laughing just as hard. Carrie is a wonderful, sweet young woman who goes out of her way to make everyone feel welcome. Keep up the good work Carrie! I can’t wait to see what we are all going to be doing next year!

After the entertainment, several people went to bed while the rest of us sat up. We talked. We laughed. And…we sang. The karaoke machine was a very popular item. We even had our own version of the Oakridge Boys as a large group of them broke out with the song “Elvira!” I can still hear it now as I write this article. Have I been scarred for life? If I am, it is a price worth paying for all the laughter and fun that we had just hanging out and enjoying life.

All too soon, the Hatfield Reunion ended for another year. With more hugs and back slaps, we all promised to get together again next year. We even hope to visit with some of them this coming year so that it isn’t so long in between getting to see each other. Also, thanks to Face Book and other social sites, we can keep up with each other. Isn’t technology amazing?

Now we are just left with some wonderful memories…and some really cool pictures. I’ll share some of these with you. The rest? Well…let’s just say that some of them will remain top secret until next year’s reunion when we can share them with everyone on the “big screen.” And believe me…some of them are very, very precious!

Until next week…..class dismissed!

Julie and Julia...and FOOD at Cedar Village!

Went to the movies yesterday with the wife. We traveled to Richmond and watched it at the new Cinemark in Richmond Centre. It was a great movie and we both loved it. We have been reading "My Life in France" and "Julie and Julia" for the last week or so....and the movie did not disappoint.


We had heard that you shouldn't go and see this movie (about Julia Child!) on an empty stomach. Can't imagine why...lol!


On the way over to Richmond, we stopped off at a place in Irvine called Cedar Village Restaurant. I was just hoping for some decent country food. I haven't had that in a while....but let me tell you. THIS PLACE HAD THE BEST FOOD I HAVE EVER EATEN!


I was so impressed! We each had the buffet. It had the most amazing fried catfish on it. It was so hot, fresh, and flaky. It literally just melted in your mouth. I must have eaten a lake-full of fish! I also had some fried chicken, soup beans, cornbread, hashbrown casserole, mashed potatoes, and green beans (country style)! I was in heaven!


Usually on a buffet, I will enjoy maybe one or two things. I have found that when the chicken is good then the fish isn't....or if the beans are pretty good then the cornbread will suck. But I have to say that I didn't find one thing that I DIDN'T like about this place. I actually licked my plate! When have you done that at a restaurant before!


I finished off with a desert that was so good that I could have died right then and there...life would have found perfection. It was flaky, sweet, and spicy with hints of apple and cinnamon. One of the nice ladies who worked there said that it was called an "Old Fashioned Butter Roll" and was just full of sugar, butter, flour, and other good things. I didn't ask for the calorie count. When food is this good, it is worth the sacrifice.


I'm just glad that this place is a little bit from our house. If it was too close, I would have TLC at my house doing a documentary on the world's most obese man. They would have to cut a hole in the side of my log home just to get me out...and back to the Cedar Village!
If you want to check out their website, visit http://www.cedarvillage.biz/ .