Mary Jones was walking with Jesus. They were at the mall, and Jesus was going on and on about the sale on jeans at the Gap. Mary thought this was really weird. When did Jesus start wearing jeans? But Mary was nice enough not to say anything. He was the Lord, after all.
They stopped off at Drinks N Things for a slushie. Mary got a blueberry. Jesus just got a water…but then turned his into a cherry slushie afterwards. Then he turned to Mary.
“Listen to me Mary,” he said, “There is something wrong with Walter.”
“What do you mean?” Mary asked. Only now, she wasn’t talking to Jesus anymore. She was talking to a life-size Pillsbury Dough Boy. He was slurping his cherry slushie down so fast that it was dribbling a red stain down his chest.
“You know what I mean,” the Dough Boy said, “He isn’t Walter anymore. He’s….well…let’s just say that he is something else. Walter is still in there…for the moment. But the other one is getting stronger.”
“The other one….and who would that be,” Mary asked.
“You know,” the Dough Boy said, “He has been called many names…but has no true name. The One Who Has No Name.”
And then he pointed off into the distance. Mary was suddenly aware that they weren’t in a mall anymore. They were in a corn field. And in the distance she saw a dark, twisting shape that was full of teeth and long stringing tubes. Gurgling loudly, it started making its way hungrily toward her. Startled, she looked back over to the Dough Boy. He was gone. So was Jesus.
It was just her….all alone…with the Beast. Sharp teeth touched her arm.
With a jolt, Mary awoke. Disoriented from the dream, she didn’t know where she was for a moment. And then she realized that she was still in the hospital, next to Walter’s bed. Walter’s empty bed. He was gone! While she had slept, Walter had gotten up and walked off!
Suddenly alarmed, she jumped up and ran out into the hallway. Where could he have gone? Why?
Nobody was in the hallway. She hadn’t half expected there to be anyone, but her heart still sank. Running past the nurses’ station, she heard the phone ringing off the hook and realized that the night nurse hadn’t shown up yet. I wonder where she is, Mary thought as she continued scanning the hallways and doors for Walter.
People, tired and haggard looking from lack of sleep, turned to look at her as she ran from doorway to doorway. They probably thought that she was crazy. Let them. Maybe she was a little crazy. It was that dream. That crazy dream. What had caused that? Probably that nasty hospital cafeteria lasagna that she had had earlier. Her stomach churned at the thought.
Yet still, there was no sign of Walter.
“Dear God,” she prayed, “Please…please help me find him. Help me find my Walter.”
Taking a sharp corner, she passed a security guard who gave her a strange look.
“Can I help you ma’am?” he asked, absent-mindedly reaching for his club. He didn’t want to take any chances with this wild-looking woman.
“My husband,” Mary managed to croak out in a voice so raspy that even she was shocked at its sound, “I can’t find my husband.”
The guard relaxed. He smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry ma’am,” he said, “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere. This hospital isn’t that big. Maybe he stepped outside to smoke?”
Mary didn’t bother to let him know that her husband was a patient…or that he had stopped smoking 6 years earlier. She just nodded and ran on, leaving the guard behind. He just scratched his head and shrugged.
“Females,” he muttered to himself.
As she neared the front entrance, Mary passed the stairs. On a whim, she turned and slammed through the stairway door. And there was Walter!
Only he wasn’t alone.
Her hands went to her mouth to cover her silent scream as she watched the large black tubes suck up the rest of the bloody mess that was on the floor. What looked like a finger was the last thing to go. A tube sucked it up and into Walter’s mouth. With a loud crunch, he chewed it up…bones and all…and swallowed. Then he turned to face Mary. And his eyes…..oh God…his eyes! Dark as coal…and yet alive with an inner fire!
“Delicious,” Walter hissed, his eyes reflecting the light into a million prisms of darkness.
And then he started to walk toward her, his hands stretched out grotesquely like he wanted a hug….but Mary knew better. She wanted to run but couldn’t. The eyes…they froze her in place. Even her screams wouldn’t come.
“And now…for desert,” Walter grinned with a mouthful of fangs that glistened with drool and blood.
Until next week, class dismissed!
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